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Original poster

Family time with au-pair

32 replies

kebek · 22/09/2015 21:25

We have a great au pair who has already made life so much easier - except..... She really hangs around in the evening.
She has her room and I've said the playroom with a TV and sofa can be hers and hers alone in the evening, but right now she's reading in the kitchen where my DH is working.
I've emphasised the second sitting room but she says "no, it's fine", but it's not fine with us, we'd like some time alone in the evening.
I'd feel heartbroken if I upset her so don't know how to say when she finishes work she goes to her room or the second sitting room.

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MrsLeighHalfpenny · 22/09/2015 21:47

Why don't you and DH go in another room then? Whilst she's in your house it's her home too, and expecting her to sit in a room on her own all evening is really mean.
How would you feel if you were in a foreign country and the family made you sit on your own all night?

It sounds to me as if an au pair is not for you OP.

pukkapine · 22/09/2015 21:46

and AliMonkey is right - best thing you can do is get her social life up and running - but still she should be able to chill and watch telly ir whatever with the family. Only very very rarely did we ask any of our au pairs for some space.

pukkapine · 22/09/2015 21:44

agree with the others - she IS family whilst she's here and should be welcome with you most evenings... I've an au pair veteran so know how it can be, but it really is best for everyone. And if you can't handle it, it's not the right childcare option for you. Poor girl.

AliMonkey · 22/09/2015 21:43

Never had an au pair partly for that reason - wouldn't want an extra family member hanging around. Having said that, it would be reasonable to expect to have some time alone eg a couple of evenings a week. Perhaps you need to encourage her to get a social life so she sometimes goes out in the evenings?

Original poster
kebek · 22/09/2015 21:43

I think we really have bent over backwards to make her feel part of the family. But once the kids have gone to bed I'd like to be able to sit down and have a conversation with DH.

OP posts:
MrsLeighHalfpenny · 22/09/2015 21:37

The whole point of an au pair is that they become part of the family. If that's not what you want, I suggest you employ a nanny who goes home at night.

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 22/09/2015 21:34

When she finishes work she has to either go straight to her room or another sitting room? Yeah hearing that would be pretty upsetting.

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