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Childminding concerns which may be linked to dd's change in behaviour.

33 replies

galaxy · 30/12/2006 21:21

We moved dd (4) to a new minder 4 months ago. Her minder is very pleasant and has a 4 year old herself but she appears to do nothing with her mindees. dd has never done any colouring, crafts or anything remotely hands on. She occassionally has a story but that seems to be a rare occurence. The TV is permanently on - it's on with the kids watching it when dh drops off at 9 and still on when he or I collect at 5. They do play with toys and there are occasional trips to the park but there doesn't appear to be any interraction with the minder. dd's first minder that she was with for 3 years did loads with her charges. We were always receiving colourings, paintings, cakes etc, they had story time and vists to play groups and the library. I'm not expecting something every day, but at least 1 picture in 4 months would have been nice.
In addition, dd's behaviour has deteriorated - she seems to have a very limited attention span, doesn't listen to or do as she's told and has been a complete handful over this Christmas week.
On a less important but still annoying note, the bill for this week included a full day charge for Christmas and Boxing Day which was completely unexpected - contract isn't clear either way. dd wasn't with minder at all this week.
dd currently goes to minder 4 afternoons a week and full days in holidays. From this term, she'll be there for 3 afternoons only plus f/t in holidays.
I'm becoming more convinced that her behaviour change is linked to the lack of stimulation and too much TV and am considering sending her to pre-school full time instead which I think she's ready for. The only problem I'll have is the school holidays which will cause some issues as her school has longer holidays than state schools.
I want to do the right thing but don't want to cause dd any unnecessary stress.

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galaxy · 12/01/2007 22:01

Just thought I'd post an update for those who were kind enough to give advice.

dd went to school and Wednesday and did her 1st full day as planned. SPoke to her teacher who agreed that she was capable of doing 4 full days. Spoke to CM yesterday and gave 4 weeks notice. Just explained that we felt dd would benefit from the stimulation of the school environment.She was fine and we've agreed that we'l get the children together for Soft Play or similar in the school holidays as they adore each other.

So thanks for your support - all's well that ends well!

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batters · 04/01/2007 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

galaxy · 03/01/2007 18:43

Thanks for your many comments. I think we have made our mind up.
I need to check the contract to see how much notice I have to give and then speak to the school when they re-open next Wednesday to see whether they have vacancies for the extra days we need. They'll only allow us to increase the days from after half term which will probably work out about right if I have to give c/m a month's notice.
I think dd is ready for full time even though she was only 4 in November. She can't wait to go all day next Wednesday! The only downside is that she'll probably have to stay for the after school club most days as well which means staying until about 5pm but I guess that is no different to if she was in a day nursery.
Hopefully my in-laws and my mum will help out over the extended Easter holidays but is a bit of a faff as my mum is not local. She can go to a Play scheme for the main holidays which I have no worries about.
Roll on September when she is in normal school and I don't have to worry about ridiculously long holidays!
Thanks for all your comments - it's helped us to think more clearly about what's best for dd.

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notformethanks · 03/01/2007 17:02

kteepee,

sounds like you were very lucky with your nursery not many of them are like that in my experience..

as for the childminder who is the subject of this thread, from what galaxy has told us it would appear she is providing a poor service and deserves our scorn just as much as any day nursery ever could!

jeangenie · 03/01/2007 17:00

I'll be blunt - I don't think this childminder sounds good - too much TV, crap food, little non-tv stimulation, possible smoking in the house, raised voices...

I would move your DD to f/t school and look around for another option. Any chance you and your DH could split the Easter hols if you haven't found a solution by then?

sounds horrendous to me

(I'm speaking as someone who pulled DD2 out of her nursery after a week when I saw what was going on there - we managed to muddle through and have now got a much better solution, have never for one second regreted pulling her out either )

smeeinit · 03/01/2007 16:59

batters you maybe should have read my post properly before commenting on it "oh id never send my child to nursery"................it was addressed to notformethanks not the op.

KTeePee · 03/01/2007 16:52

I should have said that the woman who owned the nursery had started out as a childminder and gradually expanded the business into a nursery - maybe that was why it was so good

batters · 03/01/2007 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KTeePee · 03/01/2007 16:49

Well, my view was that a childminder working on her own could just be plonking the kids in front of the tv all day - and I would never know until they were old enough to talk... I think my views were possibly coloured by the two fishwives working as childminders on my road tbh

My dd went to a lovely family run nursery with plenty of structure to the day, lots of activities, etc. and a low staff turnover. She was very happy there but I'm sure day nurseries vary wildly and don't suit everyone....

shosha · 03/01/2007 16:42

Message withdrawn

smeeinit · 03/01/2007 16:37

notformethanks......im with you on that one! i think most people on here who know me will know i would rather put my children in a cage full of rabied dogs than put them in a nursery!!
again as someone who has worked in nurserys and seen first hand what REALLY goes on its the last place my children would EVER go.
altho that said i dont think any nurserys would want my 2 teengers anyway!!

notformethanks · 03/01/2007 16:08

kteepee

"I have to say that these are the sort of things I worried about happening if I sent my dd to a childminder - so I chose a day nursery instead"

Having worked in several day nurseries and seen the standards of care/what goes on there, I would never send a child to one (or work in one again).

sorry!

galaxy · 03/01/2007 14:04

nannynick..that's kind of you thanks. Have seen your website and very impressive! Think the main Easter hols are ok tbh as I will take a week off and she can either go to my mum or to a holiday scheme. Its the 23rd March and the 16th I may struggle with but hoping that in-laws will be back in UK by then so may be OK.

I have always been a strong advocator of minder over nursery and still am but I think that we didn't do our homework properly on this occassion.

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blondehelen · 03/01/2007 12:16

I removed my ds from cm I was originally happy with and then a few niggles started, pretty much like you described. i have since checked her latest ofsted report and it was horrendous. Might be worth checking out her ofsted report If you have doubts then you need to look elsewhere. Easier said done i know and quite stressful but it will be worth it in the end.

KTeePee · 03/01/2007 12:09

I have to say that these are the sort of things I worried about happening if I sent my dd to a childminder - so I chose a day nursery instead... not saying at all that all childminders are like that but I have observed a few out and about here who have done things I was a bit at!

nannynick · 03/01/2007 11:56

If it's of any help, I'm off work week beginning 2 April and week beginning 9 April. Could perhaps solve two weeks of the Easter Hols. Contact me directly to discuss if you like, I'm sure you can find my contact details on the web if you don't have them already.

galaxy · 03/01/2007 11:38

LGJ...end of Feb. I was looking at that last night - and it runs in the school hols too so no concerns from Sept onwards assuming she gets in - fingers crossed very tightly!

Was thinking of Barracudas for some days in the summer. Main issue is the month she is off over Easter.

I can't say anything about the smoking in the house though as dd may have got it wrong - she was quite vague - he may have been standing on the doorstep to the back garden? She says it was ages ago.

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shosha · 03/01/2007 11:30

Message withdrawn

SherlockLGJ · 03/01/2007 11:28

When do you hear from you know where ?

They have a fab after school club ?

galaxy · 03/01/2007 11:21

Bigger concern now. I dropped off this morning - a rare occurrence and the house stank of cigarette smoke. I made a comment to dd as I took her coat off and she ays that she has seen the cm's dh smoking in the house ocassionally during the day.

Didn't even realise either of them were smokers. Think my mind is made up and I just have to try and sort the holidays out now.

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galaxy · 02/01/2007 21:56

Well she was apparently perfectly well-behaved, loved her lunch (made a big thing of it being healthy)! She played with the 2 other children and seemed to enjoy herself but her opening words when dh brought her home were " the tv was on all day again"!

She's back at school from next Wednesday so I think I'll wait and see how things go from then on. Worked out that over Easter she is off for 4 weeks which will be a big problem to try and get cover for the 2 weeks over and above state school holidays. Can get holiday club for the main 2 weeks.

Argh!!!

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ThePrisoner · 02/01/2007 20:48

So how did the day go? I suppose it would be a bit obvious if you sent your dd with some colouring pencils of her own!!!

galaxy · 02/01/2007 11:14

Whilst dd was getting ready this morning to go to the Childminders, she said "Mummy, I wont tell xx that you are sending me with a lunchbox so I can eat healty food and that she should turn the TV off as that may hurt her feelings. But I will ask her if I can do some colouring today but I don't think she has any pencils"

Oops! I think she may have been eavesdropping!

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galaxy · 01/01/2007 20:25

Thanks for your comments ThePrisoner. dd goes back tomorrow and I've already decided to send her with a lunch-box instead of having the minder's lunch (which is usually sausage rolls, crisps and the like). Think I may have offended her by texting that she'd be bringing a lunch box as we're trying to get her to eat more healthy food to see if it helps her bahaviour.

I'm going to make a point of asking dd exactly what she's done every day and then think about what to do. Also need to talk to work before I make any decisions to see how they feel about me having dd at home on days I'm working from home in the school holidays.

She's been an angel for the last 2 days and took great pleasure in going shopping for healthy food for her lunchbox yesterday.

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ThePrisoner · 31/12/2006 20:20

I think that nannynick is being very kind about your childminder. I am a little less charitable.

Only producing one picture in 4 months is, to be honest, quite unbelievable - I assume that your dd enjoys doing art/craft and isn't refusing to do it. My mindees don't take something home every day, but we will have certainly done more than watch TV. She may enjoy watching it, but watching it all day must have an impact on behaviour.

I am also one of those minders who doesn't charge for bank holidays but, as you probably realise, we all work differently.

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