Hiring local nannies on holiday???

I would just avoid Carebear Nannies - the owner has a terrible attitude and temper. She let us down considerably during the Christmas period of Dec 15 and benefitted from pre paid services which she did not provide. She effectively stole over 350 euros from us. She did not show up after 3 days and did not even bother to even call us, just sending a text last minute which is shocking given her responsibility is child care. She demonstrated no care for the children and only about the cash in her pocket and taking advantage of the good will of people. She has not refunded our money to date after committing to do so in writing.

Your best solution is a catered villa or hotel tbh that doesn't have kids stuff so not kids focused.

We go to a lovely hotel that has restaurants and we have always taken kids out late to them or they fall asleep, but they do also offer room service to your own terrace off your suite. So you could put child to bed and have them bring food to your terrace for example

Or can you just encourage long afternoon siestas and keep them up late to join you out wherever.

We always travel with slings also for toddlers so can go exploring/ on beaches/ to historical places/ out late and just pop small child in sling on back when they get tired so we can carry on and they can rest or sleep

Try Coastline www.coastline.co.uk/ for villas with a nanny service

They are pretty pricey but out of school holidays it might be more affordable.

Tenerife is lovely. I'm here now. Abama also nice and as I said the company was owned by my friend Lisa when she lived there but has now sold it on as couldn't run it from UK

(The babysitter we had in the Abama did say that she very often did day-time work too though)

Oh, forgot to mention the crucial advantage of resorts, which is that they can pretty much always organise babysitting! We've only used it in the evenings, since our DD is rather 'sensitive' and would hate to be with a stranger during the day. But we always have the babysitter come early so she can meet them (in case she wakes up) and she's always been happy to get to know them, whether they speak English or not.

Blimey, what judgemental posts!

It's very reasonable to want a few hours of time to yourself on holiday, and also to have some adult evenings out when your child is asleep. And as for the 'why bother to have children' comment - what a ridiculous thing to say!!

We're in a similar situation wrt holidays, OP. We used to holiday very independently before we had DD (2.5) and we really struggled to figure out how to holiday successfully as a family. We haven't had much success with villa /cottage holidays , since it's basically more work than being at home (since you don't have your usual things). Hotels can work, but it's a bind having to eat at restaurants every meal, and expensive.

What we have found works best is self-catering (ideally serviced) somewhere with restaurants within walking distance - either a town or resort (and making sure you use them). Even though we had never stayed at a resort before having DD, we've actually found that self catering within a resort has worked really well. Toddlers LOVE beaches and pools - and we find we enjoy them more now alongside DD. The trick is to find somewhere where you can also do a few day trips and visits which are interesting to the adults as well as OK for the toddler. It's great to have the convenience of restaurants most nights when you want them, but still be able to cook simple meals when that's more convenient. As pp said, children's clubs tend to only take them without the parent once they are 3 or 4, but they are often happy for you use the facilities if you stay with your child, which is handy.

Portugal is great. In fact I'm sitting by a pool in Portugal writing this post . My recommendation would be to fly to Lisbon and hire a car then:

1. A few days in super-cool Lisbon - get your 'grown-up travel' fix with loads of surprisingly toddler-friendly things to do like the oceanario, cable-car, tram 28 (get to the terminus VERY early). Even the Jerónimos Monastery worked well with our toddler, since there's lots of space to run around, and it's very beautiful.
2. Spend a few days in Sintra. We only went for a day trip, which wasn't long enough.

1. Then spend the rest of the trip in the Algarve. We are staying at Vale d'Oliveiras Resort,which is a lovely small resort made up of self-catering apartments. It's in the countryside, very quiet, but just 10mins drive from some lovely beaches.

Alternatively, don't discount Tenerife because of the fly-and-flop image. It's actually really nice to visit if you hire a car. The volcanic landscape in the interior is stunning, and the cable car to the top is pretty impress. There's also a big zoo/bird-park which makes a nice day trip, and some nice towns eg Orotavo and La Laguna.

Do check the weather though, I think they have an unsettled period in October /November.

Tenerife also has the amazing Abama hotel - the hotel which changed my mind about resorts! It's very beautiful, with a lovely laguna-type swimming pool, with nice shallow areas for toddlers; it has a beautiful, sheltered private beach with imported Saharan sand (Tenerife has black, volcanic sand) which you get to in 5 mins on their little train shuttle; they have lots of pool and beach toys out (or you can just ask) so you don't even need to pack bucket and spade (as well as beach towels of course). It also has a fab children's club: you can't leave your 2yo, but it's like having a little soft play on site. It's really, really lovely.
The downsides are:

1. cost - although in term-time, it's not outrageous
2. It isn't self-catering and on-site restaurants are expensive - but if you have a car, you can drive 5 minutes to San Juan which has good, inexpensive restaurants
3. It probably would feel kid-centric to your DH, although as I said there are some interesting day trips to do. We actually, only spent part of our trip to Tenerife in the resort. We spent the other half in Garachico, which is nice, but only really worth a day or two, and incidentally the most geographically isolated part of tenerife you can find.. I'd recommend La Laguna (which we visited briefly and really liked) or Puerto de la cru instead.

Other possibilities to consider would be Malta and Sardinia.

Have a look at Peryali villas on Zakynthos, we went loads when our DC were little. I think it might suit you.

What a sad post. Why bother to have children if you're just going to carry on as if you're child free?

Those of you who have partners who help out, you don't know how lucky you are. Next time you're feeling cross at them, remember that! I do virtually everything. My partner will change the odd nappy if specifically instructed, and he made our son an omelette once, when I was late home from work, and he's good at taking the travel cot apart....but that is about it.

I'm not lucky that my partner is a reasonable human being! He doesn't "help out", he's a parent.

I realise this isn't what you were asking and please don't be offended, but why on earth can't your partner step up and do more, not just on holiday? It's my baseline assumption that me and my partner share childcare, it's not him doing me a favour! He's great and all, but I'm not lucky - he's an equal partner in our family, not a bystander.

The only person I am judging on this thread is your partner. He demands the kind of holiday you go on and then does fuck all.

stickystick - just ignore the judgements.

As eversobusy says on the ski threads people talk happily about sticking their young DCs in all day creche or whatever and noone bats an eyelid, but god forbid you'd want a few hours to yourself on a sun holiday.

I remember when DS was 18mths-3yrs, it coincided with a health problem I had so I was in constant pain during the time.

We went to La Manga and also a resort in Sardinia where babysitting was available, and at La Manga we put DS in the creche one afternoon. he didn't enjoy it and in retrospect I feel a bit guilty, but at the time I remember the utter joy of not being responsible for a few hours and fully relaxing in the spa ( also helped that the Scottish rugby team were there at the same time!). It was lovely as well being able to go out for a meal and not have to worry about what they had available, how long DS would stay awake for, how to entertain him etc. etc.. All this was of course interspersed with the rest of the time being spent together, doing stuff by the pool, having fun as a family.

As your DH doesn't do much, then he cannot demand that you stay somewhere with no support. We tend to stay s/c but in holiday villages with facilities available e.g. La Manga as above. That way you don't have to make friends with everyone, but you have babysitting and restaurants available if you want to use them. I don't go on holiday to cook apart from breakfast .

You really have had a lot of judgmental people on this thread. My eldest was a very unsettled baby and our first holiday with him was a nightmare - no fun at all. For the next few years we only did holidays with a crèche - not because we didn't love him but because we needed a bit of breathing space and to have some time together without him. He didn't sleep in a buggy and taking him out meant a stressful night so we either stayed in or used babysitters. Middle was a doddle, never needed help and the youngest was a lot younger than the other 2 so one year we took our aupair with us for a week and had a week without her.

This was all years ago but it made our lives just a little bit easier. There's a reputable company in Mallorca and a couple of other places called jelly and ice cream childcare. I haven't used them but friends have in ski resorts where it seems much more accepted to have childcare to allow you to ski child free

Children can nap in a buggy in the shade and be same in the evening. Take them out with you and sleep in the buggy

believe it or not NOT ALL KIDS ARE THE SAME, i got my son to nap in his buggy once. I think this is the downside to having strict nap time routines at home.

Why on earth would you be doing all the cleaning, cooking and childcare? I'd leave your partner at home and go where you want to go with your son if he wants to dictate where you go and not help at all.

You don't have to compromise on place or privacy when you have a toddler but you do have to be prepared to look after your own child all the time!

Why doesn't your partner help out more? Children can nap in a buggy in the shade and be same in the evening. Take them out with you and sleep in the buggy

Seems to me your dp needs to compromise more and do his 'share' on holiday or go to a 'commercial' hotel like mark Warner and use their nannies

Is it an option that your nanny has your child at home and takes to her other job for a few days?

maybe she wants to be with her kids and have help aswell?

tell your DH to do the cooking & cleaning so you can enjoy the holiday with your child? I don't know your home situation when you aren't on holiday, but cooking, cleaning & childcare don't all have to be your job all the time.

Why not leave your son with a relative or nanny back home ? At least he will be in familiar surroundings, because he would be with a nanny the whole time anyway!
either that or do a family break and a short break with your dh. I guess I am another one who doesn't understand the whole going on holiday and leaving kids with childcare the whole time.

If your DH wants to go down this route, then task him with coming up with the options. Unfortunately when you have DCs, things change and having an idyllic villa in the middle of nowhere, ceases to be a practical option.

no it doesn't