Help!! My CM lost my LO for half an hour, what would you do??

Jinx

Definitely shouldn't pay her for that half hour! (Sorry, couldn't resist)

I am a childminder and this is a daily fear of mine. I never mind more than four children at one time, even though I am registered for six, as I find it stressful enough as it is.

It can happen so quickly (it has never happened with me and I pray it never does). At the moment the LOs are napping (at ease) but we have a school run later and I hate it. On a dry day I can park close to the gate and just be a few steps away from the car but on a wet day I have to go to the school doors with a double pushchair and the other two have to hold on to it. It is a fuss getting the pushair out etc but it means the children are safer.

If this CM is usually reliable I do feel for her but if she is rubbish then she deserves to have her registration revoked. I would check she has reported the incident to Ofsted (or CSSIW etc).

As a parent I can understand your feelings too, that is why I feel this job can be so stressful.

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Absolutely no way to paying notice - that's ridiculous and her behaviour is pretty much gross misconduct with evidence from the school to support. So sorry to hear about this tho - just horrible for you xx

glenthebattleostrich lucky you that you have never lost a child. And yes, I think it is sometimes down to luck, rather than judgement. My son is not a runner normally, but one day, at the park, he crawled through a tunnel and ran. By the time I had got the buggy and dd and got to the other end of the tunnel, he had gone. It was the longest time in my life trying to find him and it was probably only about five minutes. He had gone back to the trampolines because they were his favourite. He would have been about three at the time. I could have done nothing differently that day. He had been happy playing in the area I was sat in, but changed his mind in a split second and was gone.

I think there are concerns about how the cm handled the situation, police should have been called and I am surprised none of the teachers who helped to search didn't suggest this or phone themselves to be honest. So while the staff are bad mouthing the cm, I think they need to be asking themselves why they didn't call the authorities themselves. Your son did deserve to be told off though. At 4, He is old enough to know he shouldn't be running off.

It is something that needs reporting though. So do phone ofsted, try to stick to the facts, don't get drawn into slagging her off, they will see the error of her ways and deal with it appropriately. I would hope she has reported the incident to them herself though.

I am not sure how you stand with not paying your notice though and I understand totally why you wouldn't want to leave your son there again.

Sunny what makes you think schools don't recommend CM's???? I actually look after DC's for 2 teachers at our local school,and the nursery teachers pass my number-and my CM friends number-on to parents who are looking for care.
I have actually been in a similar situation to the CM that OP is talking about.
It's the most terrifying situation,and it took me months to get over it.The parents didn't blame me in any way but I felt guilty for months.The mindee I had was a runner-he used to be a nightmare for his mum,so when I started to look after him I watched him like a hawk. He was 4.Personally, I think 4 is too old to have reins on, but I always made him hold the pushchair.Outside our school is a zebra crossing.Just by the gates was a parent-who we knew-with a new dog.The mindee commented on the dog,I said how lovely it was etc etc.As with most schools, there was a surge of people on the way out of the gates.The mindee was holding the pushchair as we crossed the road-and when we got to the other side, he had gone. After a quick scan of the pavement, i knew he wasn't on our side of the road,so i crossed back over the road-and found him back at the gate,fussing the bloody dog!.He'd let go of the pushchair,and turned back on the crossing.They move so quickly-and I didn't notice he'd gone.Maybe i was talking to another child on my other side.......maybe I was saying hello to someone......but I didn't see him go.I did tell him off-he needed to know he couldn't do it-and he held the pushchair all the way home.I told his mum what had happened,wrote an incident report and she signed it.She was fine about it-she knew what he was like (as she said) and she gave him a telling off too!
Can I just say though OP....please don't badmouth her to other people at the school.After my incident,I discovered that a friend of the mindees mum had told her that the mindee was actually running around the school in floods of tears,screaming my name and telling everyone that he was lost (which was impossible as there wasn't enough time for him to do that), and another friend told her that I was actually halfway home before I missed him.Chinese whispers are a horrible thing. Don't arrange to meet her at school to discuss it either-it's far too public and should be talked about in private.

rabbit I totally agree with that! A 4 year old in a buggy?! really? ! maybe on the very odd occasion on holiday or something? but even then I think they are a bit old. and reins?! they are for toddlers who aren't yet old enough to understand road safety and running off. like a pp said... when in school they go on walks in groups of 30 odd. They are expected to know to stay in line.

I am glad that you son is safe and well.

If it is a PACEY contract, the CM will have PACEY legal team advising and if necessary acting for her. Be aware you might hear from them acting on her behalf.

I dont understand why you would mention she has no pushchair either, as others have said 4 is not a baby and if most of the other dc are older then why would she?

I was going to say 3 cm in 4yrs seems a lot - but sometimes it skew happen that for whatever reason childcare doesn't work out

Well. Less likely to happen if she wasn't sending mixed signals about whether it's ok.

OP hasn't indicated this is regular behaviour with her son with anyone else.

Kids absorb what they observe. CM has set up a situation where such behaviour is ok for some kids. Unsurprising others tried it, with potentially awful consequences.

Your ds was naughty though, unless he has an he should no better than to run off and hide. What happened could have happened whoever was looking after him.

Littlebairn, I'd have arranged to meet the op to discuss. Bwhen you are a minder reputation is everything.

I'm a childminder and I let children run about lots after school but -

1. My school children have been in my care since they were babies and I have their siblings too.

1. All my children wear bright high VI's when we leave the house.

1. I've assessed the area and know it to be safe for the children to do so.

I've not lost a child, even for a couple of minutes, in 4 years and we get all over the place. Agree that the police should have been informed.

OP, I'd write her a letter of complaint then escalate it to Ofsted. She has to keep a complaints log and will be asked for it at inspection.

No it would have been unprofessional of her to have met you in the playground she did right there refusing.
The not accepting your call, Why should she? She no longer cares for your son and you are refusing to pay her what she is owed.
3 childminders in 4 years is a lot, have they all ended badly?

You are also assuming that the bus shelter was empty and therefore she could see.

Its quite possible that at school home time.... that completely transparent bus stop.... wasn't

The trouble with 'the four year old should know not to run off' is that the CM herself has undermined that by allowing older children in her care to do so.

OP I agree with the other posters who feel it's appropriate to leave her - I would be appalled if a CM lost my child for thirty minutes - and if it's chaotic at pick up then I agree strategies like hi viz jackets, reins, buggy or other things could help navigate the pickup frenzy - I agree CMS aren't superhuman, but for that reason the CMs I know do take precautions like that where children tend to trail off at pickup.

But - that being said, I really can't agree that there is something weird about her not changing her name with ofsted just because she married. Strikes me as a rather antiquated assumption that that is a problem! I know hordes of women who didn't change their name at all on marriage, or who kept maiden name for their professional life. I am one of them. I don't think that is sinister.

I don't blame her for ignoring you. She doesn't need to provide and policies, you have taken your son out of her care.

4 coming on 5 is not a baby. I really think you need to teach your son road safety. At dds schools, they take reception dcs out for walks in a big snake of 30 dcs! Imagine if he decides to bolt.

ps not surprised cm shouted at him, as a nanny if i lost a child and then found, i would have probably done the same, as im sure any adult whether parents cm or nanny would have done the same - its a mixture of shock and relief

on the fence here - yes very scary to think your child was missing for 30mins, but seems the cm did what she could, she took other children back to school, and did search party

at 4yrs old must be almost 4.5now if at school ie way birthdays go would have been 4 in august or before, but i expect a child that age to know not to run off and stay with adult

maybe she has spoken to ofsted/her insurance and they have advised her not to speak to you about the incident