Au pair just quit...

OP I am in awe that aupair cost is 1000 for you what is effectively 10 hours a week?
I pay 90 to my aupair and 5 monthly phone cheapest giffgaff deal, for 25 hours a week. I switched food shopping from tesco to Aldi, so my shopping bills only decreased  Dont know about electricity/gas consumption yet. Overall should nicely fit within 450-500. He pays for his English classes and transport (his own use). He seems happy enough.
Good luck with finding a new aupair. Dont listen to those who try to blame you on here, but rather be clear with your next contract (but do you really need an aupair??).

Oh Lordy, what an awful and yet ridiculous end to the issue! Poor you, how are you coping?

The whole point of having an au pair is to have coverage for the 'big holidays' and any sensible one, unless you have a mad job description, would realise this is part of the deal. Of course they dont all expect to bugger off at these times but you do have to up the rate for the extra time and ensure that you are giving them paid leave during time with you. There is a calculator on line to help you work out what they're entitled to.

Sorry for your predicament OP
I think employing an au pair to do 10 hours weekly and 40 in holidays is reasonable when you average out, but in practice unlikely to work.
Most will happily work term time then leave before big holidays I would have thought.
I think a nanny would suit you better. As others have said might suit a childcare student. You might have to cover morning school run but possibly could find someone after school, babysitting and holidays.

Sounds like you and your neighbour need a nanny share.

Oh my goodness, drama!!

Hope you have better luck next time and the new approach pays off!

I would set v clear expectations right up front, making sure everyone knows these are non negoiable and just the way life will be

Eg house 'rules', job description, contract w hours & holiday explicit + benefits, and a daily/ weekly schedule

It's so much easier to maintain rules & standards rather than change them afterwards

When screening candidates, don't take what they say as pure truth. People can have really unrealistic ideas of thenselves and what they will feel like / be like in certain circumstances. Eg when they happily agree with things that you yourself would have a problem with eg oh yes I'll get on a night bus at 3am and walk one mile cross country every Monday & Wednesday for a year so i can see my friends. Oh yes that will be great.

I agree with those who say you need to be really clear with the au pair about what you want from the arrangement.

I don't think getting ready to go out and leaving as soon as you return is unacceptable, nor is sleeping late on her days off. You specify that she was hungover - do you disapprove of her drinking too much?

Most au pairs would probably expect use of a car but if that wasn't the arrangement and she knew that, then fair enough that you didn't allow her to use it.

I don't think it's great that you 'forgot' the English lessons. Why did that happen?

I am sure some nannies would be happy with the afterschool/babysitting + full time school holidays. Maybe a student? You should give it a try ;)

The problem appears to be yourself, op not your au pairs.

Ah that's different. You say they hardly do any work, only 10 hrs a week etc. But actually they are working x4 that half the year during holidays

The nanny vs au pair question is very interesting if you only need limited childcare.

I currently have an au pair. The direct costs are probably more like £700 pcm (pocket money, food, car insurance, gym membership, phone bill).

The "savings" to our au pair of having free lodgings are probably c. £600 pcm (the cost of a double room per month in Zone 3, London).

Which means our au pair has a package worth about £1300 pcm.

Next year I can manage with after school only childcare for 4 days a week - say 3pm to 6pm = 12 hours.

16 hours x £15 = £240 p.w. or £780 a month.

So, my out of pocket costs would be the same(ish). On the one hand I get my house and spare room back. However, I also like having (good) au pairs for the cultural exchange, flexibility and occasional babysitting. Bad au pairs are a nightmare though, more so than bad nannies as you have to live with them.

I'm not sure what the answer is yet

True that lots of nanny's don't often babysit but it isn't impossible to find a nanny to only do after school care. Especially if they've got another 'mornings' job on at the same time with another family. It might be worthwhile advertising it on childcare.co.uk or simillar just to see what responses are like.

It may well be a total cost including food and bills hike. £100 pocket money a week is £400 give or take, plus food for another adult £150 a month depending what you buy and what she eats, electricity has gone up £40 a month with our current au pair, mobile phone we provide costs us £20 a month. If you take her out once a month on a day trip or for a meal or include her in a takeaway that's £20 or so, and we tend to do that 2 - 4 times a month so I effectively budget £100 on entertaining. Then if the OP is contributing to the English course it might explain the rest.

A nanny may work out cheaper but finding an after school nanny is a pain, they don't babysit and the OP says she like the cultural exchange aspect. I think communication rather than the set-up itself is at fault here.

Is there something putting you off using a live out nanny apart from what you originally imagined the costs to be?

If you really only use 10hrs a week then get a nanny - certainly won't cost you £1000 a month - seems slightly Ott !!!

If you offer something rather paid lessons or a car you need to follow through. So check Insurance first or have an older person over 25

If your child was asleep whats the problem
In ap getting ready to go out?

In her spare time - a lot of 10hrs a week - course she will want to earn extra money or go out

I agree it would be A LOT cheaper to hire a professional nanny?

But I suspect there may be a little bit of exaggeration in your £1000 p/m estimation.

Hi, do you have a really clear and detailed contract with hours, duties, expectations, etc in it?

I don't actually think age is a huge factor in finding a fabulous au pair, we currently have a fantastic one who is20 years old but seems incredibly mature and competent for her age (far more than I was at 20!), however we have also had a 26 year old who was ok, but not fantastic. However I'd check that they have spent at least a year living out of their childhood home so they are aware of housework, etc.

I think that the reason they are coming to the uk is far far more important than their age. It turned out that the 26 year old had recently split up from her long term boyfriend and was just looking for a way to escape her life back home, she was moody, unmotivated and a trial to live with ( luckily she was a summer au pair only on a 3 month placement, but we were all relieved when she left). Our current au pair speaks excellent English but is very keen to polish it to perfection, and the best way for her to do this is to live in the uk.

I'd also recommend looking for au pairs who have younger siblings (who are around the age of your dc) so that they are used to playing with kids of that age.

£1000 a month for an au pair working 10 hours a week? Surely is cheaper to pay a live out nanny.

Pay live out nanny £15 an hour, still only £150 a week, or £600 a month. Save £400 and get house back