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Original poster

How to broach something with childminder

40 replies

wheresthelight · 07/02/2015 07:50

My dd has been going to cm for a week and she loves ot! the lady is amazing and dd is eating loads better than she does at home and is clearly getting a lot out of it.

however, every time I collect her the cm keeps trying to out her coat on ready to get in the car. it's quite a thick padded coat that's send with her as the cm takes them out walking a lot. I have massive concerns that the cm is putting her in a cat seat in her car with this coat on which is against all the safety advice I have read and was given when buying our own seats. I don't want to upset or offend her as she is lovely and the only one I met with who I felt happy leaving dd with (pfb and proud), but I need to know if i would be a complete cow to ask of she is putting her in her car seat with the coat on and if she is could she not.

would this be ok?

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pommedeterre · 10/02/2015 19:14

We have a multimac in dh's car! Was wondering about them!

HSMMaCM · 10/02/2015 17:32

36 kg for the Multimac in my car. Thought of this today as I was strapping all the children into their five point harnesses at the forest after taking their coats off.

BMO · 10/02/2015 16:16

I imagine that's because it is very rare that people do - most children will be in a HBB way before 18kg. There are no children in my son's Reception class that I've seen still in a harnessed seat for example.

mynameissecret · 10/02/2015 15:36

Also no one ever mentions the dangers of using a 5 point harness when they are too heavy for it.

Brandysnapper · 10/02/2015 08:22

I have heard the opposite - a regular seatbelt pulls in and out, and is designed to tighten against you in an accident. A child's five pointer is static once you tighten it. I imagine a giant coat isn't great with either, but the problem of the belt suddenly being too loose seems specific to the static belts.

Original poster
wheresthelight · 09/02/2015 19:54

firecracker yeah I think it is to be honest as most of the info I was reading said we shouldn't wear them as adults either as the padding prevents the seat belt doing its job properly so I would assume it applies to a car seat fastened in by the normal seat belt too.

OP posts:
pommedeterre · 09/02/2015 16:59

Its ok with a seatbelt, it's the five point harnesses.

FlorenceMattell · 09/02/2015 10:45

Good point firecracker but I wonder if it is different because adult seat belts are designed to pull back on impact. ??
Agree thank you OP for high lighting this point.

firecracker123 · 09/02/2015 10:19

Hi my DS is 9 years old and still travels in a Recaro booster seat with the back and sides. It fastens in with a normal seat belt rather than harness. Where children are being fastened by a normal seatbelt in a booster seat, is the advice about thick coats the same?

Lovelydiscusfish · 08/02/2015 21:44

If I were you I would approach it from exactly this perspective - your cm, very likely, is not properly aware of this advice. (I do feel it would be good if there was more publicity for it - I am a really anxious parent, who laps up every bit of safety advice that comes my way - but had never heard this.)
I'm sure your cm would be pleased to maybe read a bit about it (the link upthread is great - makes perfect sense) and it is then something she can apply in the future.
I just discussed it with dh - we both felt, while it's quite obvious when you think about it, just not something we would ever have considered.

Original poster
wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 19:17

you are welcome lovely!

I only know because I did some research when I was pregnant and then the very lovely car seat lady in our local Mothercare superstore told me when dd was in her big snowsuit in the pushchair and we were trying out car seats in dp's car (it is a stupid volvo with weird shaped seats so we struggled to find one that fitted securely) and as we put dd on to test that dp could get the front seat in a comfortable position without crushing her legs the lady was saod something like "Ohh do you know they have changed the advice and you aren't supposed to use coats/padded snowsuit or the nylon finished ones" and explained why. I told her we knew already bur was surprised it wasn't more widely advertised.

I tell everyone I know with kids but am nervous of tackling it with someone I pay to look after dd!

but it is better to be safe than sorry. no one told my sister when her dd was born and cos she was a premmie the hospital actively encouraged bundling her up in snowsuit

OP posts:
pommedeterre · 08/02/2015 18:52

It's weird isn't it lovely? I saw it on facebook a couple of years ago and was shocked no one had told me before!

I'm also shocked how little the whole high back booster vs normal booster seat is discussed. Everyone I know of dd1's peers seems to use just the bottom and they are only five!

Lovelydiscusfish · 08/02/2015 18:37

Just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread, as previously I knew nothing about this!

Jinxxx · 08/02/2015 18:34

I have the opposite problem. I'm trying to work out how to put to parents that they shouldn't be bundling up the little ones in bulky coats as they leave (or indeed come to me wrapped up to the eyeballs in duvet coats). I don't put their coats on in my car, and put on the heater for a few minutes before we go anywhere so it's not cold inside, but it can be hard to work out how to say something like that to parents without sounding critical. I have had to have words in the past about parents not using car seats or seatbelts, so bulky coats is not quite in the same league.

saintlyjimjams · 08/02/2015 17:46

Yes just tell her your friend sent you the video & you had no idea & show her as if it was news to you as well.

HSMMaCM · 08/02/2015 17:42

Just do what someone else said and tell get you've just found out about the safety thing and she'll either say she knew or be interested and you might save a child's life.

Original poster
wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 16:44

bmo I have sort of said it but maybe need to be a bit clearer on the "not safe" bit. this is all completely new to me as only been back at work a week so not sure what is fair/appropriate to be asking of that makes sense

thank you for all your advice

OP posts:
pommedeterre · 08/02/2015 16:39

I put my kids in the car with their coats over their laps like blankets. When cold like now they have hats and gloves on.
The baby wears a non padded coat plus blankets in top.
Cars warm up very quickly and putting coats on when you get somewhere takes two seconds.
So, busydays I think your attitude is lazy tbh.

BMO · 08/02/2015 16:36

Next time when you pick her up and the CM is putting her coat on, say "it's ok, she doesn't need her coat on as she's going straight in the car and it isn't safe to have a padded coat on in the car seat". If the CM doesn't know about this she will probably ask what you mean.

Original poster
wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 16:22

I think what I will do is send her in layers and her rain mac rather than her winter coat and send a blanket with her.

the cm is lovely and I really don't want to upset her as dd has settled really well (she is 17 months for the poster who asked) so I would hate to upset the apple cart.

busydays you attitude is quite frankly disgusting. I cannot believe having been given the information you are willing to risk your own kids lives let alone those of other people's. I hope to god you aren't my cm!

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 08/02/2015 15:36

www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2012/12/winter-coats-and-car-seats-keeping-your-child-safe-and-warm/index.htm

I ask parents not to send bulky jackets anyway (as they are hard to climb trees etc in) and the children come in lots of layers, making it easier to keep them warm without coats in the car. I have blankets in the car too.

Marcipex · 08/02/2015 15:34

I didn't know this! So padded coats are dangerous in the car?

binspin · 08/02/2015 15:33

how old is your dd?
if little little maybe give her a travel grow bag for the car?

if bigger give her a blanket.

Or send a thinner coat and say this is the one for the car as the other one is too padded and therefore dangerous in the car. make out that you've just found out the dangers in a 'did you know' type way so that you aren't criticizing.

Brandysnapper · 08/02/2015 15:25

I thought (possibly mistakenly) that this was only a problem with padded jackets, not fleecey ones or any standard "non compressible" materials. We have a jacket that's clearly full of air, and a snowsuit, and I won't send him to the cm in either of these. It can be hard not to seem to be implying they are doing something wrong.

NerrSnerr · 08/02/2015 15:15

Omg busydays! When you're calling a parent to tell them their child is seriously injured or dead because they came out of the car seat I'm sure you'll tell them you know the risks but you took the chance?? People pay you to card for their children, not put their lives at risk.