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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

childminder v nursery dilemma

78 replies

mumofben · 14/11/2006 10:20

sorry if this topic has already been discussed - I'm returning to work in Feb and until recently thought nursery would be best for my 6 month old - However, i flicked through the Stephen Biddulph book on "raising boys" and he suggests that boys in particular benefit from a calm environment with a constant person they can learn to be attached to etc which made sense. So, I changed my mind and thought a childminder would be better, especially in the early months then I could change to nursery when he's a bit bigger.

However, talking to a mum the other day made me re-think again - I've got him into a routine with naps etc - a childminder will want him to fit around her routine - eg out in the car all day? or will he be stuck in front of TV while she's doing her housework etc. Therefore, no guarantee he'll get individual attention anyway.

Now I'm completely unsure what to do. Would be really grateful if anyone can help point me in the right direction?

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Original poster
mumofben · 14/11/2006 11:25

my ideal choice would be for my mum to have him and she'd love to, but lives too far away and works herself. second choice would be a naany, but we can't afford one - it wouldn't be worth me going back to work. 3rd choice would be a relative / trusted friend but nobody to fill that category.

I've rung a few childminders from the ncma website but they hadn't got any vacancies unfortunately - one of them sounded very nice and was nneb as well.

I've got a brochure from leapfrog nurseries and was going to ring to make an appt as it says, but I think I'll turn up unannounced as mrspoppins suggests.

It's not that his routine is set in stone - just that I've got him used to having 2 hours nap at lunchtime in his own cot - on days he doesn't get a good sleep he gets very irritable all afternoon. If this coincided with say a school run for the cm, then he wouldn't get a good sleep.
I suppose I just have to go and look at as many as possible and see if one of them feels right?

OP posts:
smeeinit · 14/11/2006 10:38

not sure what your friend has told you about childminders!!
ima cm and certainly dont do my housework while the kiddies are sat in front of the tv!!
im afraid to say that your son will not get anything like individual attention at a nursery unless you have found one with very little children?
i think you need to go and see a few nurseries and cms and maybe consider a nanny if you wish for your sons routine to be stuck to rigidly.

mrspoppins · 14/11/2006 10:35

Hi Ben's Mum...Just a quick note of reassurance for you. I've been a Nanny for over 12 years now, I was a Nurse before, and so, as you can imagine, I've come across all sorts of children. Because we are all individuals, children react differently to care of any kind.You can get great nurseries and bad ones...fabulous nannies and childminders and not so great ones.You need to look into all possibilities and see what suits Ben and you the most. Remember, you need to know that you can cope with the hours too. If you need reassurance that, for example, if Ben were ill, you could still go to work, then you need a Nanny as a childminder and a Nursery would require him to stay at home. If you have a family support network that could help you out in a crisis, then you'd be fine to look at nurseries and childminders. One tip...always turn up at a nursery unannounced to view it and always try the same at a childminders. You'll get a good feel for their usual practise.

Most importantly, so long as a child is happy and being encouraged to fulfil their potential, They can go anywhere.
Good Luck ! xxKaren