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Original poster

Would this reference put you off employing this nanny?

35 replies

Tentimesten · 10/08/2014 07:20

So we second interviewed a prospective nanny recently, went well, and I gave her positive vibes and said I needed to check her references and would let her know next week.

She has lots of written refs (about 5) and they are all good. I have now spoken to 3 of these referees and one person (who she was employed by for 2 years) was absolutely 100% glowing (they all loved her, grandparents loved her etc), one was pretty positive (although only employed there for 6 months) but the other, although having given a positive written reference (using phrase 'fantastic nanny', although looking back, written ref is quite carefully worded eg. nanny let go because of 'change of circumstances') was quite negative on the phone. She emphasised the nanny's good points - eg. punctual, reliable, no sick days, good cooking, no concerns about children's safety at all, followed instructions, but felt that she wasn't creative enough and didn't strike up a good rapport with her children, didn't have enough zest or use initiative to think up activities, every day was the same and she was concerned her children weren't being stimulated enough. She said the nanny wasn't fun enough and her son didn't bond with her at all. She did say that it was probably just a personality thing and that she could be a good nanny for another family. Interestingly the other positive reference said that she has asked the nanny to use her initiative more and the nanny had really tried but in the end the mum had just suggested activities each day and the nanny had followed through on that really well and done what the mum had said.

There are still two referees who haven't called me back yet - one of whom she was with for 6 years so I haven't made a decision yet. But of course hearing a negative reference does put me off.

I'm really torn about what to do - it sounds like the lack of creativity etc is the other side of the same coin of following instructions to the letter, being v calm and unflappable etc (all of which I like). I'm worried though we will regret it if we take her on and she is not able to engage my son (same age as the son of the employer who gave a negative ref) but I'm also worried we might not find anyone else as good, as she is very experienced and has long connections with previous families. Nanny told me she has two other job offers but is keen to work for us and I said I would let her know by Monday after speaking to referees.

Any thoughts?

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SquidgyMummy · 10/08/2014 07:43

If you make up your mind, I would call her this evening,(when she is not at work.) Explain your concerns about it being an important year for your DS and offer solutions. If she has other offers, you need to show that you value her

SquidgyMummy · 10/08/2014 07:40

Explain situation to OT and ask him/her for more input / support / resources. Have nanny in on the meetings so that she is clear what she needs to do.

Original poster
Tentimesten · 10/08/2014 07:40

SquidgyMummy - X-post that is kind of what I feel as well! That it will work if I research and lay out activities etc. Which I can do, and maybe I will like having that control over matters.

OP posts:
SquidgyMummy · 10/08/2014 07:38

I think the creativity thing is a bonus, if you are prepared to spend a bit of time researching projects for her to do with your DC's, then you will be fine.
She sounds great to me; reliability is the key

Original poster
Tentimesten · 10/08/2014 07:36

Thanks for replies! Thing is, I'm not particularly creative myself and actually don't think children need constant adult stimulation and my elder child will be going to preschool 5 mornings per week, so plenty of creative stuff there BUT elder child has an additional need for which he has Occupational Therapy and nanny will need to engage him in activities to help implement a home programme. Potential nanny is aware of this and seemed happy with it, and activities will be suggested by OT but some creative thinking/initiative on this side of things would be very valuable to get my son engaged. TBH this is the main thing that is worrying me as it's important year for my son.

But that said we've not interviewed anyone I liked as much yet.

OP posts:
Snog · 10/08/2014 07:27

No nanny will be perfect and it sounds like you are building up a good picture of her strengths and weaknesses. She sounds like a good nanny overall to me. Reliability would be v v important to many employers and a good cook is a bonus!

cansu · 10/08/2014 07:27

I would not be worried about this tbh. It sounds like you liked her, she is more than competent, is reliable and has plenty of experience. Why don't you ask her to spend a day with you so that you can see how she interacts with your ds? Perhaps a day out somewhere where you can step back a bit. The creativity wouldn't worry me really at all.

DoItTooJulia · 10/08/2014 07:24

I think I would ask her about it.

Also, can you cope if you do end up having to give instructions for most activities? Are you creative? Would it provide a balance or will it just be a pain?

She sounds like a good nanny. I wonder of she is more creative etc in the right environment?

Mumof3xox · 10/08/2014 07:22

From the other I wouldn't pay too much attention to the negative

Or perhaps discuss with the nanny?

Mumof3xox · 10/08/2014 07:21

If it's one negative out of six when you hear back fr