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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Childminder wants ££ when children are not there! Is this normal!

79 replies

Suffolkblush · 16/07/2014 11:21

I'm going back to work Mon-Wed in a few weeks. My OH works away for a fortnight at a time on the rigs. My 3 yo daughter is at the local pre-school and my son is 7m old.

When my OH is away I would like a CM to care for DS full time and provide wrap around care for my DD before and after pre-school. I would like to use the service week on week off so that OH can also get time with the kids when he is home.

CM wants £full when the kids are there £half for the hours my daughter is at pre-school and £half when the kids aren't there at all to 'reserve' their spots. So essentially I'm looking at having to pay her £123 a week to do nothing whilst my OH spends time with the kids.

She's the only CM in my village and going elsewhere will probably mean moving my DS out of pre-school which I would like to avoid.

Is this charging style normal practice? I understand she has a business to run but it seems a bit excessive... capitalism at it's most lucrative!

Can anyone advise please?

Many thanks

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Original poster
Suffolkblush · 17/07/2014 09:49

Seems like a bit of both from what you guys are saying? It's run out of her home but she has two assistants (an older fully qualified lady and a younger trainee style lady). There were six other children there when we popped in, although I'm not sure how many she has on her books.

Anyway, clearly I'm confusing the two and my comment about my pal Mrs D was mis-directed at a (very) wrong crowd. Apologies to all CMs who are not nurseries or independent businesses.

All the cm's I've been to see here in Norfolk had huge houses and separate rooms for the childcare setting/sleeping/eating, one even had a newly built summer house in her garden just for the kids. Probably why I linked the two. These are my only experiences of childminding settings.

Tanith - Thank you x. I can imagine it's not nice to be regularly pinned as raking it in when from this thread the majority of cm's are making a living just like the rest of us. It's one of those weird thing as my cm's hourly rate is just £4.10 which is a pittance, but when you add it all up the monthly rate is over £600 which seems like a huge amount. But like you say, totally justified for the safety and happiness of the children.

TBH I think she deserves more, I've spent the last four years at home with my kids and I know what a handful (read: nightmare) they can be. Anyone brave enough to look after kids for a living deserves cake and more everyday!

OP posts:
PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair · 17/07/2014 09:25

OP, there's a huge difference between a nursery and a child minder. You are getting confused about child care services and child minding, which is one of the reasons people have become so defensive. As CMs we are self employed, usually single person operations, with a finite number of spaces to fill and therefore a finite earning capacity.

The friend to whom you refer is a business woman who owns several businesses and presumably could own as many more as she wished, with infinitie earning capacity for much less hands on work with children.

I'm not dismissing her achievements as I'm sure she works hard, but she is not a childminder, nor anything like one, so your comments about her holiday home to a group of people working as actual CMs, earning £3-5 an hour per child are not only insulting but irrelevant.

Hope that explains why you have been given a hard time as well as your overly aggressive and judgmental tone.

adsy · 17/07/2014 09:19

- Not sure if I'm honest, think they are possibly more of a nursery business thing? I know they are based in two different towns and she doesn't work at either full-time. Until yesterday I have to say I wasn't even sure what the difference between the two were as most that I went to see were surprisingly similar in size/staffing/kids attending - There are more staff at my new childminders than there are at my daughters pre-school! but then I live in North Norfolk so the big city nurseries are probably on a different scale altogether

are you sure that your lo is going to a CM?
I would be very surprised if the CM had more than 1 assistant. Is it based in her own house?
I think you might be confusing CM's and small independent nurseries.

Tanith · 17/07/2014 09:16

Does sound more like nurseries than childminding settings, tbh.

I apologise, too. I agree that my comment was unnecessary. To explain a little about just why you got the reaction you did, we childminders have been reading unpleasant comments about extortionate childcare costs and accusations of for months, both on social media and in news reports, when the reality is very different.

Fwiw, I don't think the replies to you were particularly nasty. They were hitting back (yet again!) at the perception that childminders are raking it in, even if that wasn't what you intended to say.

Glad you got it sorted with your childminder. You really do have a good deal there - one I couldn't afford to offer.

Original poster
Suffolkblush · 17/07/2014 08:52

Adsy - Not sure if I'm honest, think they are possibly more of a nursery business thing? I know they are based in two different towns and she doesn't work at either full-time. Until yesterday I have to say I wasn't even sure what the difference between the two were as most that I went to see were surprisingly similar in size/staffing/kids attending - There are more staff at my new childminders than there are at my daughters pre-school! but then I live in North Norfolk so the big city nurseries are probably on a different scale altogether.

Forresitters1 - Appreciate your point. What I intended as mild humour (written about a person I know and who has found the whole thing very funny) has obviously - but understandably - been taken in the wrong way by many, hence my later post to try and explain a bit better when I logged on and saw all the hoo ha! From some of the cm comments on here though charging policy is obviously a query that comes up quite often. All three of the mums I spoke to personally yesterday were as perplexed by the idea as I initially was.

Tanith - I did not refer to the cm herself (or cm's in general) as unreasonable at any point, and nor would I. She is, by the way. is a very nice lady whom I hope to use for the next five years! Whilst the disagreeable comments posted in reaction to my original post are understandable due to misunderstanding. You took another swipe after I posted my explanation, something I think that was totally unecessary and could have no other motive but to be derogatory... However, I posted back first thing this morning without thinking and my response was probably equally unecessary so I apologise. I was peed off at being accused of 'back pedaling' when all I was trying to do was explain myself.

As I said in my earlier post I meant no harm or nastiness by any of my comments and I was surprised by the extremely aggressive reactions of some posters. I referred to the policy of charging for non-days as possibly excessive, again, out of the fact that I have NO experience of childminding services. Which was why I posted here in the first place!

In any case I really don't think it's now worth a public spat. I got the info I needed, costs have been agreed and the kids are booked in (with a holding deposit) so all's well that ends well. I can happily say that arranging childcare has been the most confusing and stressful experience I've had in a while and the kids haven't even started there yet!

Think it's an ice cream for breakfast sort of day...

OP posts:
adsy · 17/07/2014 07:59

How does she own 2 childminding businesses?
Childminding means working from your own home and one person ( perhaps with assistants) looking after a maximum number of children.
I don't understand how she can be 2 people working from 2 homes at once?

Tanith · 17/07/2014 07:46

Oh Suffolkblush, did you miss the dry humour in my post? Wink

For examples of "nasty, snippy, judgemental comments directed at people you don't know", look no further than your own.

CheerfulYank · 17/07/2014 07:37

When I was a CM I had a notebook where the parents wrote what time their child was dropped off and what time he/she was picked up and then just multiplied that by my hourly rate. I also charged for Christmas Day and Thanksgiving although I was closed.

However, every other CM I've known has done what you describe.

Forresitters1 · 17/07/2014 07:30

I think it's important to really think about and read through what you've written before posting as some people can be very judgemental and at the same time some comments/posts can be rude or offensive.
After reading this, I found most of your post quite derogatory and that immediately got my back up like some of the other CM's on here. I'm not trying to be nasty but simply saying that maybe if you had chosen a better way of wording things or just not mentioning some of the shocking things you have written on here - there would be no backlash. Some things are only meant for private conversations with friends over a cuppa. Public forums are exactly that - public and you need to be aware that if you are offensive in any way, it will come back to bite you!
Btw I am a CM who would charge full daily fee for the days requested regardless of attendance - just like most nurseries and other CM's as it is very common practice to do so. I would also charge a holding deposit or retainer fee depending on the start date so I know the parent is serious and incase I have to turn other business away.

Original poster
Suffolkblush · 17/07/2014 06:46

You know what Tanith, you're right. Shame on me for having a rather dry sense of humour. My pal was actually quite offended at what I wrote and she'd like to to clear things up... She does not own a childminding business. She owns two, and a beauty salon too, she also thinks it might be worth mentioning that her villa has four bathrooms, a private pool and an ocean view. And if you're that desperate for fivers Tanith that you have to spend your time posting nasy, snippy, judgemental comments directed at people you don't know. She'll lend you one. How's that for a "backpedal"?

OP posts:
Darquesse · 16/07/2014 23:27

Tanith I almost chose that name, love it!!

Darquesse · 16/07/2014 23:26

I see you have sorted it all now but yep totally normal.

DiaDuit · 16/07/2014 23:14

Or buy a villa in spain, Tanith. Wink

Tanith · 16/07/2014 23:10

D'you know, if I had a fiver for every poster who tried to backpedal by claiming they were "only joking", I could probably retire!

Original poster
Suffolkblush · 16/07/2014 22:31

Many thanks to those who let me know it was normal practice. I popped in to see the CM this afternoon and we got everything sorted over a cuppa.

As for those ladies who seem to be outraged by my questions I really don't think there is any need to turn a request for information into a nasty session! I wasn't asking to be difficult. I've never used a CM before and was merely checking whether what she was proposing was normal or unusual. I did not at any point accuse her of being unreasonable as some if you are suggesting. Turns out it is and I have absolutely no issue with that, but it makes sense to check right? Isn't that what forums like these are supposed to be for?

As for the capitalism and villa in Spain comment, it was merely sarcastic humour and should be taken as such! The people in question are good friends of ours and have been for some 10 years - I'm sure she'll get a good laugh at my expense at some of the rather excessive reactions here!

OP posts:
Marylou62 · 16/07/2014 19:53

I agree with all the above....would you have taken a job where you only work and get paid every other week? As an x minder, I can assure you that I earnt less than MW. Why don't you send them part time when your DH is home. Better continuity for the DCs.

HavanaSlife · 16/07/2014 16:40

You are lucky she is giving you a discount

adp73 · 16/07/2014 16:38

Sorry meant to say 'would not'

adp73 · 16/07/2014 16:35

Thanks ladies, saves me the trouble of looking elsewhere!

You know I've always wondered how one of my husbands colleagues could afford to commute from Spain where his family has a 6 bedroom villa. Now I know... turns out his wife runs a childminding business!

Charming!!! I would be charging you full fee for the weeks you children are with your husband because I would be keeping your space open for you to use. However I would even sign a Contract with you with that attitude, I am worth more than that!

Lucylouby · 16/07/2014 14:08

Op, you have come across as being really rude. If your work turned round and said they didn't need you for two weeks out of four, so you wouldn't be paid would you be happy? You would be unlikely to find another employer willing to take you on for those weeks your first job didn't need you for, could you afford to live when you weren't being paid? If you don't like the terms set out by the cm, find somewhere else, but don't be surprised if you struggle and can only find someone full price the whole time, as that's what you would get from me.

And really, compared to someone working in the oil business, I earn very little as a cm, no where near paying tax last year, for working full time all year, with 2 children. If we were to buy a villa in Spain it would be nothing to do with my earnings.

fudgesmummy · 16/07/2014 13:47

I'm a childminder and if your children were with me I would be charging you full pay.you have got a good deal there so be great full!

PhoebeMcPeePee · 16/07/2014 13:44

Well lucky me earning £11k from childminding this year. I feel so rich Confused

vicki2010 · 16/07/2014 13:44

On come on, use your loaf!! Your childminder has a certain amount of spaces to fill, you want one but only want to use it and pay when you want it!
What planet are some people on? We see this so often, why would a childminder, who may I add pays insurance and business running costs not charge you for their child's space just because you don't want to send them one week?

A space is a space and you must pay regardless if you send them or not! If you had a friend who wanted the exact alternate weeks to you I'm sure your childminder would accommodate but she's not a charity!

Why do some parents who work out of the home think it's ok to disregard the childminders occupation and earnings because they don't want to pay for the place? Childminders were not invented to subsidise other peoples Childcare/earnings! It makes me really really cross when parents think like this.

I would like to add, I am a childminder and am as accommodating as I possibly can be. I have some part time parents who only pay for what days they send their child but they also know and run the risk of the space not being available when they want it as I have ad hoc contracts with them, if I'm offered work elsewhere I can then take it as am not committed to provide the space as they are not willing to pay for the luxury of securing it.

Your childminder seems MORE then reasonable by only charging Half fees when your child isn't there!

And could you please refrain from being so ignorant by thinking we earn enough for Spanish villa's! What a totally ridiculous thing to say! ConfusedConfusedConfused

HSMMaCM · 16/07/2014 13:40

I would charge full fee for all the days. Lucky you, to find such a generous CM.

TheLastThneed · 16/07/2014 13:40

I think it's completely reasonable. As mentioned above, you need to look at it from her point of view. She needs a regular income to pay her bills just like you do, and she could have 2 full time children instead of yours part time.

I pay £50 per day whether DD is there or not and she is at pre-school for part of that.