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Original poster

a little uncomfortable with AP walking around in boxers

39 replies

finefatmama · 12/09/2015 20:49

AP (32) has been here for almost 2 weeks. DH says he's impressed with him and one of the boys has given positive feedback so far. I haven't been as comfortable with his age and motives and decided to give it time.

This morning he came and greeted me in the sitting room with a bit of a superman pose and a 5 second pause in his boxers before proceeding to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. Then he proceeded to join the boys in the bathroom to brush his teeth while they were taking a bath. DH was supervising the boys and doesn't think anything of it. No one in the house walks around like that and I don't want grown ups thinking it ok to be that cosy with other people's children around or encouraging a 'lets get comfy together in our boxers' atmosphere with my kids. Am I overreacting?

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TheDowagerCuntess · 12/09/2015 21:57

I haven't been as comfortable with his age and motives and decided to give it time.

I am gobsmacked, quite frankly.

How do you reconcile this ^^ with the care of your most treasured 'possessions'?

And I say this as someone who thinks au pair care is the best thing since sliced bread.

Out of all the people on planet earth who could look after your DC ... why would you choose someone whose age and motives you find dubious, for the job?

Girlfriend36 · 12/09/2015 21:55

No obviously not o.kay, am also thinking there is no way in the world i would have this man in my home.

Thisismyfirsttime · 12/09/2015 21:47

*generally after discussing it with him I meant.

Thisismyfirsttime · 12/09/2015 21:45

I can't get over the fact you have a 32 year old Czech builder as your AP! I want one just so I can tell random strangers and see their reactions! Grin
Assuming he has the relevant references etc I'd try speaking to him and explaining that you are uncomfortable with that level of familiarity and see if he cooperates. If you are uncomfortable with him looking after your DC's generally you should trust your instincts and get rid IMO.

Karoleann · 12/09/2015 21:31

Did he supply and police check and refs? He sounds dodgy, you have to err on the side of caution with anyone looking after your children, never mind someone living in your house.

AnnieNon · 12/09/2015 21:29

I don't think it's an issue at all unless he carries on doing it once you ask him to stop.

If he has lived somewhere hot then he might be used to wandering around in his boxers.

Everyone feels comfortable wandering around in boxers in my house. There is nothing wrong with asking him to stop doing it though.

Littlefish · 12/09/2015 21:17

I agree with Premin. You need to speak to him about being suitably dressed when he is not in his room.

If you do not feel comfortable with him, then do not leave your children alone with him.

Did you take up full references before he started with you?

Preminstreltension · 12/09/2015 21:10

Anyone who is not an immediate family member should be pretty much dressed in your house all the time (barring trips to shower room in pyjamas). And particularly an adult male who has clearly made you feel uncomfortable.

Original poster
finefatmama · 12/09/2015 21:02

He says he started out as a builder in the Czech Republic but it wasn't well paid so he went and worked in elderly care in Spain for a while and finally decided that he wanted to move to the UK. I didn't like the story but ds1 has been physically challenging so we decided to give it a go. I wasn't initially comfortable with the profile but DH thought it was worth a shot.

OP posts:
Vixxfacee · 12/09/2015 20:57

32 year ap? In boxers ? Forget that

winchester1 · 12/09/2015 20:55

Yh its his age I'm confused about boxers not so much.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 12/09/2015 20:53

A 32 year old au pair sounds dodgy even without the walking round and posing in boxers.

violetwellies · 12/09/2015 20:52

Not over reacting, it's not what you do in your house.
Tell him to get his kit on, you're not comfortable with it, so tell him.

Preminstreltension · 12/09/2015 20:51

Of course that's not right. This needs to be dealt with.