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Original poster

Recently widowed and pregnant, please help me with childcare options, nannies, mother's helps etc.

54 replies

grobagsforever · 12/06/2014 08:56

I am recently widowed and 8 months pregnant, with 3 year old DD. I'm coping by being practical so I'm looking at my chilcare options. DD currently in part time nursery, starts school in September. I think I will take six months maternity leave. Other relevant points:

  1. I have a spare room (small double) on a separate floor but only one bathroom. I would refit this to make it as nice as possible.

  2. Could not provide car but live in central Guildford near excellent transport, school is very walkable

  3. I don't need nanny to do housework as I think I can manage to fund a cleaner for a while

  4. I will probably return to work 4 days a week. I work 15 mins walk and can be flexible with hours, but will need someone to do early/late cover sometimes.

  5. I will probably want a couple of evenings babysitting.

I am thinking I might as well employ someone full time once the baby arrives, thinking they can do days with baby and I do nights. I will be BF but will consider top ups so I can get a sleep in day. So it wouldn't be a sole charge role until six months. I might need a fair bit of flexibility in the first six months e.g Saturday morning overtime.

I guess I need a live in nanny for flexibility and also to reduce cost to me. Would the job appeal to anyone given the modest accommodation? What level of flexibility is reasonable to expect? Could I swap time off during day for babysitting in eve by mutual agreement each week? And what is the total cost to me likely to be? I've seen salaries of £350 gross for live in, is this about right?

All info and suggestions welcome.

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nannynoss · 12/06/2014 10:14

Hi grobags, so sorry to hear about your DH. I was also following your other thread. Well done for thinking practically even at a time like this.

I am a live in nanny and what you have proposed sounds perfectly fine and 'normal'. Nannies expect to be flexible, as long as we're kept in the loop, we will help as much as possible. And being live in does obviously mean that extra bit of flexibility. (Eg I don't mind babysitting late because I'm in my own home and can carry on as normal once children are asleep and go to bed myself if it's really late). Again, swapping time off in day for evening is easier with live in. A live out nanny might not want to go all the way home for a few hours then have to come back IYKWIM. But I quite like it when this happens to me as I can just pop upstairs and put gym clothes on and go for a run!

It is also very common for a nanny to start a job shared-care while mum is on maternity leave.

I would try advertising on Gumtree and nannyjob.co.uk first to get an idea of interest.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 12/06/2014 10:03

Hello Grobags, I was also on your other thread.

I hope your dear husband's funeral went as well as it could have and that you are looking after yourself.

I was an au-pair years ago, and what you suggest sounds fine to me! (although I did it years ago, so things may have changed)

Good luck, and more Flowers

PacificDogwood · 12/06/2014 09:07

grobags, I thought this might be you {hugs}

How long will your maternity leave be?

I think your set up sounds perfectly fine.
We have a nanny who is not live in (she lives in the next road to us), but has been a godsend in terms of flexibility and helping out when needed.
The single most important thing when choosing a nanny IMO is having a gut-feeling that she is right. Yes, references and all that, are important, but I'd take a less qualified person who is right over somebody with all the paperwork but with less good of a 'fit' to the family.

Cost will v much depend on where in the country you are - hopefully somebody who knows about Guildford will be along.

I think it is good that you are a being practical, but how you feel about things (having somebody in the house with you) may well change still with time.

I don't know what to say regarding your DH's death. It is truly beyond words, but fwiw you have been in my thoughts lots.
Thanks

Original poster
grobagsforever · 12/06/2014 09:00

I'd refit the bedroom, not the bathroom!

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