Recently widowed and pregnant, please help me with childcare options, nannies, mother's helps etc.

Just sending you my deepest sympathy.
I'm close to you. Do let the school know the circumstances (and never be afraid of bursting into tears on them - I have on a few occasions and the Heads even keep a box of tissues for Mums in their office).

The Nanny Grapevine is possibly the best route for getting good Nannies, and there are some great ones around (also some really good CMs and Nurseries for later).

So sorry to hear this. Just to say that we recruited a nanny for a difficult family situation - planning a second pregnancy which we knew would be a medical nightmare, me in hospital a lot, probably in bed for the entire pregnancy, a high risk of severe post natal depression. We were straightforward about this in the ad and asked about it at interview both on phone and in person and it was really helpful. Keep interviewing until you think "yes". I am now v ill and our nanny, who wasn't at all the most qualified or experienced, is a lifesaver, a huge source of emotional stability for DS. I hear them laughing together all the time and it is a massive weight off my mind.

Grobags I've been messaging lots of friends in childcare but haven't found much unfortunately. Definitely think those childcare websites are your best bet. I am local so happy to help in any way I can

You will get a list of names in your area plus the local head of Surrey should contact you

Of you want me to add you to the way group on Fb then let me know your real name via pm x

Keeping your mind busy helps I found. Obviously nothing will stop you thinking about dh (im so glad you managed to marry in hospital) but bitter sweet you won't celebrate 1st wa - but having something to focus and concentrate on helps - hence why I went back to work 3weeks after my dh died

Have you joined way yet? Think it's £20 a year and there will be a local rep and meet ups near you

I am nearby (about 20 mins) too and happy to help if I can. I have a nanny so will ask her if she knows anyone looking. I think you will get lots of interest in the job, Guildford is a fantastic location and there aren't that many full time roles going.

I am so sorry, thinking of you.

Just wanted to say I am so sorry Grobags. Guildford was my home town for 35 years and I am only an hour away now. If I can help with anything practical or otherwise please let me know.

Doesn't matter what other people do. It's what you need or want to do and tbh you get what care you can afford

I'm a Night nanny to baby twins. Mum also has a full time nanny to help her as she said she has the money so wants to make it easiest for her - some people give her a hard time As she doesn't work

She's gets help and advice. We get a salary that pays our bills - doesn't matter what anyone thinks or does - it's what you want that counts

grobags I have passed your details on to a couple of friends who will make some enquiries for you. I will be in touch x

I'm Assuming dd is almost 4 if starting school in sept and will be one of the youngest

Bubs is due early July?

I would get a good night nanny/mat nurse for the few few weeks to help get Into a routine and you get some sleep - sadly I'm booked up so can't offer my services - I'm kent not Surrey but would have travelled - not sure of agencies in your area but message if you want any advice and happy help out

Can you afford childcare while on ml? If so then maybe a temp daily nanny for a few days to entertain dd as will be summer hols - or is her nursery open then? And give you a break /sleep/play with dd and nanny have bubs

Just some thoughts,

You could have a live out part time Nanny, offering the spare room for when you want evening work? (but keeping a spare room for family and friend visits).

Your little girl will qualify for some nursery hours (I think it's the the term after third birthday and 15 hours?). Therebare a couple of lovely Nurseries in Guildford, i wil PM you names. You could get friendly with some of your favourite nursery workers who could do some babysitting and maybe the Saturday morning for you?

I use a couple of girls from nursery for babysitting (Godalming) and I am sure they would jump at the opportunity of a regulalr Saturday slot. Also I know a couple of Nannies who work Monday -Thursday who may be keen to do a regular weekend shift?

I use a combination of nursery and a nanny for my DS and it's working very well. I will send you some details, I know your requirements are a bit in the air at the moment but feel free to contact me in the future.

All the best, I have been think about your you and your DD

So sorry for your loss. You are doing amazingly well and you and your children will cope- in the future your children will appreciate how utterly fantastically you dealt with such terrible circumstances. Pleased to hear that at least you don't have to worry about finances too much at this time.

I too was lurking on your other thread and I am so so sorry to read about your dh and send you my thoughts and best wishes.
What about a live in maternity nurse for the first 5 weeks to give you some space and time ?
They are live in . I had one with new born twins, absent husband and no other support. £££££ but worth it to me.

Nanny With Own Child

Having some time at the weekend is good. Most nannies I know wouldn't want to commit to working every sat - but again some nannies would. Or get a rota of 2/3 diff ones so all get a break

If cost is the only reason why you prefer live in - then think about either a slightly less experienced nanny or nwoc to make things cheaper

Be kind to yourself x

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. I have not read your other thread but being a new mum of 2 I can't imagine being in your shoes and being such a fabulous mum.

Check out www.childcare.co.uk in profile put your requirements in exactly what you put in your OP. I am near Guildford and found Nanny via that.

Regards live in, I wouldn't rush in and think that the rate is ok without. In this area Nannies are asking £10-£14 per hour.

I will ask my Nanny if she knows anyone looking.

Hi Grobags

Saw your previous post and, once again, am very sorry for your loss. I am local to you and happy to share your post with some nannying friends who may be able to offer support or at least advice on where best to advertise?

grobags I'm so sorry about what has happened. What a terrible shock for you. You are obviously being incredibly brave and resourceful - I honestly take my hat off to you. Your DCs have sustained a terrible loss but they have a brave and resourceful mother which is a wonderful blessing for any child.

I am not in your situation but I am a single mother and had a three year old and a newborn on my own so am slightly familiar with the practical if not the emotional pressures. Work has been a saviour for me too. Personally, I've never had someone living in as I would find it too intrusive and in your situation I would worry that I wouldn't be able to behave naturally and grieve freely and come to terms with this new life with someone new in the house. But you may be the sort of person who likes people around and would find this helpful. And since you need flexibility, this might suit a live-in better.

I've always had a liveout nanny (same person for 7 years!) but someone very flexible. She doesn't do loads of exciting things with the children but she's quiet and reliable and trustworthy and loving with them and those have been the things I have valued over the years.

Just rambling thoughts and nothing helpful but I wanted to post just to say how sorry I am and to wish you courage and strength.