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Original poster

Non medical but worrying day off that I can't cover wwyd ?

487 replies

AngelaChill · 02/09/2006 22:33

My CM has found a lump in her breast which obviously she's worried sick about and has booked herself an appointment at a private hospital for Tuesday, she's told me this, not asked if it's ok iyswim. Now I know i'd be worried to death about finding a lump but I really cannot take this time off and DH would be unpaid which we can't afford. I don't want to sound like a heartless cow but she had Friday off at short notice for an uncles funeral and now this, would it be completely awful to ask her to rebook for Wednesday ?

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thechildsslave · 03/09/2006 16:42

Some consultants only work certain days and time of the week . Because their time is more imoportant than yours .

tortoise · 03/09/2006 16:42

Well if he doesn't work wednesdays swap it to tuesday this week.

misdee · 03/09/2006 16:40

of course shwe didnt think of your days off at the time, she just wants to get checked out.

Greensleeves · 03/09/2006 16:40

Angela, if your dh earns £750 a day, why can't you afford to pay the CM without working full time? If he runs the organisation and makes such a huge amount of money, why doesn't he get paid for sick leave/holiday? You're obviously worried and stressed, but what you're saying doesn't really make sense to me - there must be more to it than you're telling us, surely? £750 a day is a huge sum to most of us. [puzzled emoticon]

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:39

Ok the last word, yes there is a 1 in 10 ten chance that this could be serious but would seeing the doctor on the Wednesday instead of the Tuesday really make any difference - I'm not medically qualified but I suspect not.
I have just realised and this is my fault, I haven't said that DH doesn't work on a Wednesday so she could take this day without causing anyone any issues, I guess she just didn't think of that at the time.
It goes without saying everyone hopes it's a cyst.

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franyfroo · 03/09/2006 16:38

beginning to think this is a joke, i mean what is the woman on???

Flossam · 03/09/2006 16:37

Oh and Hunker - sorry I know I am getting a little involved here aren't I?

thechildsslave · 03/09/2006 16:37

Just gone back to your last thread op . You are having a fucking laugh shall I give her notice . What planet are you on .

misdee · 03/09/2006 16:35

AC cal lthem now, not tomorrow night. FGS is that so hard to do? is it against the law to use the phone on sundays now?

thechildsslave · 03/09/2006 16:34

I have read all the thread . What happened to the saying you work to live not live to work . Even if she hasnt got the big C this time surely she will need more check ups in the future . Its only work .Money does not come befor anything else . My DH has cancer and untill this happened in our lives alot of things got taken for granted . Work was the least of my worries .

Flossam · 03/09/2006 16:34

Different types of cancer have different ages of risk actually. This isn't actually about my Mum though is it? Perhaps I shouldn't relate it to that and yet that is what upset me when I read your post. Your CM's life may be about to take a very different turn as unlikely as it may be. There are alternatives and yet you are just jumping off the deep end. I only hope for her sake that it isn't cancerous for you CM as she is going to be unable to work for a very long time with no source of income so you don't have to run the risk of being sacked and embarrassed. Poor lady.

WigWamBam · 03/09/2006 16:34

I had a breast lump many years ago, and I can assure you that when it happens to you, you do drop everything. Nothing is more important than ascertaining what that lump is, and getting rid of it if necessary. The fact that 90% of lumps are harmless doesn't take away the urgency of the situation. It's very easy to look at it as coldly as you are when it's not the thing uppermost in your thoughts, it's very difficult when it's you that it's happening to and you can't get that thought out of your mind.

There are ways around this, and many of them have been suggested on this thread. It seems to me that you're just not prepared to put yourself out to get around it - have a little empathy for someone who is probably worried frantic.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:31

Noddy he just can't end of story, my mum isn't available, yes i could spend all of monday calling around my friends but tbh that won't go down too well with my boss either and Monday night is cutting it rather fine.

As I said a couple of hours I go, I shall be honest tell my boss how it is and if it looks like i'm going to be sacked jump in first with my resignation.

Then my next dilema will be , do I give her her notice on monday night or wait until Tuesday

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noddyholder · 03/09/2006 16:30

I am beginnin gto think we have all been had!No one esp another woman is this heartless.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:28

Flossam - nobody is being heartless - your mum is a very different kettle of fish, for a start she is the right age to be at risk of Breast Cancer, my CM isn't, it will be extremely unlucky if that is what she has. I'm afraid on planet real world, people cannot drop everything and that would include me if I had the lump.

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hunkermunker · 03/09/2006 16:21

{{{Flossam}}}

noddyholder · 03/09/2006 16:20

why can't your husband have the day off?Would he still go to work if you were ill?What is the differnce I am surprised he hasn't offered

Flossam · 03/09/2006 16:19

AC - I doubt many of us want to read posts like this from you again. Your attitiude has left many dumbfounded. I'm glad I so rarely meet people as heartless as you.

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:12

Noddy I had been through the solutions - over and over and was down to two choices.
You have stated it's not right to ask her to move the appointment so then that's it. end of.

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Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:11

WWW unfortunately I decided to try and make it all work rather than give her months notice a few weeks ago, I obviously really, really wish I had we'd be on our way to sorting out the nursery now. It's all going to be un necessarily upsetting for everyone because I delayed hoping for the best.

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noddyholder · 03/09/2006 16:10

resigning is so ott in this situation If you can resign this easy I don't think you ever really needed our suggestions as you had made up your mind.How you plan to get through day to day with this attitude is beyond me tbh I feel for you in all honesty as life is about give and take and compromise and you are not prepared to do any

Original poster
AngelaChill · 03/09/2006 16:07

My final word and you can all carry on without me with tears in your eyes if you must, is that I will have to resign, end of.
Those who have tried to think of helpful solutions, I thank you and I do appreciate your efforts.
Clearly i shall have to think twice about what I post on this site in future i just wrongly thought if you can't be honest on here then where can you.

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Angela2005 · 03/09/2006 14:53

Much sympathy, AngelaChill

My first reaction was: of course you shouldn't ask her to change appointment.

But after reading through, I think you should be honest with her. If she isn't hysterically worried, then let her make the choice - explain the probable end to your employment, but tell her that is a risk you are perfectly prepared to take especially cos it is stressful working for bosses who don't like childcare days off - if you're good friends as it sounds like, then she should believe that, and be able to take informed decision.

If I was CM, I think I'd rather be given the choice than have you try to be nice by saying nothing, but then give me notice!

Totally understand about work - you might be theoretically protected but there is no way to prove their motive especially on probabtionary period. So good luck!!

Sobernow · 03/09/2006 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flossam · 03/09/2006 14:49

Sorry my last rant - an attachment parent who sent her DD to the CM for a couple of days a week so she could do the housework? A contradiction in terms surely?