New au pair is soooo annoying!!

And how much are US au pairs paid?

1. Caring for a 1 and a 3 year old alone without parental supervison is totally within the US au pair regulations (AP can watch children older than 3 months without a parent present).
2. There is no "max. 30 hrs week" in the US - it's 45 hrs/week, no more than 10 hrs/day.
3. An au pair in the US is NOT a mothers help. It is a stand alone childcare resource - for up to 5 children (at least that used to be the max).

OP, you made a bad choice when picking an au pair.
It seems you didn't screen well - you cannot solely rely on the written application and references, that is why you need to cross all your ts and dot all your is in matching. You need to ask questions! Has she ever been in sole charge of a 1 and a 3 year old? What did she do? Nighttime babysitting will not be enough. A two-week internship in a daycare is not sufficient.
Being an AP is also not fancy. Neither is "see through lingere" appropriate when providing childcare.

It also seems you didn' coach well. If you and your au pair go to the pool together you need to tell her that she is in charge, that she can't let the child out of reach (20 feet? it's not enough to keep a non swimming child within 20 feet - arms reach!). Au pairs will not learn by not being instructed on how you want your child to be handled. That is what the orientation days during which you are supposed to coach them are for (3 first work days).
"and I changed schedule this am" - also not okay. Give your ap (if you get another one) a set schedule. Yes, flexible child care but not making changes that morning.

Are you a first time host mom? Please go to aupairmom.com and read up on how to pick and how to coach your au pair. Please!

Do you have a local au pair agency that you recruited the au pair through? I am in the U.S. and au pair exchanges here are regulated by the State Department via local agencies that vary depending on what area you are in. There should be a local counselor at the agency whose job it is to mediate between you and your au pair. They also ensure that the au pairs are not asked to work beyond the maximum 30 hours a week or left in sole charge of too many children etc. An au pair is more like a mothers help rather than a stand alone childcare resource.

There is no U.K. Rules on age limits for au pairs to mind. It's personal choice to leave a baby with then or not.

The au pair programme is completely different in the U.S. - it's very regulated and participants need to have childcare experience. They are allowed to work up to 45hrs a week, so it's more similar to a live in junior nanny role, albeit with mandatory education part.

OP - you're probably better posting on a U.S. site. Although, it's very important with any au pair/nanny to make expectations clear initially.

I think you are irresponsible leaving children that young with someone with no experience. What did you think would happen?

Ah times have changed...as a 19 year old au pair I was in sole charge of a...wait for it...four week old

Can you write her a list of your expectations?

As others have said, she needs guidance and clear instructions. Focus on the things that are the most important to you about how she takes care of the children and be prepared to let some less important things slide for a while.

Jackie you can still do it! Come help me! :o

If you thought a nanny and an au pair were the same thing, why have you opted to hire an au pair? Cheaper?

Au Pairs are much, much cheaper because they are not professional child carers and are not expected to be. They are there to learn about the culture, language etc while doing a bit of mum's help stuff in return for bed, board and pocket money.

If you want/need a nanny, hire one.

Off topic but I would have loved to go to the states as an aupair when I was young.
Missed opportunities.
I would have been similarly clueless .

In the UK an au pair cannot have sole charge of under 5's

A nanny is a trained professional with qualifications

An au pair is on a cultural exchange who will help with school drop offs and pick up with babysitting and light housework in return for food and lodging

I've had a nanny pre school and now I have au pairs as my kids are in school and don't need the level of care that a nanny would provide

I'd add to what Milk says - if you're an au pair you sometimes do stuff with the mother (or father) so you're around quite literally to 'help'.

I am still saying again - when you recruited her or interviewed her did she say she had no experience or you didn't ask her? at the very least I'd expect someone with a bit of experience.

when I was 15/16 I was a live-out au pair in school holidays and after school for a friend/neighbour, but I'd also studied the baby for a child care qualification at school and also did a first aid Red Cross certificate which included children. So I knew all about reflexes etc, what to do if an accident etc, when they're teething. and I often did stuff with the mother so she could see what I was doing. so when she went to work (she had her own business with her DH but didn't work all the time) she was confident about leaving the kids (2.5 year old and a then 1 year old) with me - for a few hours, by myself.

An au Pair is not really experienced enough to be in sole care or such young children. An au pair is more of a mothers help type role, school pick ups and drop off, babysitting etc. like a big sister type, a young girl wanting to travel and learn a language whilst earning pocket money.

A nanny is experienced and Holds a childcare qualification.

They take sole charge of the children, whilst parents are at work. they will cover all aspects of care for the Child and baby and nursery dutys.

A nanny is more then someone to play with your child.

*one!
Thanks phone.

Maybe, in which case it's just the 'under three' which doesn't make sense. Unless that means something different to how I use it. Just makes quite a bit of difference to situation I think, which none is the typo!

maybe OP means 3 meaning almost 4- eg he'll be 4 soon

Rogan the older child is 3, its stated in OP.

How old is the older child? First if all you say they are both under three, so that means he is two. Then you say he is three, then finally that he's four.

I au paired in France when I was 17 and had sole charge of a 4month old baby and a 3 year old boy for nearly 12 hours a day during the working week. Thinking now I was a bit exploited!!

I am slightly worried for your kids to be honest. does she have first aid experience? does she know what to do in an emergency when you're not there? would you leave the kids alone with her?

personally I'd hire a nanny instead and get rid (that sounds harsh) of the au pair.

You just answered your own question why on earth hire someone so young with no experience if it's 'challenging' to you at least?!

It is a challenging age combination I personally think- and this nice fancy girl I think has no experince

Au pairs aren't nannies.
Nannies are trained professionals mainly, au pairs are generally young people visiting another country to learn about the culture and to assist you in childcare related tasks.
They are just big kids themselves.