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Original poster

Non medical but worrying day off that I can't cover wwyd ?

487 replies

AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 22:33

My CM has found a lump in her breast which obviously she's worried sick about and has booked herself an appointment at a private hospital for Tuesday, she's told me this, not asked if it's ok iyswim. Now I know i'd be worried to death about finding a lump but I really cannot take this time off and DH would be unpaid which we can't afford. I don't want to sound like a heartless cow but she had Friday off at short notice for an uncles funeral and now this, would it be completely awful to ask her to rebook for Wednesday ?

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:19

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:18

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:18

No she couldn't have found another child, she didn't want to, don't you dare be so rude, this is my circumstances I'm trying to explain the situation.

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:17

Frannyfroo - I'm thinking out loud on here not a crime and I'm certainly not heartless - but we both need to live and without my job she might not be able to afford a private appointment.
What happens if it is cancer and she needs the money for immediate treatment and I've lost my job ?

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:16

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 10:15

It's a long story but she was going to pack in and go and work in a supermarket because she wasn't getting paid enough, she was just looking after my DD 2 days a week whilst i did the housework etc. Anyway the short version is I took a full time job so she could have my DD full time therefore earning enough to not take another job and continue CM.
As for the title i hit post before I'd checked it and you're right it doesn't make sense it was late.

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:06

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HappyMumof2 · 03/09/2006 10:05

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franyfroo · 03/09/2006 09:59

i would look into a nursery. your childminder doesnt deserve you! you sound so so heartless im rather gobsmacked.

thank goodness none of my parents would think in this way, infact they would all be fussing like mother hens, i am so lucky.

LoveMyGirls · 03/09/2006 09:51

i don't get the title of this thread btw - what do you mean non medical - this is medical and thank god you listened and havent put your foot in it. i would start looking for another job as they sound like the ones at fault here, def not your cm who has had time off for very good reasons!

milward · 03/09/2006 01:11

Tell your company the truth.

There is no question of your nanny waiting another day for her check-up. Will she need the whole day off?

fireflyfairy2 · 03/09/2006 00:40

Me either.

batters · 02/09/2006 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 23:38

I just don't like leaving the children with people I don't know and they don't know, it took me 2.5 years to find/get to know/trust this one

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 23:37

I've only been with the company 7 weeks and in that time i've had two weeks off for her holiday, booked a long time ago so no complaints from me there, a day off for her being sick, a day I had to take as holiday for her uncle's funeral and I just know if I call up and tell the truth i'll be sacked, they won't say you're being sacked because of needing to take parental leave but they'll think of something it's already been hinted at. Now I actually only took the job to keep the CM in a job and so DD could keep going there as she does love going but I'm just worried, if she is ill then she'll need treatment and my boss won't put up with any more time off so then I'll have find alternative childcare and then look like even more of a cow for giving notice just when she doesn't need to be jobless. Just worrying too much in advance

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Bibliophile · 02/09/2006 23:31

Why not another child minder? You are legally entitled to parental leave, you know. You can't legally be fired for taking it either.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 23:26

There is nobody else I would leave my children with so it's her or a sickie for me (DH doesn't earn £30 a day, it's too much for us to loose out on), hopefully i can pull it off or else we'll oth be looking for another job

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Bibliophile · 02/09/2006 23:25

ask your cm if any friends can help out, then you either get a friend to help, call an agency or your dh takes the day off. It's only one day. You'll manage. Good luck.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 23:24

I'm sure I do sound selfish and maybe I am putting my job, our finances, my children over her health, so I'll keep quiet. From what i've read though 9/10 lumps aren't cancer but of course she needs checking out.
Thanks

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CountessDracula · 02/09/2006 23:19

I thought that lumps had to be seen within 2 weeks on the nhs. That's what I was told when I had one.

Anyway, I think you would be heartless to ask her to change the appt. Can't you get someone from an agency for the day if it is so imperative that you are at work? Or take a sickie yourself?

fireflyfairy2 · 02/09/2006 23:17

Jeez, I love my c/minder like a sister... I would offer to drive her there on Tuesday, I would ask her if she needed any help looking after her own kinds during the appointment on Tuesday.. I would make it as easy as possible for her. Your post makes you come across as very selfish, which I am sure you are not by the way

Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 23:08

DMO - she's found a lump not been given 6 weeks to live
TBH I don't want to over react and make her think she should be worrying iyswim.

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dmo · 02/09/2006 23:00

get your child tomo to make a card for c/m
it will make her feel happy and valued and dont mention a word to her about how unconvinet her app is to you it will just add to her list of things to worry about

Original poster
AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 22:57

I think we need a plan B then or maybe a nursery, I just didn't expect so many things to crop up on top of the normal illness (which of course we did expect).
Thanks for stopping me putting my foot in it.

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FeelingOld · 02/09/2006 22:54

I agree with dmo, ask her if she knows another cm. I meet up regularly with other cm in my area and our mindees know all of us/each other very well and have covered for each other on the odd occasion eg funerals, illness.