Where do I stand with nanny?

Looking at things from another perspective for a minute, did you give her written notice of your intention to change the terms and conditions of her job? Unless those changes were very minor, she could be entitled to be made redundant and given redundancy pay if was unwilling or unable to accept the new terms. She should also have been asked to accept the new terms in writing. She might be doing you a favour by simply finding herself a new job.

I feel incredibly sad for my children, especially my youngest.

I don't think you should worry so much about this. It's wonderful that they love their nanny - they've had a great attachment relationship with her - but you are their primary attachment, and they really will be fine with a new nanny. Continuity of care-giving is important, but 3 years is a good, long stint and if your next nanny is long term too, that will be very good!

You feel really betrayed, and horrible about the way this has ended - but your children don't. They do pick up their emotional cues from you, so make sure you are positive and friendly to your nanny when she comes to say goodbye, and continue to speak well of her to them in future. Keep your explanations very simple and matter of fact, and only what they need to know. You say childcare isn't a problem for the next few months: if they will have you until term starts, then they won't look back!

Good luck in finding someone wonderful - I'm sure you will.

Sunshine - even if she didn't have the courage to decline the new terms 3 months ago (which I could understand if jobs are rare in that area), she should at least have talked to OP about it. People can find solutions when you discuss things openly!

If OP's nanny had spoken to her in person and said something like 'I know this will cause you difficulties, but I'm going to struggle with the lower income, and this job - which is perfect because of xyz - needs a quick start. What can we do?' I suspect OP would have released her nanny from the contract, and felt sad but not so incredibly let down. Rather than sending her a text (fgs!) presenting it as fait accompli.

I'd be honest in the reference. Happy with her work, unhappy that she has left you in the lurch and not provided contractual notice period.

She was with you for 3 years without any problems, so can you think of any other reason why she has done this?

She may have felt in April that she had no choice but to accept the new hours. Would this have meant a substantial reduction in wages for her?

Whatever happens be fair about how she has performed as a nanny during the past 3 years.

It may be she has had to accept a quick start in the new job and feels she needs to take it as you wish to cut her hours.

I would not do this myself and I have really put myself out for some of my employers when it comes to notice but can see where she might be coming from!

The job has been offered and accepted, so I guess a reference is neither here nor there.

That's not necessarily the case. Most jobs (whether nanny or otherwise) are offered "subject to satisfactory references" and breaking a contract with only 1 week notice - especially when that will cause real problems for the employer - would make many employers think twice (unless poaching nannies is par for the course near you, as I hear can be the case in some parts of London).

It's not only the possibility that the employee might do the same thing again, it's also the unprofessional, inconsiderate attitude it shows. If they have only just offered, then the new family could presumably just continue their search - disappointing but not inconvenient for them.

It's your choice whether you tell the new family what has happened (carefully, so as not to get into legal trouble) or whether you gracefully just allow it to slide, perhaps trying to avoid giving a reference. It's a difficult decision because your nanny's life might become very difficult if you choose to tell them. You wouldn't continue her employment now, because she has breached your trust, and she could find it hard to get another job without a good reference.

Although this has made life difficult for you, you don't sound like the kind of person who would make things difficult for her out of vindictiveness. So it probably comes down to whether you feel more responsibility for her well-being, or for the risk of the new family being let down as you have been.

Just a thought - does she by any chance thinks that her contract finished at the end of June and new one (which you said was verbal agreement) started in July??? So she would technically be in trial period when 1week notice is acceptable?
Not saying that is what happened but wonder where 1week notice would be acceptable....

She could have declined in April!

I guess nanny wasn't happy that you changed her contractual terms and conditions - and which she hadn't formally accepted in writing. So I'm sort of with her on this one.

Just to clarify that a previous poster said, teachers have to give at least half a term notice, which is 8 weeks. Some schools require a full term.

Op, I would reflect what she's done in the reference. "Previous employee"' sounds like she's told them she's left your employment already.

Sorry you're experiencing this. She needs to fulfil her contract or come to an agreement with you

I'd reply: Ms X is still in my employment and I'm yet to receive a verbal or written 8 week notice as per her contract.

I had three months notice in all my nanny jobs. It worked fine. Whichever side received notice (mostly me as is stayed long term in all my jobs) was able to work professionally until the three months were up.

Your nanny has acted unprofessionally and certainly shot herself in the foot. I wonder if it is all a ploy to get more money/her hours back...

Don't respond to the reference request, legally you don't have to give one.
It's very very unlikely she will get a job without an up to date reference.

I would just remind your current nanny that she has an 8 week notice period and you will not be supplying a reference until that notice period has expired.

A text does not constitute notice. I understand it should be verbally or in writing, that way you know it came from them. Anyone could send a text from someone's phone. Also check your contact as ours stated that notice was to be in writing.
If your nanny insists on less notice than the contractual notice then I would write to them detailing the contractual agreement and that if she chooses to leave early, then you as the employer is entitled to stop her pay and benefits. Obviously, you cannot force her to stay and carry out her work but you can make it clear that her reference will reflect the situation.
As far as her reference goes, I would clarify that she is still employed by you rather than being an ex employee. Sorry to hear you are having to go through this.

Nothing much you can do but you can certainly tell her next employee when they ask for a reference!

If she's expecting a reference you can be clear that she's been unreliable and breeched her contract. You just need to be factually correct.