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Original poster

Help - Calling all nannies/nanny employers

34 replies

Borninthe60s · 16/11/2015 22:33

I'm a nanny. Started new job six weeks ago.

Today my best friends dad died. I've known her 28 years, we are like sisters. I rang mum from her house and asked could I take baby (under one year) to my friends house and explained circumstances. She agreed but I got the impression she wasn't too happy. (My friend lives in town 20 miles away where mums older 2 children go to school).

Spent a couple of hours with my friend and collected older children from school and took them back home.

When mum came home from work I thanked her and explained funeral likely to be early next week and I'd like to attend. I proposed that I attend and take baby along with my mum so that during the service my mum can take baby a walk in pram. (Max 30 mins). This will cause minimum disruption presuming funeral is during school hours. If it's after school I'll not attend.

Can I have people's honest opinions from both sides of the fence about this please?

OP posts:
whois · 17/11/2015 15:33

I would have expected you to ask for the day off!

Mum sounds like a bitch if she said she hops it not on her day. Some things you just don't say.

wickedwaterwitch · 17/11/2015 15:25

I'd have said thank you to you for still being able to cover my childcare

You could easily have said "I need the day off"

so YANBU (I've employed nannies)

Original poster
Borninthe60s · 17/11/2015 15:15

Thanks for the replies. I felt she showed a lack of compassion/understanding too.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 17/11/2015 08:42

Sadly compassionate leave is only immediate family so your friends dad wouldn't come under that

But you are not asking for day off - you have offered a fine solution in my eyes. You get to go to funeral and support (tho may need more than 30mins) and baby gets looked after and parents not disrupted

I would personally try and take day off - when my mum died last year the support of my DF and best friends was much needed - tho understand it may not be possible - sounds like mb isn't that flexible /compassionate

And no I wouldn't offer lower hourly rate if your mum has baby

Pico2 · 17/11/2015 00:20

That's pretty insensitive. If you care enough about someone to go to their funeral then her hoping the funeral doesn't 'hit one of her days' doesn't need to be said, even if she thinks it.

Original poster
Borninthe60s · 16/11/2015 22:54

Pico - no she hasn't said I can't go but did say she hoped it was Wednesday (when I nanny for another family).

Would you expect to pay full hourly rate (ie: if baby with my mum for 30 mins). I was wondering if I should offer a discount for this afternoon but baby was still in my care.

OP posts:
elelfrance · 16/11/2015 22:44

Nanny employer here too, and if i could, i'd tell you to take the morning off also... if i hadn't any other childcare options then i'd have no issue with you taking baby along

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 16/11/2015 22:38

I'm a nanny employer and this would be totally fine with me although tbh I'd probably just give you the morning off (I do have a flexible job though!!).

Pico2 · 16/11/2015 22:38

Has she said it isn't ok for you to go?