mum brought baby but no milk

I am a parent too, who used a childminder and was always open to hear her views and advice. I might not take that advice, but if my childminder said, 'You know, I really think X seems to want a bit more milk than you are giving me and he so enjoys it' or even 'most babies I look after have a bottle of milk at 11am and I find it helps them be more contented', then I would be mad not to consider that very seriously. As others have said, if I value this person enough to let them basically mother my very small baby, I should value them enough to listen to their advice and feedback. They don't deserve to be treated like housemaids.

Message withdrawn

hmm just read whole post and im seriously wondering if greensleaves may need a little guidance herself?!
seems to me that you are implying that us childminders have no right to offer guidance to parents of whom we have a special relationship with and who obviously value us enough to leave their most precious children with us?
having read the post i dont see anywhere that hmo2 has implied that she is a healthcare proffesional or that she is "qualified" to give advice. however we cms are qualified in our line of work and have every right as cms and human beings to give any advice,guidance,help,opinions to whomever we wish. whether the guidance etc is taken is up to the indivdual recieving it
its called freedom of speech!

BTW, I also don't understand why Greensleeves jumped on HMo2 like that???

Can I just give you another view on this by sharing one experience with you:

One of my mindees started when he was 5 months old (actually he was on food and not much milk all day too but I knew what that was all about). When changing nappies I used to think what unusual bits he had 'down below'. I agonised over whether or not to say something, I got advice from other childminders etc. and decided not to say anything as I thought she'd be mortified and think I was critising her ds in some way. Also, she wasn't a new mum and saw health visitors and Dr's regularly for other reasons.

Well, one day she told me how she'd found out there was a problem with his bits and I mentioned that I did at one point want to say something but explained how awkward it was and that I was advised not to. She pleaded with me to tell her if I ever had an opinion on something again and said to please not keep it to myself. I felt awful but it was such a difficult position to be in. Now we know each other better, I'm always giving 'advice' on what to feed, how to feed, sleep etc etc. But of course I know how to say what I think and always say I'm not a professional blablabla but she really does welcome the advice.

All parents are different but I just wanted to explain that parents can get upset with you for 'not' saying something aswell as for saying something without being subtle.

Good luck

Message withdrawn

Personally after having four of her own children and many years experience if my CM 'suggests' something, which as a frequent carer of my DS I fully beleive she should be able to do, I take it very seriously. If my CM didn't know what she was talking about then I wouldn't entrust my DS to her.

This is why i never want to be responsible for other people's kids.

hello amphion - thought maybe you'd taken cover in a sandbagged bunker!

No, it has nothing to do with other threads. I responded to what she said, and I have explained quite clearly why I felt it was relevant to the OP. This, on the other hand, is a waste of time. So shall we drop it?

You said she talked about 'professional guidance' which HMo2 never wrote. I think it's OK to say that you think someone's had a rough time on a thread. This is clearly a fight carried over from other threads though and has completely taken over the OP, sadly.

Well, obviously I don't agree with you, sorrell, bu I can't see the point of repeating myself, so I won't. I didn't misquote her, though. I just interpret her slightly differently from you.

I've read my posts again, and if I felt that I had been unduly rude, I would apologise - I frequently do on MN - but on this occasion I don't think I overreacted, I'm happy with what I said.

I think that's it really, unless you want to go over it all again?

Sorry if I spoiled the peace and harmony!
Just felt HMo2 was getting a really rough ride for an innocuous post.

Or not....

For me, it's not your view that is the problem so much as the pretty tetchy and even quite rude way you expressed it. You sound like you in a bad mood, and you did misquote HMo2!

The actual post -
as a childminder, you are perfectly entitled to have an opinion. If you feel they are not giving him enough milk (sounds like they're not imo) then of course you should say so.

It may be they would welcome a bit of guidance. They may have cut the milk down and increased the solids too quickly. He is definately too
little to go from breakfast to lunch and have no milk at all imo.

• is not dangerous or irresponsible or nasty in the slightest. And I don't think childminders are servants who should never dare say anything to the parents of the children they look after. They tend to have knowledge and experience, and that's exactly why a lot of parents choose a childminder.

Ah. Peace and Harmony.

...and asking lots of questions and liaising with the parents is the right and responsible way to proceed IMO

I've no beef with the OP. I just don't like that idea of her or any other childminders reading this to follow HMo2's advice and start dispensing unqualified "guidance" all over the place. It could be disastrous for someone.

i do agree with you, greeny, now that i understand what you are saying. but you did sound unusually tetchy about it...
it's no bad thing to have someone point out that CMs should be ultra-cautious about offering advice/guidance/whatever and making it sound like they are trained in some way to provide it. presumably amphion will now bear this in mind as she, quite responsibly, tries to garner more information about the child's feeding 'routine'.

to be fair, if she's only got the baby for the morning that's not so bad... i had rather misread the OP as saying that she was having a trial and would be taking the child for longer hours in future. still, it won't do any harm to ask a few questions.

I think there's also a big difference between a new mother accepting advice from her mother/a friend/a HV, and a childminder considering herself qualified to offer guidance to parents as a matter of practice. I think it's important for children's safety that any job involving children's care has clear boundaries on both sides. I do find it alarming that a childminder might offer authoritative-sounding guidance to a young parent, and be taken seriously as a percieved professional, when that person is not qualified or trained to offer such advice. There's a difference between friendly advice from a friend and professional guidance from a perceived professional. That's my view. Obviously it's not popular, but I do still have the right to post it.

Poor old amphion was just a bit worried about a tiny baby she was going to care for. I think that's great. Who would want their child cared for by people who didn't worry about them and really want to give them their best?