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Original poster

3 sets of grandparents with each doing a day a week's childcare - too much??

32 replies

MATB1 · 19/10/2014 06:49

My parents are divorced/remarried and live close by, and PIL are a very short drive away.

I'm on mat leave with DD2 and already overthinking childcare for when I return to work.

With DD1 I did 4 days pw with her in nursery two days and then with one set of GPs the other two days on a three week rotation. I think this worked ok but I it took DD1 a long time before she comfortably went to her GPs because I think there was quite a long break in between seeing each one (we didn't always manage to see them socially in between their week of having her). I also think they spoiled her a bit too much for the same reason.

I don't yet know what work will want me to do but I suspect it will be four days pw (I would prefer three). If I have to do four then it's likely DH will also do four days and so either way we'd need 3 days childcare for the two DDs who will then be 3.6 and 12 months. The GPs have all intimated they would be happy to do a day a week each. I'm not convinced it's ideal though - here's my pros and cons

Pros

  • time with people they love/love them
  • gives DD1 the opportunity to move on to preschool because the GPs could do the drop-offs and pick ups (whereas DH and I won't be able to due to our working hours/commute).
  • eliminates our childcare costs
  • potentially less 'spoiling' of DDs as they would see them more

Cons

  • I worry it would be too confusing and inconsistent to have a different care provider every day
  • it's a big commitment for the GPs who are all in their 60s and I worry about it being too much for them as well as the logistical issues of finding alternate childcare if one is ill.
  • DD2 'missing out' on nursery. I really think DD1 has learnt a lot from being at nursery and as DD2 is a July baby I'm keen for her to do the same in an attempt to minimize the supposed disadvantages of being a summer-born.
  • selfishly, I think we'd have less willing weekend babysitters if the GPs were doing a day a week rather than the two days every three weeks as before (not that we go out a lot!!!)

Anyway I know I'm at risk of overthinking this but it's woken me up at 6am in the morning needing to get this off my chest. If anyone has been in a similar situation I'd be keen to hear...

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hollie84 · 19/10/2014 14:35

DS2 is looked after by me, DP, a CM and a grandparent on different days and seems to manage fine.

guineapig1 · 19/10/2014 14:33

See, I think it would be fine! Obviously there will be a bit of settling in etc but if your dc1 is happy with the three sets if gp's surely dc2 will take his or her lead from dc1. I think grandparent care is great if it works. I accept that everything won't be as it is in a nursery but if the DC have virtually one to one care by people who care about them as much as you do (not suggesting for a sec that they won't be well cared for in nursery btw!) and get a chance to foster a lovely relationship with them all surely it is win win?

Artandco · 19/10/2014 14:19

I would consider it, but only if they come to your house for the childcare. That way at least the children have same routine/ beds/ home/ toys etc.

Or you could book both children into nursery 3 mornings a week. Then ask each set to do 3 afternoons on 3 week rotation. So mon/tue/ weds both go to nursery say 8-12am, then grandparents pick up and have 12-6 at your house.

That way grandparents get less tired as not full on days, can bring back, give lunch and give nap/ quiet time, then just a few hours to pass in afternoon. They also can plan easier as have 1 week on, 2 weeks off each.

bigkidsdidit · 19/10/2014 14:07

I wouldn't do it. I am a bit fanatical about consistent care though! I think it can get terribly confusing.

Crowen85 · 19/10/2014 14:04

That's a lot, unless they all had a meeting a set the same boundrys etc. Or it could be caois and confusion.

LuckyLopez · 19/10/2014 11:37

That's 5 different primary carers in 5 days - Too much ime as a childcare provider.

HSMMaCM · 19/10/2014 10:59

I would say the less caregivers the better, although this doesn't answer your question at all. Not sure whether the three week rotation or the one day a week each is better. I would say for the grandparents the rotation is better. Not sure about your dc though.