Au Pair and Food!

FlorenceMattell - that is true - as a Guider I do allow £5 ppn at camp, but that includes the gas and wood supplies for cooking on, and all the cleaning and first aid supplies. PLus a chip supper one night - although this year we made a profit as I got a good deal at the chip shop :)

u-pir=meant to be au-pair

Radiohelen-you are absolutely right.The next thing is if u-pir is good looking,fit and amazing than that's not good too because of partner/husband....well,poor girls ,they don't stand a chance.

@radiohelen completely agree!

Ha ha at Quad

I feed 5 people and 2 cats and do not spent £250+ a week!!

Holiday you are right, in Guiding we allow £5 per person per 24 hours ,so yes £35 per week. Covers three main meals, and am and pm snack , bedtime drink plus extra loo rolls.

£15/20 to feed an adult for a week? I think it's unrealistic. Much closer to £35/week.

Wow... there is some quality fat shaming going on! I presume your cheap childcare was OK Johnogroats, even though the girl didn't eat in a manner pleasing to you? Would it have been different if you'd got a male AP who was sporty but still mounded up his food and shovelled it in?
I thought the point of Au Pairs was to allow people to get help with childcare while allowing a young person to experience living with a UK family and helping out.
This thread seems to show that people want a paid for role model, in the right dress size, who doesn't eat too much, can chauffeur and entertain kids at your convenience.

Karoleann. I know where you are coming from. After the experience with our large AP, we always specify that we need sporty APs.

I don't have issues with my weight, but I was beginning to have them when she was with us. The way she shovelled food in, and mixed up the meat, veg and pasta - or whatever - into a massive sloppy mound, revolted me. I stopped eating with her and avoided meals. I lost 5 kg!

luop - I don't have a problem putting that in writing at all. There are only downsides to obesity and there are numerous health problems associated with being obese and i wouldn't want the children to have an unhealthy role model.
I also would not employ someone who was a smoker.
The majority of obese people are that way because the eat too much of the wrong thing and don't exercise enough. I didn't say that you have to be a size 10 to be fit - i was using myself as an example.

Karoleann-I don't believe you would put that actually in writing. It's IMO very insulting. Just because you are size 10 it doesn't mean you are fit I would never say that to anyone.
OP ,you knew when you took au-pair that she will be part of your household,hence the payment.If she is eating the way you said,I would talk to her about food budget rather making her uncomfortable and bad.
If is me,I would set three meals and in between fruits (not the whole bowl but piece or two through the day) rest £10 extra on her extra things (extra fruits,sweets.....).
If you don't talk to her you will end up paying more for food than her actual wages.
Also encourage her to go out in her spare time,walk more so she doesn't think about food....If it's not working,it's time for change....

Hm, my shopping increased about 15-20 per week since aupair arrived, so this is not unreasonable provided you cook from scratch and don't buy prepared meals/take aways. I normally don't.

Could you say that food money is a bit tight and you want to make sure she has nice things she likes too without kiddies eating etc (white lies!), so alongside normal meals you will cook for her, you are also going to give her a £10 snack allowance that she can shop for her bits with and put her in charge of it?

We had one AP (of about 10) who was a size 22 (she was 105kg) and ate loads and loads. More than DH who is over 6 foot and very fit, and certainly more than any of the 3 male APs we have had subsequently.

She had big food issues - ate constantly - and had no energy or ability to walk the mile to the boys' then school. It did become an issue, and although I was paying (at her request) for Weightwatchers' classes, I did explode when I found that she'd eaten a massive bag of salmon fillets.

I hope it works out OP - the one above left, and to be fair to the others, none have cost us anything like as much as she did.

Fruit doesn't fill up for long

Offer cereal /toast for breakie

Make sure meals have carbs so she can fill up on rice pasts potato etc

Very much agree with others that £15/20 extra a week is too little.

KoalaDownUnder summed it up for me rather nicely, when she said "An extra 15 quid a week sounds dirt cheap if she's a good au pair, an extra 50 seems more reasonable, actually"

Given that, in your OP you did suggest that money was very tight, OvertiredandConfused.

"As with many people, our monthly budget is fairly tight."

"not lots of spare cash and counting the pennies very carefully towards payday"

"we can't afford (family curry) as I've spent £50 more on food this week than I usually do"

Perhaps, as the margins are so tight, you really cannot afford to have an Au Pair. It may be as simple as that.

[Although it could be a money management issue, if most of the family are eating large handfuls of raspberries and blueberries every morning].

By the way, if ... as you say ... you are not judgmental about her size, why did you feel the need to mention it in two separate posts?

and with regard to ize, my teens eat a lot more than that and they are thin whereas I eat half as much probably even a third of what they eat and struggle to stay a 10/12 despite lots of exercise.

That type of breakfast is expensive and doesn't seem to fill my dc up, they will say that they are hungry not long after. I usually bulk it out with a handful of granola or muesli as well. Where is she from? what kind of breakfast is typical? Could you offer cereal as well? thats cheap and filling, Weetabix or shreddies, and buy bigger cartons of milk. I know from during the school holidays that the dc would be fuller for longer with Weetabix or shreddies with half a banana sliced and a handful of blueberries or other berries, than if it was just yogurt.

Also her size is nothing to do with it - "her choice"?! I'm a size 6 and I eat like a horse, it's not my choice to be fairly thin, is just the way I am. I feel like you are assuming her size is because of the amount of food she eats, and therefore she should eat less.

Her breakfast sounds normal to me. If I had yours, I'd be starving by lunchtime. I agree with pp that the things you're buying are expensive. Can you bakea huge batch of muesli, stock up on cheaper filling foods?

The AP's breakfast you described is absolutely normal. I think you might be underestimating 3-4 tablespoons of yoghurt!

I think I agree with betterthanabox. An extra 15 quid a week sounds dirt cheap if she's a good au pair, an extra 50 seems more reasonable, actually.

I am probably not a good yardstick, though, as I don't eat cheaply in the first place and food where I live in Australia is expensive - but my mind is boggling at the thought of being able to feed a person for 15 quid a week!

Lazy racist stereotypes and fat shaming. Good one posters.
Op the food you buy is very expensive. Berries and juice and meat are all very expensive. Buy different kinds of food if you want to save money. This person is being paid way under what any other child care provider is. I don't think you should be moaning about how much she eats. She has to live with you, don't make her awkward and don't make her uncomfortable and hungry. Just buy better and cook more.

Get a French aupair. They don't tend to eat much.

I really don't get why you had to spend £50 more on food than you would usually do when you have an AP.

You say when you usually have an AP, you would usually expect to see an increase of about £15-20 per week (which seems a bit tight to me) on top of your normal family shop.

So what on earth are you buying to spend £50 more than that?

The extras you list, "8 eggs, three packets of ham, a packet of bacon, 3 cartons of OJ, 3/4 of a roast chicken, 6 apples,and the homemade brownies" come to no where even close to £50, unless the homemade brownies are gold-plated.

For £50 you could give her two dozen (24) free range large eggs £5, 4 x 235g packs of honey roast ham £6, 4 x 250g packets of bacon £8, 8 x 1L cartons of pure orange juice £7, 2 extra large whole chickens £10, 20 apples, and £10 worth of homemade brownies!

Is she eating that much extra food?