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Original poster

Would you think this was reasonable?

57 replies

Bluebear · 29/12/2006 20:08

I'm a bit upset with our nanny and trying to work out if I'm justified.

I work in a hospital and have to work between Xmas and new year (in fact also had to work at weekend this year but dh looked after kids). Dh also had to work (but from home as his job is computer based). Our nanny was aware that we needed her to work these 3 days months ago.
As well as having a lot of whinging from last week onwards (can't dh look after the children because he is in the house - um..no) I have found that for the last 2 days she has picked up my children from my house and simply driven them to her mother's house where they sat ' watching tv and eating lots' (quoted by 5 year old ds).
If she had asked about taking them home with her I might have said yes but I am really cross that she didn't ask - and yesterday when I asked where she and dd had been (since dh knew that they hadn't been at home) she was very evasive and didn't answer.
She also took dd and her ds to a soft play centre yesterday pm along with her dp who I know has a minor criminal record (she told me a while back).
To top it all, dd's hair smells of stale cigerette smoke which I guessing is from nanny's mum's house.

I can sort of see the - but it's christmas, kids should be watching tv and eating lots - but why not in their own house!

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NurseyJo · 30/12/2006 10:23

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Original poster
Bluebear · 30/12/2006 10:09

So I've just had breakfast with the kids and they were asking for 'tea with sugar in' It seems that they have also been given cups of tea at nanny's mums. I'm now too upset to be cross.

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LittleMissPopular · 30/12/2006 00:14

OMG that is out of order.

I am a nanny and would NEVER do that or even consider putting a child in a smokey enviroment.

I have it in my contract that i dont work between xmas and new year but i would still work it if the parents had to.

the fact is your nanny knew she had to work this period and shouldnt have done what she did.

she would have had more than plenty of new things to do with the children after christmas, as you said , new bikes, could have gone on those for fresh air and played games , watched xmas film together etc.

Your totally justified in acting the way you have imo

Original poster
Bluebear · 29/12/2006 21:34

Thanks Nannynick - I really appreciate having some nanny point of views.

You are quite right, I would have been happy if she'd taken dd to the post office or even shopping in the sales.
They got new bikes for xmas and I was hoping that they would be able to spend time in the park on them, dd got a little time on weds but none for the last 2 days.

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Original poster
Bluebear · 29/12/2006 21:28

Thanks nannyjo - I'm a bit calmer now - dh is going to 'have a word' with her Tues morning - this comes after I had to 'have a word' about her reliability ( turning up late and asking for leave at very short notice several times) A written warning is a good idea. Dh is of the opinion that we should look for replacement childcare in the new year

Any other opinions?

OP posts:
nannynick · 29/12/2006 21:26

You are fully justified in being upset with your nanny.

Nanny knew she had to work these days months ago, so should have prepared better.

Being Christmas your children probably had plenty of new toys to play with at home, so going out should have been for exercise purposes, not TV watching.

I'm sure I sometimes do things that my employers would rather I didn't... but they know that I always put the children first. Sure I may need to do a few errands, otherwise my home-life falls apart and working 50+ hours per week makes it hard to me to do some things not in work time. But I do things like popping to the post office, letting the builder in, not sitting around all day at my mums house letting the children watch TV.

The Nanny Employer relationship involves a bit of give and take... a few compromises now and again. You need to talk with your nanny about how you are feeling, and make it clear if there are things you don't want her doing - such as children being in a smoky environment, your dd being with her dp.

nannyj · 29/12/2006 21:11

I think you are justified in feeling angry. I would never do this in my job as would probably get the sack. She's well out of order in my opinion. I can understand her wanting the days off but if you have told her well in advance then if she wasn't happy she should have told you so and not sulked. I personally would give her a written warning so she knows how serious the situation is and doesn't do it again.