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Original poster

MIL to be childminder - any concerns?

31 replies

ElleDubloo · 23/12/2014 18:20

We've been planning what happens when I go back to work, which will be full-time, when DD is 9 months old. MIL has offered to do the childcare, she'll retire early, in return we'll pay her £1000 a month. OH and I both work RIDONCULOUS hours and so it's a generous offer on her part, because she's aware she'll need to cover nights and weekends at times. (She doesn't like her current job and she absolutely loves DD.)

We've agreed it verbally among ourselves, but haven't confirmed it yet. And in the meantime I'm having some niggles in my mind, which I'm finding it very hard to express.

Would you have any concerns with the above arrangement?

What are some things we should be aware of / prepare for?

Legally, she's going to pay tax and NI contributions out of what we give her. Is anything else required?

What are some of the challenges on the more personal/emotional side? We get on well at the moment, but I'm already getting upset at the thought that DD will start loving MIL more than she loves me...

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Jackie0 · 23/12/2014 20:12

She will have to be registered if she working from her own house.
Her home will have to meet certain criteria, she will need to satisfy Ofsted ( if you are English) with her policies, risk accessments, fire drill etc
She will need public liability insurance.
Will she want to take on other mindees?
Will she have holidays?
What if she is sick?
Holiday and sick pay would usually be stated in your contracts.
There's quite a lot to it. Are you sure her becoming a childminder is the best route?
If you are using childcare vouchers she will have to be registered, but if you're not it might be easier to have her as a self employed nanny.

LuckyLopez · 23/12/2014 20:06

She doesn't need to be ofsted reg since she is the child's grandmother unless you wish to claim tax credits or use childcare vouchers.

I think you will have to employ her as a nanny though. I don't think this arrangement will be accepted as self employment for her.

jendot2 · 23/12/2014 20:05

No she will not have to be Ofsted registered as she is an immediate member of family. She can care for your dd in your house or hers.
If you want to pay her in childcare vouchers then she would need to join the Ofsted voluntary register but this is NOT the same as becoming a childminder, far less complex!!

I think if you have a good relationship with mil and similar ideas on parenting it would be perfect. My only concern would be if you have differing views etc.
I do think you need to ensure that you are very clear about all aspects of the arrangement from the outset. You could Draw up a basic contract. Decide who pays for and provides what, food, outings. What happens when mil wants a holiday? What happens if mil or dd are sick. Will she take her to playgroups, how much tv will she let her watch, will she feed her Greggs or homemade organic food etc etc

PotteringAlong · 23/12/2014 20:03

If she's your nanny you will need to pay her holiday pay etc - if she's your childminder she will need to be ofsted registered.

Greenfizzywater · 23/12/2014 20:01

And what if you want to end the arrangement for any reason? Can she undo he retiring, could she afford to retire without this income?

Is she the sort of MIL who will take on board the things you think are important, or the sort who will say that "this is how it was done in my day and your DH turned out fine". And are you going to be the sort of parents who are flexible about things, or who have a very set routine that you will be upset if she breaks? If you have your red lines (car seats etc) but are flexible on things like routine it probably has more chance of working.

Greenfizzywater · 23/12/2014 19:55

I'm not an expert, but my understanding is that you could pay her as a nanny, if she'll be mainly in your house, but if she'll be in hers she would be a childminder and have to be ofsted registered. I may be wrong but do check it out. Otherwise there are the issues about combining family and money, can you really have an employee/employer relationship, what happens if she disagrees with your parenting style etc.