Non medical but worrying day off that I can't cover wwyd ?

All seems to have gone V V quiet -

wish i hadnt read this.

AC, your MC health comes first always.

if your company sack you for taking a day for parental leave, then look into seeking some compo from them.

if a friend phoned me up today and asked if i could look after their child on tuesday then its not short notice IMO, would do it easily.
(dh and VAD permitting of course).

If your dh earns £750 a day, then can he make the hours up another day? work on his bookd day off?

"Perfectly reasonable" to demand she moves her appointment? Not in my book it's not. And for what it's worth, this may not be her only appointment - she may have to go for scans, biopsies, surgery ... are you going to demand she moves her appointments for those too, or are you going to look at a more reasonable approach to this? Regardless of what you say, if you had to make an appointment because of a breast lump you would reasonably expect to be able to take the time off, regardless of whether you had meetings, and I can't see why it would be different for your cm just because she happens not to work in an office.

I'm afraid that if I worked for you I'd tell you to take a running jump.

AngelaChill, is this the cm/nanny who is on a months notice with you? Or didn't you give her a months notice in the end? In which case isn't your child going to nursery soon anyway?

Exactly Batters. And to be very flippant - if earning 750 a day i would think DH could afford to run several CM's.

I probably shouldn't comment on this - bit too close to the bone. My mother has just had breast cancer, Angela, and if her work had told her to delay the appointment as it wasn't convinient I would have wanted to go down there and scream at them. The day my mum went to the clinic I was working, and so so very worried. FWIW they will not necessarily be able to tell your CM whether it is cancerous or not on that day.

You are so very flippant about the whole situation which is what has got peoples backs up - 'only a consultation' or words to that effect and '9/10 lumps are non cancerous'. Oh right, well then F8ck it she has a one in ten chance of being seriously ill so she should just wait untill you can fit it in your hectic schedule.

The fact is there are ways and means of you getting around this - people have made plenty of suggestions all of which you have phoo phooed. I feel you are being overly stubborn about this when you should be bending over backwards to try and accomodate your CM at this stressful time. This thread really has brought tears to my eyes that anyone could be so callous - and yes I have seen that you say your job is on the line - but no I don't buy it because you won't even consider any of the other options which are available to you.

But if your dh is earning £750 a day you don't really need to wotty!Having said that I think he could make the time up if he was really ill he would

I think if you had to take the appt and your life potentially depended on it you would do so during company/client hours. And expect your employer to live with it, quite rightly. But I do appreciate that you're the employer and there's a knock on effect on you wrt this situation. Sometimes there are things more important that client meetings/work deadlines I guess is my point and I think if it were you you too might re prioritise.

x posted. OK, resign then! I was actually trying to be helpful.

Ok, so what about the solutions I've suggested then? If he's in charge surely he can re arrange stuff/dial in from home/work later and come in later/something? It just sounds extreme, chucking in your job just because of this, which is a problem with several possible solutions, it seems to me. But if you hate it and don't need th emoney then I'd resign anyway!

Because really the question you're asking here, it seems to me, is how you you manage when you both work and various unforeseen circumstances crop up. And there isn't one answer to that question, we all do the best we can for our circumstances. In your position I wouldn't throw in the towel with the job yet, I'd consider

a) a friend you trust
b) a family member you trust
c) dh doing as I suggest below
d) sharing the day off 50/50
e) telling your employer the truth and offering to make up the time/effort some other way. I don't know what you do but could you dial in/go in early/leave early/do a late evening one day?
f) Getting dh to take the day and take the cost
g) Getting a nursery pdq, although they do need settling in so you'd need to book some time to cover that.

I'm with Batters on this. AngelaChill, just because someone's a lead project manager doesn't mean they can't take a day off and it would, in any circles I've ever moved in (stuffed with lead PMs in large organisations), be HIGHLY unlikely to lead to sacking/end of contract. Could your dh take a portion of the day off? Start later/go in earlier or something? Presumably he'd still get his daily rate then. Or could he dial in from home?

It sounds as if a) a nursery wpuld probably suit your circumstances better and b) your employers aren't terribly nice to work for. It is possible to be 2 parents who work ftoth but a nursery or nanny with backup probably works best ime.

OK, I've been thinking about this a bit more...

what time is CM's appointment? Assuming that she receives good news- could she look after your child when she gets back? If so, how about leaving it till Tuesday, phone into work on Tuesday with the story that your childminder has had to go to hospital, and you'll be a "bit late". Offer to work late/ Weekend/ cover someone else's shift to make up for it. You could end up only needing an hour or two off.

You then need to consider what will happen if your CM does have cancer- she will need LOADS of time off for treatment, appointments, surgery etc, so clearly the arrangement cannot continue. You can then decide at that point, whether to go for alternative childcare or to quit and go back to being a SAHM. Obviously, if your boss isn't happy about the time off, and suggests that you won't pass your probation, then resign anyway. If your CM does need to take more time off on Tuesday than a few hours, offer your resignation if it makes you feel better.

Don't think you say how old your dd is, but I wouldn't get stressed over your dd howling when left. It happens. They usually cheer up as soon as you're out of sight. My dd did, and she's a reasonably well-adjusted 4 year old now.

if you dont need to work dont
let your c/m sort out her health and get another child or work in a supermarket
you dont need the stress or the money so why go through it all
as you have repeated you dont want just anybody to look after your dd so the best person who wont let you down is yourself