Sacking the Aupair - do we owe her holiday pay?

Unopened chocolate is probably cause she was leaving for holidays and was clearing her room of food items.

The way you post OP makes me want to have a drink and it's only 10am,

Wow poor girl. Pay her holiday (and extra for having to put up with you! You "gave" her time off for being ill WTF??!)
Give her a good reference (as your the one with the problem, not her) then move on.

It sounds like the au pair would be much better of with another family. It is pointless for the OP to have a discussion when she obviously has made her mind up. If she was keeping that poor girl, you can imagine how uncomfortable the life situation would be.

Please OP don't slag her off to her agency just because you dislike her. Part on good terms, arrange what is best regarding her belongings (if she is going with another family, sending her stuff back to her might not be the cheapest or best way for anyone)

Good luck with the next girl.

So you are sacking her as you think she had a party due to bottles of booze and 4 beer cans - while you were away

Then you say you think she is drinking alone and as knows no one and not fit to drive your children about

Which is it?

Unopened chocolate ? Wouldn't be any left if had a party with my friends

You need to sit down and have a proper chat - not assume stuff - but either way yes she gets paid holiday

I missed Muminahurry0's reply but I'm thinking it probably wasn't the most pleasant (thanks to AlternativeTenatacles for giving us the gist,much appreciated).

Strange how some people react so strongly to peoples opinions/advice,when they have specifically asked for them.Anyone would think they were only prepared to be told how perfectly right they were

Glad I never had to work for this particular 'employer'/

I'm not sure what you've told us would constitute gross misconduct.

She's not an employee, so the notice period and holidays would depend on what you have agreed and written on her letter of introduction. She will need to come back anyway and get her things and say goodbye to her friends.

'The memories'

From a nanny point of view I see that her having a party without asking was not on. I always ask if I can have friends over etc.

But the fact that she has cleaned up after herself and owned up to it, makes me wonder if your being a tad unreasonable.

She should of asked yes' but it's hardly grounds for sacking the girl and causing her of being an alcoholic and denying her holiday pay.

Do you tell your boss everything? I do hope you don't drink any wine the evening before work

I won't be coming on here again, I cannot believe what a pit of angry mums I have found while reaching out for help. Shocking.

a - we are not all mums. some people on here aren't even female.
b - the responders above were perfectly reasonably in responding to the words you typed
c - what is shocking is your attitude to your au pair.

But the fact she has a history doing things secretly in her room

Yes that is what happens when you have a 'boss' who thinks they should control your whole life.

Web trolls back in your box.

People disagreeing with you or questioning your odd judgements are not trolls. They are just people disagreeing with you. I take it you do not like people disagreeing with you, hence the au pair's secrecy and drinking alone?

From this thread I suspect she is well shot of you. And yes of course you should be paying her accrued holiday pay, why wouldn't you?

She's not an employee so you can just ask her to leave.

People can only respond on the facts provided and on the facts provided, you do not have enough to sack her for gross misconduct. As you are in touch with the agency who apparently agree with your actions, I'm surprised they couldn't answer your questions.

Pit of angry mums? Hmm.

You owe her holiday pay and pay in lieu of notice. It's not gross misconduct for an adult to drink on their own time.

nickel and dimeing her over her accrued holiday pay and quibbling over her employment status does not make you look like a host family the agency can recommend again

I think 'gross misconduct' would be a debatable term in this case.One minute the contents of the bin were because of a party,next they were a result of solitary alcoholism.

If someone is sacked for gross misconduct than you do not have to pay any notice pay, but you do have to pay any accrued holiday.

But whether the aupairs actions are classed as gross misconduct or not is down to what actually happened - not what you think has happened. You need to have a proper discussion with her to get the full facts.

I hope you're going to pay her notice and for all her things to be sent back to her.

Your description of what you found in the bin and 'evidence' for either a party or her being an alcoholic are ludicrous.
If this is an adult working for you, she is entitled to have time off at leisure and to have privacy to spend that time in her private space as she wishes - drinking is fine. Do you have evidence of her being drunk on duty?
Have you actually asked her about the stuff you have found or if she had a party?

You sound like you have decided to get rid of her without speaking to her about your concerns or giving her a chance to answer them. You refer to gross misconduct which can warrant immediate dismissal - there is no evidence in what you say of this.

You need to question yourselves in this - you may want rid of this au pair - if so you need to admit this to yourself and go about it in the right way, giving notice. If you just don't like her, you can give notice and pay and simply say it hasn't worked out. This would be disappointing for her, but acceptable behaviour from you.
What wouldn't be decent behaviour on your part, is to get rid of her whilst she is away, based on charges for which you really have no evidence and don't seem prepared to give her a chance to answer to.

It sounds to me like you don't want her with you. Be honest with yourselves and accept it if it simply a relationship that hasn't worked out, rather than trying to justify yourself in terms of behaving inappropriately when really there is no evidence of this. And absolutely do the right thing about paying her. This is a young girl who is abroad and depends on you as the HOST family behaving right here. You don't really sound like you are prepared to do this, but I hope you re-think.

Which is it....she had a party with friends,or was drinking alone as she few friends nearby?I would think that she is perfectly entitled to eat/drink what she wants on her time off when she was not in charge of the children.

Be honest with yourself....you don't like her and you want rid of her.Now that she is away,you don't want her to come back.How much pay are you talking about?How long has she been with you?

So you are sacking an adult for drinking alcohol in their own time at home. Seems a bit harsh.

If you aren't happy with her for whatever reason, why not just have a polite conversation and let her know that you feel it's not working out and pay her notice?

Are you sure she hasn't just been drinking the wine over time and had a tidy up and cleared out room whilst you were gone? It would make sense that stuff like unopened chocolate was in the bin then also as she could have been given it and didn't like that type so just throw away whilst tidying up.

I would presume she thought she didn't need permission to have few friends over whilst you were away as didn't want to bother you, and it hardly sounds like a party just a few friends over for pizza and wine

How did you make the jump from drinking alone to alcoholic? if she is the legal age for drinking and is turning up for work sober she can have a drink in her room if she wants.
Actually think the Aupair may be getting a lucky escape. You gave her time off for food poisoning how generous of you.

She isn't meant to pay for food or board . Do you know what employing an au pair involves?