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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Am i the only one mystified why nannies do this?

37 replies

balancingact · 18/12/2006 10:05

Maybe i shouldn't generalise, but it's my impression that nannies, within a few days of knowing other nannies, start talking about their salaries. I don't know if it's a case of one upmanship amongst them, but my view is if you've taken a job, then you are clearly happy with the offer so what does it matter what your next door nanny makes? clearly, they would have had a feel for the market rates when they were interviewing anyway? I just find it so strange as i would never dream of discussing my salary with anyone at the office or even with my friends - i just feel it's no one's business.
No point to the post - just random musing in the run-up to Christmas!!
I just wonder if there are employers who get the "the nanny next door gets this and she works less hours" chats....

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SueW · 20/12/2006 09:39

I must be un-British since talking money doesn't bother me.

More likely it's having spent the first 10 years of my working life in retail banking and being intimately acquainted with people's accounts, how much they earned, how they spent it, how often and how much they withdrew across the counter. With co-workers you knew which grade they were and therefore what band of salary they were within and you saw the listing each month of how much every member of staff was having paid net into their account.

It bothers me where I work now that people don't discuss money - there's no way to gauge whether I am being underpaid for the job I do.

uwila · 20/12/2006 08:39

I think British nannies do this. My nanny seems to know what all her nanny friends make, and I'm sure they all know what she makes as well.

wethreebobkings · 20/12/2006 08:26

Are these overseas nannies - I notice here (NZ) that people are more open about what they earn, so maybe it's just what's normal for them?

People can pretty much tell what I earn (music teacher) by multiplying what they pay me by the number of pupils at my end of year concert. I do feel a little funny about that in a probably entirely British, ex-office worker sort of way, because I was banned from telling my salary to anyone in all my office jobs.

uwila · 20/12/2006 07:58

Remind her what her gross wage is. Never talk about net. When I talk about my salary (which is usually to someone like my DH) I don't quote the take-home amount. I talk about my pre tax salary.

Also remind her that she is covered for SSP and maternity pay should she ever need them.

Bluebear · 19/12/2006 22:02

She doesn't so much as moan as tell me what her friends are getting paid - she gets paid more than most so has no cause for complaint.
LOL at me not being her mum - feel like it at times, but that's just her personality vs mine.

She also tells me when other mums have approached her in the school playground and asked if she was looking for another job - but she hasn't left me yet!

nannyj · 19/12/2006 21:42

I think it's a bit off of your nanny to complain to you about money. If she's not happy then she should work elsewhere. She is very lucky to be getting ALL her tax and NI paid. I know loads of nannies that don't get all of their wages declared. Next time she says anything just point out that she has no fallback if anything goes wrong. Your not her mother, i think its a bit lacking in respect to be honest.

Bluebear · 19/12/2006 18:05

Actually - back to my whinge - what I mean is that my nanny only sees the money that goes into her bank account so she is comparing that to her friends (who don't get their tax etc paid) and can say 'I get 80pounds a day (or whatever, not sure of daily rate)' but my friend gets 85 pounds and feel herself hard done by.
Whereas in fact, my nanny gets her taxes and NI paid and has all the protection that that entails, and her friend has no right to benefits or paid holiday and could be out of a job with no notice. (friends tend not to have contracts either).

End of whinge....back to niggling worries about childcare

Bluebear · 19/12/2006 18:01

Y'know I had a bit of a nanny related childcare dilemma this morning and I was thinking through my options I found myself thinking......

Now What Would Uwila Do?

Bluebear · 19/12/2006 18:00

Of course I don't pay her net Uwila!!!!

hoxohoxohoxo · 19/12/2006 11:59

OOOOOOOOOeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr, get her!!!

uwila · 19/12/2006 08:39

Shut up, Oxo, if you want any more help from me.

hoxohoxohoxo · 19/12/2006 08:14

Oh Oh, run for your life Bluebear. Thta's Uwila's touch paper........

uwila · 19/12/2006 07:54

Bluebear, you don't pay her in net, do you?

Bluebear · 18/12/2006 21:46

Bunsen - as well as sharingcare (which I have found useful but I'm in London too), there is thenannysharers.co.uk and you could put an advert on your local netmums.co.uk childcare board - and you could post a thread on mumsnet too.
Don't know what your local rates are but there is a chart on nannyjob.co.uk with some guideline salaries I think.

Back to the original post - I know my nanny knows the salaries of her friends and most of them are below what she's on (she is more qualified than most)..but she is the only one that has her tax and NI paid! I find it annoying that the salary comparisons are made when if I want to increase my nanny's salary it's almost twice the net amount once I've paid the tax and NI.

mogs0 · 18/12/2006 21:40

bunsen- there's a site called www.sharingcare.co.uk I'm not sure which parts of the country they cover as I've only ever looked at the London stuff!

As for talking about salaries, with friends I am quite open about what I earn. However, I have an ex-employer who I see every now and again who is always asking how much I earn, how much rent I pay, how much state benefits I get? I do find that very intrusive as I wouldn't ever dream of asking how much her mortgage is or how much her husband's bonus was for the year. If you're willing to volunteer the info yourself then fair enough but I wouldn't ever ask.

Having been a childcarer (nanny and now CM) for 10 years I have never over-inflating my salary to impress others and as far as I'm aware I don't know any nannies that have. I do know other proffesionals though that do this and if it makes them happy then carry on!!

NannyL · 18/12/2006 21:20

i do not discuss salaries with any of my nanny friends and never have!

bunsen · 18/12/2006 19:18

How much is a nanny per week? I live in Leeds, also does anyone know of any sites where you can share a nanny with others requiring child care locally?
Thanks

mousiemousie · 18/12/2006 16:40

surely to goodness can I stop saying surely

mousiemousie · 18/12/2006 16:39

It's pretty obvious that you would want to know the going rate for your job isn't it? And nannies should be able to negotiate pay rises same as everyone else, surely?

Clearly as you are the employer you are not going to be particularly happy about it but such is the dynamic of employer/employee relationships, surely?

Original poster

balancingact · 18/12/2006 16:28

well, when you ask a plumber for a quote, you are not asking him what his salary is, you are asking what you need to pay for a service he is doing for you. So that's not really analagous.
but granted, i have only ever worked in an office environment so it's the only experience i have - and hence my assumption that people don't talk about their salaries.
bluejelly, am pleased your employers did right by you - so from that perspective, i can see why it's good nannies are open about what you make.

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colditz · 18/12/2006 16:06

They do that "Hsssss" thing with their teeth instead, LOL!

colditz · 18/12/2006 16:05

it's only people in office jobs who are shifty about money. You don't get plumbers saying "Gosh, i can't tell you that, how rude of yu to ask!" when you ask them for a quote!

bluejelly · 18/12/2006 16:02

It's only by discussing these things that you can find out if you are being underpaid or not. I did earlier this year and found out taht I was being £2k less than the recommended minimum for someone of my experience. I complained to my bosses and my salary was put up ( and backdated)
If I didn't know what others were earning then I would've continued to have been underpaid

ThePrisoner · 18/12/2006 14:43

Childminders always discuss what their hourly rates are! I guess it ensures that we all know what the general rate is locally and keeps everyone on a fairly even keel.

Caroligula · 18/12/2006 14:06

Probably because unlike in an office, there isn't a taboo about it and the only way you know whether you're being underpaid, is by finding out what your peers are earning.

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