Help!! My CM lost my LO for half an hour, what would you do??

When my children were at the local primary school it always amazed me just how many parents did seem to let their reception and pre-school children run off and hide, even along roads. I saw plenty of it. My own children thought I was such a dragon because I wouldn't let them do it even though their friends did. I'm not saying they never tried it on because they were young children doing what young children do, but in matters of personal safety I came down hard on them when they did (not abusively hard, before anyone jumps to that conclusion) and it stopped. That was when they were in the infants at school, or at pre-school.

I think you have done the right thing terminating your contract with the childminder, because you can no longer be confident she does her job effectively. You and your son had a lucky escape this time. Of course he should not be running off and hiding, but all children of that age push the boundaries if they sense half a chance. He is obviously shaken by the experience, so may well have already learned a valuable lesson from it. It will probably help you to reinforce to him exactly why he must not run off again, and why it isn't as funny as some children seem to think it is.

that is because there will be no option for that loukev. If you think that would be the correct course of action, you would have to take matters into your own hands.

I do think you are being a bit unreasonable here, OP.

Obviously it's your son we are talking about so it's normal to freak out and be upset about the situation, but I do think the CM did the right thing.

She immediately noticed he was gone, went back to the school and gathered people to look for him and called you. Yes, she could have hold his hand or made them hold hands but your son could still have let go of his friend's hand and run away to hide. 4 yo are often stubborn and unpredictable unless she had attached him to her there would still have been a chance of it happening, How many time to we hear about parents who just turn around for a second to see their kids gone the next second? It's a terrifying experience and I do think your son got a good scare and won't do it again which is good.

She was absolutely right to tell him off and call him 'naughty' for running away and giving everyone (himself included) a good scare, your son could have put himself in danger or could have gotten hurt and he needed to be told off, so he doesn't do it again.

Take a step back from the whole situation and maybe you'll see that your son was maybe more (or at least as) at fault (as) than your CM ?

I agree he shouldn't have run off, but if he is known to misbehave, then she should make sure he's safe.

Sounds like the CM shouted at him out of anger and worry, he's 4 and shouldn't be running off and hiding! I think she's within her rights to tell him he's naughty!y CM doesn't make the kids hold hands. They all behave despite it being manic.
I think the CM did the right thing and hopefully you will see that once you've calmed down.

I'm surprised the Police weren't called. If my 4yo was missing for this amount of time I'd expect a search party of more than a few 'older kids'

Sorry but I think you are in the wrong. Why haven't you taught your 4 yr old not to run off. He should know not to and to stay with the CM when on roads. He's at school so not a baby.

well whatever, I terminated our contract with no notice. Oddly enough I was not the first. She was shouting about the small claims court too but predictably it was al hot air.

You don't sack a CM. They are self employed

it is possible yes. I know that parents are not always kind too btw.
I had to sack our childminder who was enabling me to work as she was so very unkind. Do you want details?

not all CMs are kind to the children in their care, IME
Nice sunny and not all parents are kind, but you'll find the vast vast majority of CM's rea kind otherwise they'd get a different job. Are you implying the CM is so horrible the child ran away from her, rather than he was being a naughty 4 yo?

Whether she has reported it to Ofsted or not, you can. She shod absolutely know where the children are at all times and if a 4 year old is a runner, then holding her hand, rather than another child. Our local primary schools recommend me, because they know I am strict in safety. You should put your complaint to her in writing and check the small print in your contract.

not all CMs are kind to the children in their care, IME. does he run off with you OP?

I'm not a CM but have occasionally picked up other people's 4yos. I have always held their hands and would never consider letting them out of my sight. I'd not pay her the 4wks.

Of course they should be holding hands.... and if she has a few charges in her care identifiable by high viz surely?

Half an hour.... I lost my dd in ikea once for less than 5 mins felt like 3 hours.

It is the adult's responsibility not to lose the child. While a 4 yo might play up a bit, the CM should have the skills to manage that.

Report to ofsted and get a new CM.

Don't play her anything for notice, losing a child for 30 min is breech of contract.

You did the right thing in giving notice, I would also inform Ofstead.
But unless there is a clause like infinity says you are going to have to pay her unless you want to end up in the small claims court.
Be very careful what you say to others too because if you damage her business you may end up being sued for slander.

But you do need to accept some of the responsibility at 4 years old and at school your DS is old enough to know better than run off and not return when called. If he had behaved as he should have this incident wouldn't have happened.
The not holding hand thing, well that the problem with having a childminder your child won't get individual attention if she has other children.

He is 4 and at school he is not a baby. He really should know better and I would go ballistic at my 4 year old for running off if this happened.

If he is incapable of complying with simple safety instructions you are going to need to pay a one to one nanny to pick him up.

PS I am not surprised she shouted at him it must have scarred the crap out of her.

Hmm I'm not sure about blaming the child minder for this either. Your child ran off and hid. She looked for him and got help in doing so. What else could she have done? At 4, he should know not to run off.

I can understand your upset but Im on the fence im afraid. Your child id is 4 and at school, he should know not to run off. No wonder she td him off.

I'm not a childminder but a parent of an almost 2 yr old, who runs off all the time, I don't know how childminders keep track but schools are manic at drop off/pick up times and if ur son ran off its not her fault, there could have been 30people in the way so she couldnt get to him before loosing site of him, does she have a pushchair and younger ones to walk/push along its very hard to get through a crowd of people to get to a child that runs off, she wouldn't be able to hold all the kids hands and push a buggy, most school age children know about dangers of running off and know not to. Would u like ur child put in a buggy or on reins, I think she did the right thing and followed procedure trying to find him. U should pay her its not her fault it's not like she left him somewhere hehe ran off. Also he did need to be told off so he knows not to do it again.

most schools would not recommend childminders anyway but make sure the school knows about this too.