Mother's helper? Nanny? Or au pair?

Get a cleaner who will put on some washing as well

Then find a good babysitter and book them once / twice a week for you to go out in eve if dh never there - get some sanity back in your life

Daytime I don't think you need childcare help as are out and about plus 2yr in nursery some of the time

Get an au pair, it's great. Just be clear about what you want and the sort of person you want i.e. Be clear you want someone to cook supper and eat when you X nights per week, think about your babysitting needs, do you want them to hang out with you on the sofa? Do you want them to be able to cook ? Do fun stuff with the 2 yr old when baby arrives? Etc ... If you think about your ideal set up and ideal timetable and write it all down. When people apply , send them this additional info with your expectations / wants and timetable. In my experience, the more you lay out what you expect and how you live, the better it is for everyone. Some au pairs are totally independent and will be out the moment they are not working and others are home birds who will seemingly never leave, some will never leave their room of an evening but that can also be a bit miserable if you would like some company etc. I think it's a lot about matching as different au pairs will totally suit different families and different au pairs can be suitable for your family at different times. Currently I have an au pair who is an amazing cook so we have lovely meals now but I basically don't see when she isn't working! It's totally worth having an au pair as cost wise, it it is very reasonable - but it works for the au pair too as they get somewhere to live and bills and food all paid for as well as their pocket money . I won't say living with another adult who also works for you will always be plain sailing but by and large I've had hugely positive experiences.

As you would be around and need an extra hand. I would look at an au pair maybe at least on their second job as your oldest is still quite young. Or a mothers help so which may be an ex nursery worker or an experienced au pair who wants to keep on in childcare. If you need help as well with household stuff most nannies won't do thay side and will only stick to childcare.

I got an au pair as I don't have much family around and have a 5, 4 yo and 10 month old and study part time. I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. It's a bit of an adjustment living with someone else, but having the extra help is a godsend. It's nice to have other company but I will say it doesn't replace having adult conversation with other mothers or friends. I would seriously think about it as I wasn't sure and spend months looking into it and now I can't imagine not having one. I am doing 3 school trips a day!

If I were you I'd start off with a postnatal doula or a mothers help. And then get yourself to some groups or gym etc to meet people.