Au-pair in London - duties and pocket money

Does the bus pass cover the whole of London? Because if so then its utterly reasonable you can get to pretty much all of London. By bus . if bus pass only gets you around local area then top up the travel card so the kid can actually see something of the city.

£80 plus phone plus bus travel seems fair for 3/7 so 20hrs a week

An after school nanny would be £240 + at Prob £12gross an hour

Generally an ap helps out am as well 730/9 am - so see if she can change her course. Plus every day course is a lot to do

Do you need to do the phone? Many ap and nannies have own phone

What happens in holidays?

Here is the government advice re au pairs:

Au pairs

Au pairs usually live with the family they work for and are unlikely to be classed as a worker or an employee. They aren’t entitled to the National Minimum Wage or paid holidays.

They’re treated as a member of the family they live with and get ‘pocket money’ instead - usually about £70 to £85 a week.

Au pairs may have to pay Income Tax and National Insurance, depending on how much pocket money they get.

An au pair isn’t classed as a worker or an employee if most of the following apply:
they’re a foreign national living with a family in the UK
they’re an EU citizen or have entered the UK on a Youth Mobility visa or student visa
they’re here on a cultural exchange programme
they’ve got a signed letter of invitation from the host family that includes details of their stay, eg accommodation, living conditions, approximate working hours, free time, pocket money
they learn about British culture from the host family and share their own culture with them
they have their own private room in the house, provided free of charge
they eat their main meals with the host family, free of charge
they help with light housework and childcare for around 30 hours a week, including a couple of evenings babysitting
they get reasonable pocket money
they can attend English language classes at a local college in their spare time
they’re allowed time to study and can practise their English with the host family
they sometimes go on holiday with the host family and help look after the children
they can travel home to see their family during the year

So I think OPs offer of £80 plus phone and travel is reasonable. Of course she will want to do language classes; that's part of the reason for her visit. But do you need to pay for the phone? Why not just pay for the travel card?

If you have a lovely room that would attract £700 -£800 in rent per month, then rent it out and get an after school nanny or use a child-minder. Financially that seems the best option.

I think what you must realise OP is that your problems are not the au pairs. Yes being a single parent is hard but I'm afraid that's your problem.
And I speak as someone who knows how hard it is. But the au pair needs to feel relaxed in the home and it sounds as if you are just resentful of her being able to do the classes etc.

Sounds a fair deal to me especially as hours are reduced with no cleaning duties. Is the bus pass not getting you anywhere as much as a travelcard (only not by subway?)

I otherwise feel your pain - have not been back on these boards since my last mat leave and forgot how nippy it can be. My forray yesterday was a good reminder,
but there are still a few kind helpful folks about.

OP, I just realised that £32 would be for the tube and bus. Sorry, I didn;t use a weekly pass for a long time, I just remember it was expensive. If £20 covers the bus pass, then it's reasonable.

I don't say that you should pay her more than £80. I just said that £80 wasn't on the high side of the pay (which is OK as you are flexible with her not doing the mornings and she knew the pay before she came) but you should cover at least the bus pass price, IMO.

Buses are also so much better than they used to be. Maybe give her an extra 5 to cover the occasional trip that the tube makes significantly faster? I assume she can get to the language course pretty easily by bus? Maybe she doesn't realise how good the buses are?

It doesn't seem very flexible if she is never able to do mornings. I think you have to ask around to find out what the going rate for au pairs is in your part of the country. And I expect a lot depends on how hard working and reliable she is. You could try meeting her half way and giving her say an extra £10 a week.

the wise I agree, plus I think its also parents who use childminders and nannies who are jealous of others having 'cheap' childcare.

The reality is that au pairs aren't that cheap when you include all the extra costs like increased utility and food bills, and losing a room which you could otherwise rent (££ in London). They do however provide flexibility that other childcare options do not.

I am sure that some of the attacks people get on au pair threads comes from nannies and childminders that see au pairs as cheap competition...

I think that some au pairs can be an emotional strain if things don't work out and it's not easy to get out of it.

It would be nice to offer the au pair the perfect deal but reality is that life is not perfect and even at work we accept cr*p because at the end of day you need to support your family and pay the bills.

You offer what you can, if she is not happy look for somebody else with less expectations. Job satisfaction is all about expectations and you seem to be starting with wrong foot already then.

I agree with Simmy on the fact that an au pair for you will be more than cheap childcare, especially if you are a single mum , it will give you the flexibility to nip to the shops for that pint if milk if she is in.

OP I also think what you're offering is good and fair, but you really do need to understand that traveling around London is very expensive - and having a paid travelcard is a nice bonus.
Tbh having an au pair - especially a great one - can decrease stress so much and I often think it's nice to have that added support, another person to rely on. If you're getting an au pair solely because you see it as cheap childcare then maybe you'd be better off with a live out nanny.

I think it all sounds fine - but I would pay for her travel card.
You want them to be out and about and not sitting at home all day!

I've never paid for language courses as I think au pairs are more motivated to go to them if they've paid themselves. But, that's a very full on language course. There are many more that are not every day or with such and early start. Has she paid for them already? We need the help in the morning sometimes as well, so that would not fit in with our schedule.

I also think you are being unfairly attacked.

We also pay £100, plus gym membership (£40 pcm) and the odd phone top up, but no travel (she uses the car) for Zone 3. Longer hours (some mornings as well, four days a week) and three kids.

I am definitely wondering whether an afterschool nanny would be better, as I don't think there is a huge cost difference in it if I do all the morning runs, and we don't have babysitting very often.

Op I think you are being unfairly attacked here.

80 plus a bus pass is more than fair. Babysitting is not included in the au pairs 25 hours.

For comparison we pay 100 per week, and gym membership, in central London. Au pair works 25-30 hours a week, plus babysitting. She is very happy.

The fact you are a single parent and busy is pretty irrelevant to your AP though.

I've sent you a DM.

Assuming the aupair does not need a visa to work, there is no 25 hour limit. That 25 hour limit was due to the visa that was needed many years ago. Check with homeoffice regarding visas and which nationalities don't need one.

I think if you ask for 20 hours at 4 a day, plus one babysitting a week plus possibly one or two morning runs, you may be over the 25 hours legally allowed.

I have to admit I used to pay this kind of money to our last aupair. However, it wasn't London, she was only needed 4 days, and it was in 2006. I don't know how rules or typical costs have changed since then? My aupair had a couple of cleaning jobs, and didn't need lessons,and also was allowed to babysit for others, so she was very happy as she saved a little overall.

I am sorry but i am not sure you will find anyone telling you that paying an Au pair in London £80 a week, plus not even the whole travel pass is a good deal for her. It is definitelly a good deal for you. Not for her

Totally fine. £80 is standard for 25 hours and you are not asking her to do anything out of the ordinary at all, I think it's a fairly straightforward aupair job. I have had aupairs for many years and to be honest, usually pay £90 a week but that's it, no extras. I used to offer a phone and SIM with £10 a month but they tended to already have a phone and contract. I have never paid travel unless they are travelling with DC which was rarely.

"She would be working only 4 hours a day for free food, accommodation and travel, plus get to study"

Well, you want her to work 4 hours a day, plus 2 mornings, plus some housekeeping, plus one babysitting. So not exactly the same. Do you pay her language course? she doesn't have travel included either. Only part of it. And she isn you can't underpay her and not give her all the benefit she could expect as an au pair because you think it's too expensive.

You might be better of with a live out nanny honestly.