How much childcare do grandparents do?

Mrs I think it depends how you view it, I think if people are looking after my DC I have a right to say things I want/don't want and if they don't like it, they can say no and I can take him somewhere else. My parents are great with him, they don't force advice or get awkward if I disagree with something.

I'd personally rather have family look after DC because they're more likely to be similar to me than a stranger!

I don't treat them like a nanny, they're free to say "no I'm busy that day" but they like doing it and I'm happy with it.

Different things work for different people

I'm glad it worked out for you.

I personally felt bad dictating to her how she should spend her day given I was getting free childcare and so decided to just pay for it instead.

My MIL is an absolute diamond and has helped me immeasurably in numerous ways both before and after we had kids - and that is why I feel uncomfortable treating her like a childminder/nanny.

eventually they will feel they are entitled to an opinion of some sort or they will do something in a way that isn't 100% how you'd do it and you will have to make a compromise. It's not like dropping them off at childcare and paying for a service. It's a favour.

It really isn't like that. My GPs never did it, I can't see my parents doing it because they're not like that. And if they did something I didn't like I'd be fine telling them and they wouldn't do it again because we all respect each other.

My GPs also look after my DC and they don't do it either!

Anyway childcare wouldn't do something that is 100% how you would anyway?

I'm sorry you had a bad experience with GPs but not everyone is like that

Even if you think it's no strings now (and of course GPs don't look after DCs just to enable them to stick their oar in) if you expect free childcare eventually they will feel they are entitled to an opinion of some sort or they will do something in a way that isn't 100% how you'd do it and you will have to make a compromise. It's not like dropping them off at childcare and paying for a service. It's a favour.

I'm a grandparent and look after my 5 year old 4 days a week. I take him to school and collect him and have him through the holidays.
I'm also a childminder so look after other children too.

Not saying this to make others feel worse about not getting help, but it's not fair to suggest that GPs only help because it enables them to butt in where their opinions aren't wanted. Some just do it because they love their kids and grand-kids

I agree

Don't be envious - it's never no- strings.

Mine is. My parents respect my way of doing things and never force opinions on me or DS and don't expect anything back.

Shrug. Not all GPs are rude

Don't be envious - it's never no- strings.

Actually, that's not fair - GPs do sometimes offer help without strings attached. My amazing mum and dad moved across the country to be near us and dd. They pick her up from school twice a week, help get her to activities and do other ad hoc stuff when it's needed. They never interfere, only offer advice if I ask for it and follow our lead on how to handle stuff with dd. I know I'm really lucky and I'm immensely grateful for this.

Not saying this to make others feel worse about not getting help, but it's not fair to suggest that GPs only help because it enables them to butt in where their opinions aren't wanted. Some just do it because they love their kids and grand-kids.

Is she working and it has been agreed that MIL will mind them? Or is she just leaving them there to do nothing?

MIL needs to stand up for herself tbh.

Don't be envious - it's never no- strings.

Makes me shudder in here reading about all the GPs forcing their parenting opinions on people.

I stopped using GPs for childcare and paid for an extra day in nursery instead as my when my MIL looked after my DS she wound adhere to my SIL's "way of doing things" (I.e her own daughter) not mine (we had babies within weeks of each other).

I knew it wasn't fair to insist she did things "my way" if I was getting free childcare. I liked to stick to a semi regular nap schedule so my evenings were predictable rather than get home to a hysterical baby that had been carted around not napping all day (my SIL is anti routine) so now MIL comes to see DS on a purely social basis when I'm around so what I say goes.

My PIL do no childcare or babysitting of any kind despite living very close (their choice) and as such have little to no relationship with my DC. They don´t spend any time with any of their 8 GC and so probably no-one will visit them in their care home later

My own parents live over 300 miles away and we tend to visit for half terms etc. They will always babysit so DH and I can go out for a meal and they are both great at getting up and giving the kids brekkie so we can have a lie-in. For the first time last summer eldest DC went up for a few days on their own and the two oldest are going up this coming year.

My DP and PIL are all 68 and in reasonable health. I must admit I am a little envious of those with on-tap childcare/babysitting.

My children are 8, 6 and 14mo. Neither my mother or MIL have ever babysat any one of them, or ever spent anytime alone with them. They both live within a ten mile radius. They see the dcs if me or DH sort a visit, but we're always present too. Neither of them have any inclination to want to, we've never pushed it. It makes me quite sad TBH, I think it would be lovely for the dcs to have that true extended family security and warmth.

OP it's not fair for your sister in law to force it on you lot! We live in a joint family too but I don't just assume someone can look after my DS I always ask

My parents look after DS a few times a week, I moved back in with them (domestic violence) after leaving DSs dad so they help a lot.

Other side don't do anything were NC

My children don't need caring for any more, but when they were very small we could rely on my stepmother (who was in her late 50s) to have one or both of them for a day and night or two at a push. But we had to drive them there and back (60 miles each way).

From age 6ish they went to stay with my pil for 3 days in the summer holidays, for about 5 or 6 years. That arrangement has now come to an end. They live 100 miles away.

My mum babysat for us once when she was up staying. She lives 75 miles away.

Day to day childcare? none. Unsurprisingly.

My GP - none, only 2 left when DC were born, one chose to move to the other end of the country near her DD, the other was crazy (I spent loads of time with her growing up) but whilst she would 'help' my DM I wouldn't have given her sole care

My DP, loads my mum was an old fashioned housewife and n her early 50s when DC were born, she was quite clear that she wouldn't be my childcare (I worked full time) but was happy to cover the nanny's holidays etc plus weekends, evenings if needed. She is local and great. DF not so much as he worked full time then and didn't really do babies. My DC are now grown up but my parents are still there for them, offering lifts, watching over them when I go away without them. I also have young DNephews as DB is considerably younger than me, both DP help out with them too still despite now being in their 70s, they will do overnights and often have just one over for the day to give SIL a break as there are 3 of them and they fight. DDad is in his element with the boys and now he is retired has plenty of time for them.

My PIL were also in their mid 50s when my DC were born and both had full time jobs, they loved weekend sleepovers though, which was perfect for me and having a social life.

They now have also retired and have 4 more GC who they do loads for, roughly 2-3 full days childcare each week including overnights for both their other children.

We all know that we are very lucky.

I'm assuming you mean my DC's grandparents since mine were all dead before they were born.

When my DC were younger my ILs (their grandparents) would generally look after them one day a week though since i work from home it was normally a 10-3pm day. I felt it gave them bonding time and they had a very close relationship because of it.

Now the DC are older MIL will babysit for the odd night or two (FIL died a few years ago) and if we're stuck she'll pick them up from school. When she does that i make sure there's always a meal ready for them all.

My own parents (who live about an hour away) don't do much as my dad is not very mobile.

My grandparents - all dead
DH grandparents - also dead
My parents - none
DH parents - none

My MIL did look after them once for about six hours while I was in hospital having DC3 though. They were both in bed asleep the whole time and DH was home before they woke up in the morning. This was now over seven years ago. When I had dc2 a neighbour looked after dc1 for us.

My mother in law had my ds for a few hours this morning while I was at a meeting as he was unexpectedly not well enough for nursery. She lives near by and is retired and was happy to help (ds cheerful enough just contagious).
We would have totally understood if she was busy though.

We're really lucky.

Both my parents and MIL have looked after our 3dc for a day per week while I worked. They also will have them at weekends/overnight if we ask (only do this once every couple of months though). They sometimes ask/offer to have them too.

We don't expect anything from them but it is very much appreciated.

I'm going to assume you mean our parents, rather than our grandparents, otherwise it's quite an odd question.

Noe of my dcs' grandparents did any 'childcare'.
When my parents were alive they'd look after one of mine if I had to take another on e to an appt, or my Mum would occasionally babysit. In-laws would very occasionally babysit, but I read 'childcare' as "looking after the dc whilst I go to work", and if that's what you mean, then we paid people to do this for us.

I used to spend more time at my Nannas than home, I used to get dropped at hers at six am and picked up six in the evening, and stayed over few nights a week.

My son is looked after by my dad once every few months while I go out. It's usually once every six months thinking about it, my birthday in June and work Christmas do. Other than that never , if he sees grandparents I'm usually with him as just visiting.