Nanny may want to return with own child

The OP doesn't need to question her about her return. She just needs to tell her that she can't bring the baby, which she should have done as soon as she realised the nanny had misunderstood.

I don't think she'll just turn up on the day countess. I may have been exaggerating for dramatic effect. I do think she might leave it until a month/few weeks before she returns though. You wouldn't normally start discussing your return to work before that would you? A month is not a lot of time for the nanny to find a new job or the OP to find a new nanny. It is in everyone's best interests to get this sorted asap. Many people manage to be both professional and decent at the same time. It is not unprofessional to correct someone when they've made a mistake. It's kind.

Difficult. shes entitled to enjoy her leave without being questioned abt her return.
Surely she wants to know how much shell be paid! so she will raise it.

As if she's going to just turn up on the day with her baby, and no discussion! If that was the case Op should be worried more about the fact that the nanny has the IQ of a potato than anything else. Now, how about we assume that neither OP or her nanny is a total idiot, and stick to a proper employer/employee relationship (something far too many people don't do with childcare). Be professional.

Because if she has misunderstood/wrongly assumed and thinks she is coming back to work with her baby it will be quite a shock to her when she turns up first day back with the baby.....

She shouldn't have assumed obviously, but that doesn't mean the OP shouldn't correct her.

Have you never wrongly assumed anything Stealth? And would you not want someone to correct you?

The nanny is facing finding a new job or finding childcare. The decent thing to do is give her time to do that. I cannot believe people don't understand this!

I was under the same impression dancing witch. Agree with you and countess. Unless she asks why would you bring it.up ?

Of course you should. Particularly in a nanny/parent situation where the relationship is so close. You can absolutely set her straight re. bringing her baby. It's the decent thing to do.

You can strongly suspect whatever you want, if your employee hasn't asked for a change to their working conditions, you shouldn't be telling them they can't have them.

I have 4dc so have done lots of juggling etc. Have used a wonderful childminder but never a Nanny.

I would only consider a Nanny bringing their own child if it was reflected in their salary and I was happy with the change it would make in the care and attention my dc received. It certainly wouldn't be automatically fine.

Perhaps a compromise of the nanny's child coming some days could work well but that is the Ops decision. It sounds like you need a live-in nanny tbh.

Since they strongly suspect that their employee has wrongly assumed something/misunderstood?

If you know or even think that someone has got the wrong end of the stick you correct them. That's not an employee/employer issue, it's just basic decency. I find it surprising that anyone doesn't understand that.

I find it surprising anyone thinks its needs to be brought up at all. Nanny hasn't mentioned it, so neither should anyone else.
Since when did employers start guessing what employees might want to ask for in the future and pre-emptively raise issues before they exist?

I am at some of the comments here... neglect ? Free childcare?

Thank god my families have been amazing and I've not struggled to find work as a nwoc. I work my fucking ass off for my families and I would be very offended to hear anyone suggest that it is the children of my employers who suffer.

OP you are well within your rights to tell her that it's not an arrangement you want for your family. But have that conversation soon.

yes the nanny will get free childcare but what generally happens is that her rate will be less, so that the parents get cheaper childcare

not sure about employment laws and not contacting when on ml, but surely in a nannies position you can enquire if they plan to come back with baby

or simply write a nice letter saying you look forward to nanny coming back on xxx date (9mths or 12mths) later without her child

And what happens if her baby gets harmed by one of your DC or has some kind of accident in your home?

I wouldn't want a nanny to come back with her baby. She is effectively getting free childcare for her own DC whilst you are paying her look after yours. Let alone the fact your DC are not getting the care they are used to from her for which you are paying.

Its a no brainer for me. However much I liked her I would not take her back on if she were to bring her own DC into work whilst looking after my DC.

OP - I may be wrong here but I thought that, as an employer, you are not allowed to contact an employee whilst they are on maternity to ask them what they are considering doing, i.e. if or when they are planning on returning to work and, if that is the case, by extension then I am not sure that, legally, you could initiate this conversation with her, however much you may want to and however much easier it may make things all round. It may be worth posting in legal and double checking. Having said that, unless you do start that conversation, I have no idea how you clarify with her that she understands that she can't bring her child with her when she returns to work.

No nanny experience, but 3 of my own children with very similar age gaps to your own and the nanny's.
I wouldn't do it.
My eldest 2, at the moment, do not always get the attention they need when i have all 3 by myself. When it comes down to it, the older boys want my attention but the toddler often needs it to keep him safe, fed, clean etc. So they miss out. In a little while this will all level out i'm sure, and as pps have said, they will have advantages from a sibling but no way would i pay a premium for the care my older boys get just now.

It's the weekend today so maybe op won't speak till Monday but agree needs to be clarified asap

The important thing is to tell her as soon as possible. She either needs to find a new job or find childcare. She needs time. I'm hoping that OP spoke to her today. Every day you put it off you're being horribly unfair to her.

sorry to be blunt .but you pay her to look after your children .not her own .and sorry but if it came to the crunch her child would be looked after first its only human nature .yes you can have your job but no you can,t bring the baby .and she is unlikelky to leave her child to look after someone else,s .

Op I would raise it swiftly with the nanny. It will be an awkward conversation but I would suggest finding a prearranged time where you can ideally meet or if not practical speak on the phone. You need to be clear that she is of course welcome to return to her job as it was pre mat leave, as she is legally entitled to do, but that you would not be happy with her bringing the baby. And that you wanted to raise it now as you'd heard her say a coup,d of things that made you think she might be looking to go down this route and so you wanted to make sure you were all on the same page. This may go down badly but she has zero right to bring her child. The question to be clear in your own mind is whether it's a flat no and no room for discussion or whether you'd be willing to consider proposals from her at all.

I totally understand your position by the way and would feel the same. You've felt unable to have a third child so why should you take many of the downsides that would have brought by introducing the nanny's child into the mix without the enormous upside of actually having your own child.

I am a NWOC, and went back to work when my DS was only 17weeks old.
My pay is higher than most nannies I know, so I haven't had to take a pay cut (think £11 plus per hour)
It is actually my DS who gets "neglected" so to speak as I put his needs after the children I am paid to look after.
I personally didn't want my child to be cared for by someone else (outside family) whilst I cared for other children - it didn't make sense in my head.
I also ask my DH to take time off if DS is poorly as I don't want to let me employers down.
I look after 3 children who were aged 20 mths, 5 and 7 when I returned to work and I am still there 3yrs down the line and it still works well.
He loves the children and they love him, I have wonderful bosses and we all have a great relationship.
Is it worth giving it a try - I just wanted to post from a different perspective that a NWOC can work well.

OP think you're getting a lot of unfair grief on here. I wouldn't be happy with nanny bringing her own child to work. The way I see it is that I'm paying a premium to get a nanny's sole attention on my children and for her to prioritise my kids - which I do not think is (naturally) possible if you add a nanny's child into the mix.
She may well have alternative arrangements planned. My previous nanny used to leave her daughter with family/crèche. Just clarify what her plan is and do what you think is best for your circumstances. Good luck. Tricky one- especially if you had a good relationship before and if she's good with your kids.

When your nanny said she needed to come back soon and wouldn't leave her child in a nursery - would have been a good time to discuss it - or the following day etc as was in company

May not be fair - but as you didn't say anything the nanny is probably assuming she can come back with baby

Probably not ok, because that sounds like a significant change, but without knowing the specifics I can't really say for sure. The best thing is to get proper employment law advice - your payroll company may well provide this as part of your package.