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So angry - music group wants to exclude nannies

57 replies

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 11:38

Can't quite believe this - have just been left a message by snotty music group leader that DS's nanny cannot take him to a music group booked up for next week. I had left what I thought was a courtesy only message to explain that I was heavily pgnant & running over deadline with a piece of work, so I would not be attending, but the highly competent and lovely Mrs Nanny would be instead ...... then I get back some mealy mouthed message about how the group is set up for parents only ....

so what would they do if I'd had the baby early / broken my leg / had another, sick, child???

DH has left them a message and we are waiting to hear what they say but really and

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:55

And what is your neck of the woods, muminaquandry, just so we can prperly shame them, of course.

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:49

clearly the suzuki wallahs in my neck of the woods forgot to be "humanitarians" in their assessment of my needs next week ...

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kkey21 · 20/07/2006 12:49

Interesting, as a Mum myself and also a qualified Nanny, where would that leave me if i wanted to take my son and a charge along???? I haven't read the complete thread but i am disgusted! That is like a sign outside saying 'no dogs allowed!' except its us nannies!!! No funny comments please!
What an awful company!

Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:48

SO, Dads are allowed in the class then? Or is it some kind of subservient stay at home mum kind of thing. How utterly and completely weird.

MrsBadger · 20/07/2006 12:43

am snurking at use of the phrase 'The Suzuki Parent'

utterly barking

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:41

OK, so maybe I should have read this page & extrapolated it across to the summer taster sessions .... never mind, we are out out out of the club now!!!!

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muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:40

he Suzuki piano approach is based on the philosophy and teaching methods of the Japanese violinist, pedagogue and humanitarian, Dr Shinichi Suzuki. Dr Suzuki believed that every child can be educated to a very high level using the same principles as those used for language acquisition.

Some of the basic principles underlying the Suzuki approach:

All children possess enormous musical potential; all depends on how it is developed. (There are no auditions, no belief that one child is more 'talented' than another.)
Environment is the motivating force behind natural learning. The stronger the musical environment, the easier and more successful the natural learning. The Suzuki learning environment includes: weekly lessons, group classes, a home practice and listening programme, participation in concerts and workshops, absorption of the musical mastery of professional artists by listening to CDs, watching DVDs and attending live concerts.
Parental involvement is central to the child's success. Undertaking the role of Suzuki parenting is an important decision, as parents play a fundamental role in the Suzuki learning process. The Suzuki parent attends all lessons, and organises and supervises the home listening programme and daily practice.
A child should start as young as is practical in a step-by-step process according to each child's individual needs. The early years are the best years for sensory learning, and this period is crucial for listening and responding to the world of music. The earlier the start, the better. Children from the age of 3 can begin, as decided by the teacher.
A daily musical routine of practice and listening is the basis for ability development. Regular review of repertoire and the refining of the basics in the child's playing leads to more expressive playing. ?As they advance, their musicality, sense of tempo, and expressiveness will develop, and they will progress faster and faster.? (Suzuki)
Children follow each step of the Suzuki repertoire sequence. Each piece in the repertoire is a building block for the student's careful development. Constant review and careful repetition of known pieces is the secret of increased memory and performance ability.
Group learning is key to the Suzuki approach, and is achieved (1) in the form of 'shared' individual lessons, (2) through observation of other students' lessons, (3) in the weekly musicianship classes, and (4) by participation in concerts and workshops.
Never hurry; never rest. This was one of Suzuki's favourite sayings, and reminds teachers, parents and students of the importance of patient and persistent effort in training excellent skill and developing great ability in any area of life.
Dr Suzuki's approach is concerned with the education of the whole child through music:

?Our purpose does not lie in a movement to create professional musicians, but to create people of beautiful minds and fine ability through an unparalleled, uniquely musical approach. We engage in human education through music so that children will grow beautifully with high sensitivity.?

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harpsichordcarrier · 20/07/2006 12:39

I agree with Mrs JC wholeheartedly.
bloody music ponces, makes my blood boil. so much for accesibility, eh?
hope he garottes himself on his own bow.

Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:37

Ok, what is Suzuki music? Not that my kids would be welcome.

MrsJohnCusack · 20/07/2006 12:33

yes I think the suzuki method of actually teaching children instruments is deeply weird

glad your DH got a refund!

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:33

excellent work Uwila

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Marina · 20/07/2006 12:33

I have always had reservations about the Suzuki method per se but to hear it is also administered by Stalinist fusspots is the final straw frankly

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:32

well DH as managed to speak to the Precious One from Suzuki in person, and has characterised it to me as "the most annoying conversation I have ever had in my life" - as it was clearly all a bit much for this chappie to have a plebby old nanny in the group for a week .... however, DH being DH he has managed to get them to offer a refund & heartfelt apologies ....grrr still makes me totally p*ssed off, I hope they never have to deal with people like us again, as we are clearly terribly difficult and non-Suzuki-minded .... gosh, maybe he knows that our CD collection doesn't include the seminal recording of Brahms' piano concertos 1 & 2 by Emil Gilels .... & that DH once played on his Nintendo during a piano recital as a child

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Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:32

Right, I've done it. nanny job thread

Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:26

I think we should link this thread to Nannyjob.co.uk and see what they think. Perhaps we could get a get of bad press for suzuki-wallah over there.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 20/07/2006 12:22

yes - not remotely relevant that miaq's ds might actually enjoy going with nanny. it's not about enjoyment for heaven's sake.

MrsJohnCusack · 20/07/2006 12:22

seriously. blimey they wouldn't let me and my terrible typing in.

snotty gits

MrsJohnCusack · 20/07/2006 12:21

this is such bolleaux

3/4 yr olds and parents "must be committed" - what a load of smug old cack

makes me so cross - it just reinforces the idea that music/classical music is for the elite only and must be taken ridiculously serious.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 20/07/2006 12:20

these wallies have clearly never had this sort of conflict in their lives

  • I think you're spot on. life is clearly very simple for some people.
Uwila · 20/07/2006 12:20

Outrageous. Have you paid for this class? I would definately not send my kid (nor my money!) to this organisation.

An this bit about the parent having to go because the parent has to be involved makes no sense because the nany is the one caring for the child all day and therefore by that reasoning it is she who needs to be involved in oreder to continue the teaching outside of class.

Yeah, it really pisses me off when someone else tells me which part of MY parenting a can delegate to my nanny.

Too bad you didn't put the name of the place, let's all say SUZUKI, in the thread title.

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:18

the Suzuki-wallahs have cashed my cheque & I have just been back on to their website which merely states classes for children with parent, but no special explanation or exclusion clause for nannies

what about orphaned children, those with single mothers, those with parents with health issues, other siblings, oh f*ck so

of course this is just increasing my guilt too about the fact that I am STILL working and about to have a baby and had really wanted some special time with DS before no 2 arrives but NEVER MIND these wallies have clearly never had this sort of conflict in their lives

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thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 20/07/2006 12:14

have you paid in advance? were you aware that only parents could bring your ds? If the answers are yes and no then I would inform them that they can either refund you or your ds will be coming with nanny. If they opt for refund I would also ask them to refund you for any other lessons you have paid for as you can't guarantee that you will be able to bring ds personally. If they back down and let your nanny take ds then I would only continue until the end of the period you have paid for and then tell them that you're finding another music group where nanny will be welcome. sorry but some people are so up their own backsides it's untrue. whatever gubbins they trot out about the benefits of the parent being totally committed is, imnsho, rubbish. my kids loved going to their music classes with someone other than me because they loved introducing a different person to part of their life, and loved showing off their singing/dancing. And in general I think that kids get a lot more out of life if it is organised in way that has its feet on the ground - ie that mum might not always be able to do everything (esp when heavily pg!) and that other adults are there to play a role in their lives as well. ohhh but Jemima can't possibly learn how to shake a tambourine if mummy isn't committed. and if she' doesn;t learn how to shake a tambourine properly then she simply won't benefit from our music lessons and really you might as well not bother. what utter TOSH. don;t know why but this has made me really

SoMuchToBits · 20/07/2006 12:14

Oh, I see... Well, I can't really understand that then. If that is a "taster" then I guess you will probably decide its not for you.

muminaquandary · 20/07/2006 12:12

But a group that is run for 3-4 yr olds, as a taster, surely that is a bit extreme?? It is not the lessons that we are starting, so I would assume no practice involved ....

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SoMuchToBits · 20/07/2006 12:07

I know a friend whose children attend a Suzuki music group, and she has said that they insist that a parent attends, because the parents need to be involved in helping their child practise the music, and need to be at the lesson to see what goes on. I can understand this idea as a general rule, but it does seem a bit inflexible, if you can't even send the child with someone else as a one-off.