Recovering from csection & severe SPD. Norland Nanny useful to help me?

agree you are chopping your nose off to spite your face in regards to who you have to help, if you only stick to norland

any good agency will hopefully have at least 5 good nannies all with new born baby exp, prob a lot more tbh

this has been going on for 3 days, as nom said, and if you rang a local agency then sure you would have had someone by now

the job im in at the moment, i saw mum on sat late eve and started sun eve - she saw 3, so not the fact she had to chose me as no one esle iyswim - but she knows im pre booked mid dec so can only have me till then, but as i said ive already got bubs in a fab routine

please call an agency :)

Trying to think round it here.

So DD is out at school weekdays, au pair is around to look after DD after school, and mum can do baby for afternoons (12.30 - 7pm)? Which should mean you only have baby on your own in the mornings? Can you rest all afternoon (and get mum to bring you lunch/drinks in bed )?

Can DH get back to put them to bed in an evening i.e. cross over with mum and also shove in a ready meal and bring to you in bed?

Can mum help on the 3 x Saturdays DH is working?

Presumably you and DH can alernate nights, or can do at least some, so you get some nights off as well, which should be better if you get loads of daytime rest.

I'm not sure where nanny fits in - just the Saturdays (on the assumption that mum can't help)? If so, and its only three days when you're around as well anyway, then anyone decent should do rather than needing to be Norland etc?

I know you don't have the time or energy but it's just an example of qualified candidates (who probably are registered with agencies too) that aren't necessarily Norland trained. The more you put arbitrary limits on candidates the longer it will be before you can have sleep :)

If even two of those profiles appealed there are probably 10 more like them that an agency could call on a moment's notice. You'll still need to call references yourself but that takes less than an hour.

When I worked for an agency if you'd called me Wednesday morning sounding as desperate as you did on Tuesday I'd have spent half an hour or so getting to the bottom of what you really wanted, searched the database for candidates, called them to check their availability and whether they'd be interested, sent you the profiles of the ones who were and had someone with you Thursday latest. Of course if you'd stuck to wanting a Norlander then it would have been fairly unlikely that the particular agency I worked for could have helped but I'd still have done my best!

You need to move quickly now to get someone before the weekend as agencies often close Sat and Sun.

At the right hand end of the blue bar above my post it should say 'message poster'. Click on that! I'll send you one anyway in the meantime!

Haven't read whole thread but YES GET SOME HELP!!!

Doesn't need to be Norland. I had a maternity nurse through Eden/the maternity nurse company (can't remember which). She was a life saver (C section and twins and stroppy teen and DP working 400 miles away).

PM me if you want as I have my lady's phone number and she's in London.

Almost all nannies will have first aid, NEST and MNT cover baby hygiene and plenty of nannies have done food hygiene as part of their training. It was entirely standard until a few years ago. Care of a 5 year old is also basic stuff for anyone with a level 3 qualification.

Send your person spec to an agency and see who they have that fits your profile.

Just looking on nannyjob I've found:

a trainee children's nurse www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/33086
an Aussie with qualifications as long as your arm www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/21890
25 years experience, 1st aid, baby care course www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/17178
'courses and qualifications' www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/14381
17 ytears exp and MNT www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/25999
BTEC, MNT, first aid www.nannyjob.co.uk/cv/12205

Many nannies could do all that, not just Norland - I've had several nannies over the years who could easily manage all that, none found through agencies, just women who'd built up experience over years - many starting off like your AP. Totally understand you need to tick all boxes but there is a wider pool out there, just tell agencies these are all musts for you and in the meantime train up the AP. All mums learn from scratch at the start and we mostly do OK

Not to be harsh but just because they are Norland or Chiltern trained does not mean they will be right for your family. I'd also call Nest and see if they have any trainees available.

I'd say Chiltern is just as high and that practically doubles your pool of candidates, if you didn't know about them before?

I feel very sorry for you but I think you're also finding unnecessary obstacles - being tired doesn't help it makes things look harder than they actually are. It's frankly daft only to consider a Norland, there are MANY nannies out there with experience (which is what you need, not training) who'd be far cheaper and have more availability, so you could use them far more. Show the AP how to put a bottle together and she can wake you if any problems.

What area are you in?

Can your mum help at all?

Have you rang local agencies to see if have any temp nannies

Does your dh company use emergency childcare - via my family care/TINIES - the company pay for a few days help each year

Least dd is at school and you have ap

Until you get some help you need to rest as much as possible so when bus is asleep you sleep

And yes dh sounds an arse (sorry)

It's not illegal to leave an AP with an under 2 - it's not recommended, they're not qualified to do it and it's not going to go down well with an agency but it's not illegal. So if you think AP can cope while you sleep in the house for a couple of hours and wake you if necessary a) I wouldn't call that sole charge and b) you're fine to do it from a legal perspective.

The 'rules' on that are to prevent APs being used as FT childcare, which they are in some cases anyway but that's another story.

My point is if you desperately need a nap and you think the AP could cope then just ask nicely.

Right, so he's now done a night shift, that's good, that's progress. Everyone needs alone time, of course they do, but when you're at breaking point him going off for a swim is a bit self-indulgent IMO.

Of course your DD still needs attention, I meant more that it's not as if he's struggling with twins, or a newborn and a toddler.

Can you get your diaries together and plan each day for the next week, so you both know where you stand in terms of who is doing childcare for one or both, and you both know when your periods of rest/work are? Would that help you feel more able to carry on, if you know when you're next getting time off?

I feel for you, I really struggled with sleep deprivation, in the end DP had to just accept that tiredness made him crabby, whereas with me it gave me depression.