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Original poster

Support when baby is born

28 replies

ourbabybeau · 08/11/2014 00:30

This is really a question for those who are already Mums!

This is my first baby and i'm dreading how I will cope once the baby is here- although of course very excited for the experience! We don't really have family we can/want to rely on heavily near by (more people who will pop in an out, put a few dishes in the dishwasher etc) and i'm thinking we are going to need additional support.

I want to be heavily involved in my child's upbringing from the start- but I am considering getting a maternity nanny. Does anyone have any experiences they can share? As I said I want more than anything to be a very big part of my child's life and I plan on breastfeeding (how will this work with a maternity nanny?) but it would be nice to have the opportunity to be able to take 10 minutes to have a shower and put some clean clothes on!

Also how do people cope housework wise?? I cannot live in clutter and dirt- nor can my husband (it would be very unfair to rely on him to do it as he works extremely long hours and it's doubtful he will be able to get time off work even). Do you hire cleaners? Learnt that once baby was born it didn't matter (I really can't imagine this being the case..)

I guess my ideal would be someone who would come in for a couple of hours during the day- look after the baby while I catch up on sleep/bathe and do some housework while i'm taking care of the baby- but I don't know if such a person exists?

I would love to hear other peoples experiences- either positive or negative.

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Artandco · 08/11/2014 09:14

I would personally get a cleaner x2 mornings a week. They can help with bulk of cleaning and laundry so you can both just do day to day stuff

Then look at a nanny just a few hours/ days a week. Somebody who used to nanny full time but now has own family would be ideal as they could drop own children at school and then come over say 9.30-12.30 x2/3 mornings. You could then aim to feed baby just before they arrive, then they can settle baby/ take for walk etc whilst you get an hour or two nap/ shower/ downtime.

I would get someone everyday or full day at this point as you won't know what baby is like, and will want to go and do things with baby anyway

Gusthetheatrecat · 08/11/2014 09:07

Of course people do cope without support, but equally people live without central heating but that doesn't mean we all have to live in icy houses out of a sense of solidarity...!
If you can afford help, why not get it in? Maybe your baby will be peaceful and happy and you'll be blissed out, and the extra help will feel extraneous. But if the money 'wasted' won't torment you, then this is the worst that can happen, and the other scenario is either you or your baby are feeling unhappy and you are very grateful to have someone to hand.
You can hire a post natal doula, or a mother's help, or a maternity nurse, all of whom will be experienced in helping out in the early days. God, I was a mess when my H went back to work and if there'd been someone coming in every day just to push the baby round in a pram whilst I slept for a couple of hours I might have wept with gratitude :)
In terms of which 'type' of person to hire, as I understand it, a post natal doula or a mother's help are more about providing assistance to you, whereas a maternity nurse will help more with the baby (but could definitely assist with breastfeeding if she brought the baby to you when it was hungry, could hand you pillows, bring you water etc and generally be supportive. She might even have some experience of bfing mothers and be able to give you tips if you were lucky).

SoonToBeSix · 08/11/2014 00:36

The vast majority of people cope without additional support, especially with only one baby. Babies nap quite a lot when they are newborn. Yes it would be nice to have someone to help out but not really a necessity.