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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Our nanny seems to have been using our tumble dryer...

83 replies

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 21:28

She has been working for us for 2 years.
She's had some upset in her personal life in the last few months which she has kept close to her chest as is her right of course.

On 3 or 4 occasions now I have noticed that the tumble dryer is still warm when I come in, there had been none of our laundry to be done and the fluff filter was thickly coated in fluff including what I can only assume is dog hair (we have no pets, she has a dog and a cat). I empty the fluff filter after each use so have a fair idea what is usually in there.

Now, if she has a problem getting stuff done at home, I'd be happy for her to use our appliances (we are trying to reduce electricity bills and I only use the tumble dryer for a few minutes to fluff things up and then hang everything on our ceiling pulley thing, but hey ho, if she is stuck I'd be happy to help).

It's the fact she's not asked that does not sit right with me .
And I don't know how to approach this: "According to our fluff filter you have had unauthorised use of the dryer"??

Any words of advice?

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Original poster

PacificDogwood · 02/11/2013 10:25

Honesty and straightforwardness are the best policy.

I agree with this and will speak to her when I next see her. I will ask her to clear the filter if and when she uses the dryer and ask her whether she is struggling with anything in particular.

Reet, no, we do not live hand to mouth and we are in a position to justify the expense of a nanny. It's the underhandedness of not having been asked that bugs me, not simply the expense.

I have no idea what energy rating our dryer has - it is not exactly new

OP posts:

ReetPetit · 02/11/2013 08:24

It's very petty imo to bring up cost of running a tumble dryer - if op can afford to employ a nanny im assuming she's not living hand to mouth??

Parents underestimate the amount of time and work that goes into a childcarers day and i do free bregrudging someone who had cared for your most treasured possession daily for 2 years a bit mean tbh especially when you know she is having a rough time.
You say she is mature and staying with het mother a lot - perhaps she is drying her mothers clothes?

If it really bothers you i would (as someone else said) remove the fuse or pretend it's out of order - that way she will probably take the hint without you having to make yourself look mean!

YesterdayI · 01/11/2013 23:22

You can have a look HERE to see how much it costs to run. If it's an A rated dryer it doesn't look like it costs that much?

Onefewernow · 01/11/2013 23:16

As an ex employer of nannies over several year, and with varied success, I would just ask. Honesty and straightforwardness are the best policy.

YesterdayI · 01/11/2013 23:15

I would be upfront with her and simply ask her to not use the dryer. They use a lot of electricity.

If you are nervous of being too direct you could say something about being worried about the electricity bill.

You can tell her that you don't mind if she does it she is stuck but that you would prefer her not to do it routinely.

Don't be a wuss OP otherwise it will bug you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2013 23:08

If last week or two maybe she's got wet on school run etc

I got soaked and jeans saturated and horrible so put in dryer and borrowed mb dressing gown (with her permission she was at home and told me to change into it)

Other times child been sick on me so wash clothes - usually have spare top in car

Maybe say to nanny regards dh - that if she wants to ever talk you are there - that's if you want to hear/get involved - some employers don't

Tbh I'm surprised she didn't mention dh leaving to you or even sending via a text to let you know - but didn't want to cry in front of you

Think I sent my mb an email explaining my situation - so she knew but so I didn't have to tell her and burst into tears iyswim

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2013 23:02

I giggle at moist and my friend hates the word moist and I will use it at every chance to make her cringe mean friend

Moist fluff would send me over the edge !!!!

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 22:33

I am now finding myself unable to even think the word 'fluff' without giggling

Yes, it is a new thing, in the last week or 2 and her H left probably about 6 months ago - or thereabouts. She only mentioned it a couple of months ago when I specifically asked how he was (small village, we had met, they live/d close by - just friendly chitchat).

Ah well, thanks for everybody's thoughts, I shall sleep on it.

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByABogieMan · 01/11/2013 22:30

The amount of fluff in my drier astounds me.

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2013 22:29

Some nannies /employers are very friendly

Some are more employee /employer
Basis iyswim

When I had troubles with dh I confided to my employers - I said that xyz had happened but that I would carry on doing my job as well as I could and would try and not let my personal life affect my professional life

They were very supportive

Maybe your nanny is tryin to cope as best as she can under the circumstances - is the tumble dryer a new thing - possibly since she left dh?

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 22:23

maybe she is trying to be professional by not confiding to you - that is what I am wondering/worrying about

OP posts:

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 22:21

She does ALL our laundry as the need arises - as do I on the days I am off. We are a family of 6, the washing machine is on every day or more often to do towels/bed linen.
Even 2 loads of towels do not generate the amount of fluff I've found - more than once.

I do think it's her own stuff, or maybe blankets or something?? The animal hair is v obvious.

She is not a young girl, she has adult children and her H has left her. She is still in their flat, but I am not sure that she stays there much as she seems to spend a lot of time at her mother's - I have no idea what the 'facilities' are like there. If her WM/TT are broken/not available/exH has taken them away, I'd be happy to help her out. If she reckons "Better on their bill than mine" then I am not quite so happy.... We can afford our fuel bill, it's huge (old, drafty house), so I don't want to add to it unnecessarily.

Oh, gah. I don't want to be an unassertive wimp and don't want to be confrontational either. I don't feel I can say nothing.

OP posts:

Rosa · 01/11/2013 22:18

Stick a post it saying "out of order until further notice "

BettyBotter · 01/11/2013 22:17

I think I'd just let her do it. Perk of the job kind of thing - just like those of us who work in offices may sometimes use the office phone for personal calls and those of us who work on a biscuit factory get to take home the broken ones.

I guess she's on a lowish wage and doesn't have her own tumble. Be generous and turn a blind eye.

notagiraffe · 01/11/2013 22:15

Are you sure she isn't washing your DC's stuff in it? The nannies I know have duties that include being in charge of all the kids' laundry too.

FunnyRunner · 01/11/2013 22:14

TBH I would be royally pissed off if someone I employed came to my house and brought their bloody laundry, specifically to dry it at my expense without asking. I would be doubly pissed if I wasn't using my own tumble dryer because I couldn't afford it! Some of you are very generous to your nannies (real or hypothetical)!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/11/2013 22:08

Sounds like she is using it to do personal stuff

Weird she hasn't asked. I've used works washing machine and dryer before but asked / as was without as broke and another time when had kitchen done - and family didn't mind

Same as I took their washing home and did it when their machine literally blew up - Big Bang and smoke !!!

Sounds like she's is struggling and maybe she is trying to be professional by not confiding to you - maybe had spilt with boyfriend etc

You could ask her or simply say you've noticed electricity bill has gone up and could she hang our most clothes rather then use dryer

or remove the fuse

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 21:58

Formally, she is employed as 'nanny and housekeeper' - she has 2-3 hrs every day when she is without any kids and does some cleaning/laundry/empties the dishwasher for us. So I don't really know what she does in that time.

OP posts:

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 21:56

maybe she's drying the dog - May be she is - case for the RSPCA, then.

How about 'are you ok? Is there anything we can do to help?' - I have asked, repeatedly. Sat down with a cup of tea and a chat. She is not keen to share - fairenuff.

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByABogieMan · 01/11/2013 21:55

Do you not see her dragging huge bags of wet washing in?

FunkyFucker · 01/11/2013 21:53

How about 'are you ok? Is there anything we can do to help?'

ReetPetit · 01/11/2013 21:52

maybe she's drying the dog

BrianTheMole · 01/11/2013 21:51

It is cheeky if she's bringing her clothes there to dry. They're not cheap to run. Occasionally is fine, but on a regular basis, without asking, not fine. Is she using your washer too then? I would say something to her.

Original poster

PacificDogwood · 01/11/2013 21:50

Oh, thank you all - fast replies.

She does not live-in and comes by car.

I like the suggestion of simply asking her to empty the fluff filter and leaving it at that.

@ 'Garner your fluff balls' - you should see the shere size of them!! Good 1+cm of fluff thickness after I had emptied the filter yesterday.

OP posts:

ReetPetit · 01/11/2013 21:46

sorry if this sounds odd but why would she bring her washing to yours and dry it there? is she also using the washing machine? if she was really hard up wouldn't she be also raiding your cupboards?

it does sound a bit petty and mean spirited to bring it up imo - I agree with HeyJudith that she could be drying her cardigan/coat/scarf etc after being out in the rain with your dc.

Lol at 'Garner your fluff balls'

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