Au pair over using car

Surely retrospectively you can't change this? I'd be very upset in your ap's shoes. To
Her the trips are reasonable. My ap has done 5000km in 6 months. That's her choice. We even pay some fuel. If she does her job well, is reliable, pleasant.. Then just remember for next time to stipulate not over X km per week etc. I'm guessing you stipulated they couldn't use the car to travel on holidays? Our ap just got back from a trio
To Sydney. 3500 kms later. Hey ho she had a good time. The world moves on.

Can you get petrol for 10 a mile? I would say actual petrol likely to cost more like 20-25 unless you have the world's most efficient car and that's without the extra servicing/depreciation.

Sorry do yes o would think that what she is doing is within reason.

I also suspect that she has just arrived and wants to do some sightseeing etc and discover the country?
Remember you would hate it if she was staying at home all day....

1000miles a month isn't that much tbh.
That's about what I do with my car and I only do school stuff, going to work (7 miles away) and a few day trip at the weekend.

You have found out soon enough. It's not as if she's already clocked 100 miles on it.
There's still time to clarify what "within reason" means.

I think if you tell her that going forward you would like her to pay X for miles over what you consider reasonable then she cant really argue

I'd use the insurance limit as the "within reason" limit.
And stop at that. She will have to manage her trips to account for that mileage, or stop using the car for anything other than ferrying the children when it reaches a mileage of X (deduct mileage attributable to her work as AP).

I think her mileage is very high and I would be tempted to allow her the car for local journeys only - though I know it's too late to change it so dramatically for this au pair.

Personally I'd rather limit the mileage or use rather than charge.

1,200 miles a month is not anywhere near reasonable!

Isn't the average about half that.

I'd be capping her much lower.

I can only do 10,000 miles a year or pay more for my services - I generally only do 7000 a year so what she has done is a lot. But I agree that you'll have to suck it up retrospectively and from now on either put a limit or charge an amount extra per mile.

You are both to blame. You didn't state a maximum mileage but does seem a bit excessive to travel the distances you said

I assume this is during the weekend/her time off?

It's good she goes out and about

I can easily do 300 a week just pottering about locally

What Karoleann says.

We've had au pairs for the last several years and it's really important to bear in mind that 'reasonable' means different things to different people. You have to be prepared to be very specific.

I don't for a minute think you just have to accept the situation as it is for the rest of the time she is here but I would approach the conversation by saying you're sorry there has a been a misunderstanding - the other ap's you've had just happened to have similar ideas to you about car useage and you should have been more detailed. And then just be very specific about what is okay for you and what is not. Maximum monthly milage is a good idea because you are not saying: you can't go here with your friends as such.

OP - you have defined it, you've put 'within reason' and 1,200 miles per month is not within reason as it falls outside the insurance banding mileage limit.
Our au pair has her own car, but she's only done around 3,000 miles in the last 12 months.

Depending on how far the school commute is I would put a maximum monthly mileage of whatever your maximum mileage limit is for your current insurance and then divide by 12 and forget about the 10p per mile extra. At this rate you're going to be buying a new car when she leaves. Our au pairs get the train if they are going somewhere far away.

theres always one..

That disagrees with you? That misses an update? I would imagine there are always a fair few!

Fwiw I would never drive to Brighton as the parking is a nightmare and very expensive.

With all those trips is she actually there to do the job? I used to live in Portsmouth and MIL is in Oxford...I know those roads well! I think she sounds like she is having a jolly jape at your expense!

lightbulbon she's not doing her host family a favour by doing the school runs, it's part of the agreement for her being their au pair. Part of what they are paying her for.

Ironically I was talking to my husband about car depreciation today. 150 miles in your neck of the woods seems excessive.

Somehow missed your posts about increasing insurance for increased miles, but I still think it's mean!

I think you're being exceptionally mean! She's paying for her own petrol. Isnt the insurance the same whether she does 40 miles or 240 a week. Just sounds unfair, controlling and a little precious to me.

I think if you've given her use of a car as part of her deal and she pays for her petrol I think you're being unfair charging her extra.

Lots of au pairs don't/can't drive so she's a good one to keep, doing runs for you. The car is also getting her out and about no doubt giving you all peace and privacy in your home.

Happy au pair = happy dcs!

Portsmouth to Oxford? Plus two friends staying? She's onto a good thing. When does she actually do the au pair thing?

Thinking about giving her a weekly mileage over and above what I use, say 100 miles a week on top of school runs, then ask her to contribute to costs if she goes over, does that sound like a decent compromise?
Yes it does to me. Treating an au pair as part of the family only goes so far in my view.

I think she should get the train for that journey, then. You're giving her the car to do her job, not to go on day trips.