Mother's helper? Nanny? Or au pair?

I am a nanny. Mothers helpers are classed as childcare help whilst the parent is in the house during their work hours. They can be asked to muck in with household chores, cooking and errands. They are not usually experienced enough to be sole charge. Au pairs are employed for fewer hours with less experience, on a much lower pay scale as they generally have little or less experience. Nannies should be experienced 2 years plus sole charge minimum. They are required to do full days and longer hours with more responsibility. You can expect some home help with childrens laundry and cooking but not general housekeeping work. Again all of above should have current first aid, dbs or pvg security checks and checkable references.

THe trouble with these informal arrangements is, all you would need is one nutter who decided she didn't like something about you/it, even though she'd agreed to it. If she reported the parents, and claimed she'd been hired as a nanny, they could be liable for back pay and tax, plus a fine, plus God knows what if they broke the law from an immigration standpoint. So- it' really is better to inform yourself of what is actually correct in the country' you're in. In any case - people reading this should all HMRC/Home Office and not even take our word for it...

A few years ago there was a mum on here whose au pair went to Citizen's Advice to query their arrangement. It was fine in the end but very stressful.

Yeah I saw. It's a joke. The value of rent is worth far more and you push people into breaking the law with such stupid rules. My sister lived rent free in London when she first moved there in exchange for getting a child to school and evening babysitting. Saved my sister from paying £400 a month, the cost of food and utilities.

To be fair, I don't know how employers offering 'unpaid' internships in business manage this - but these positions exist. It's an interesting question but I wouldn't advise mothers out there to try to manage their childcare needs on a similar arrangement.

There is a college that offers childcare training near us and they did have a scheme where the student could come and 'train' with you, unpaid, but it was very prescribed. You had to be there and they had a lot of control over the hours, days, amount of time etc.

want2b - not any longer in the UK, it used to be up until a couple of years ago, but then the law was tightened to prevent people taking the mickey.
OVienna's post link explains it and if you google au pairs and government, that explains the situation for au pairs.

For the UK, best to follow this advice:

underneaththeash Tue 14-Feb-17 10:13:52

mrsshod - I think Brits are up tight about it as its not legal.
There is no basis in English law (and you may even fall fowl of anti-slavery legislation) for someone working for you without pay, even if they are happy it with situation. The must either be an employee, i which case you must minimum wage minus the acomadation onset, or an au pair and you have to pay "reasonable pocket money".

Incidentally we do have au pairs and they're great, but we make sure they are paid.

These are the rules in the UK on salary offset for accommodation:

www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage-accommodation/rates

underneath It's legal. It's called payment in kind and the 'rent' is considered salary.

Oh dammit. First time I've fallen foul of a zombie thread

I took a job working for a SAHM 4.5 years ago. Just 8hrs a week. But it slowly became more hours, until it became my full time job when she had her second baby.

Hand on heart, it was my favourite position I've ever had. I'd totally forgotten what it was like to work alongside another adult and her parenting approach, while complimenting my nannying style, taught me to consider a totally different approach that I still apply today. We're firm friends now, even though she's moved out of London, I owe her so much.

So what I'm saying is - go for a nanny! It could end up being a wonderful experience for you both

mrsshod - I think Brits are up tight about it as its not legal.
There is no basis in English law (and you may even fall fowl of anti-slavery legislation) for someone working for you without pay, even if they are happy it with situation. The must either be an employee, i which case you must minimum wage minus the acomadation onset, or an au pair and you have to pay "reasonable pocket money".

Incidentally we do have au pairs and they're great, but we make sure they are paid.

I see that this was last year, but I wonder what you opted for in the end? My friend has a German student living with them every year, and they help in the house, and mainly with childcare. My friend says her and other half obviously worried about having someone living with them, but since doing it once, it's been repeated three or four times I think, and they've never looked back.
It works really well, my friend is so much less stressed out, the kids do great, and one of the students has even asked if she could come back next year and live with them rent free and work for the rent, if you see what I mean. It apparently just a normal 'thing' in Germany, but we're all a bit nervous about it here. Such up-tight Brits!!
I hope you got your situated sorted.

We had a live-out nanny until last summer and like the PP I was wary of having a "stranger" living with us. But DH moved overseas (he hasn't abandoned us, just gone early!) and I really love having her around and having another grown up in the house.

Another vote for Au Pair World . com website - we found our wonderful au pair through it in December and she started in January. I luffs her.

Be prepared to be inundated with responses though - I think we had 80 in the first 2 days

I was in similar situation but with some older children requiring lifts to and from friends and activities. I was v stressed and never actually got the help I needed at the time but do thankfully have it now! I have a wonderful nanny/babysitter who is a student with some childcare experience, very kind and sensible as well as trust worthy. So now I just use her as and when I need her, a few hours here or there to look after my 3 year old when she's not at nursery, one school pick up and after school care for my older children, babysitting, school holiday childcare. She is totally flexible and lovely, I call her my angel. Personally I'd hate a live in au pair as I don't want anyone in my house full time! This way I have the flexibility I need. It's also much cheaper than paying a qualified nanny.

Your situation is very similar to my own. I have a baby due in April and I work from home. My other children are older though, and I tend to do most of my work when they are at school, but obviously things will be a bit different once the baby arrives!

I also felt that I just needed an extra pair of hands during the day so that I could still get some work done or a bit of housework. After exploring the option of a Nanny, Mother's help and Au Pair we have gone for the Au pair!

We are really excited about having someone to stay and I must admit that although I love my job, I miss company during the day so it will be great to have someone else in the house. She will also do light housework if I am feeding the baby or the baby is asleep.

I have used AuPair world and found a fabulous Au Pair who is 23, has qualified as a kindergarten teacher and has already stayed away from home. She also has experience with older children

After lots of messaging and some Skype calls, I feel like we have found the right fit and I am hoping this will work out well. It is so good to hear others recommending an Au Pair as it also helps me feel that we have made the right choice!

Good luck with your decision!

If you can afford it, go with an agency. There is a BAPPA website that will give you a list of all the available agencies. I used Pebbles. The staff are really friendly and the one girl I dealt with remembered who I was every time I called. Its a personal service which some people may not like but it was perfect for me.

i would say a mh/trainee nanny is what you need

another pair of hands 3-7 would be handy

help with tea bath and bed and put some washing on etc

Ap often only work 5 hrs a day usually pre /after school for Older children so they may study daytime

They are also likely to be out if not on duty so you may not have their company in evenings

What time does dh get back roughly?

Get a cat or dog :)