A bit miffed with CM

wow, sorry but can't believe you have posted this knowing she uses MN your details are quite specific and if she wasn't annoyed at you before she probably will be now... if I were you I would ask for this to be deleted in the hope she hasn't been online for a while.

to be perfectly blunt - early drop off is a nightmare for us childminders. I can't stand it. I have two children to get ready for school and the last thing I want is to be expected to start work even 5 minutes early..

if you want a detailed handover, I would ditch the diary - why should she spend her time writing a diary only to them have to repeat it all at pick up?

I ALWAYS have children ready at the door. I absolutely do not want parents trudging through my home with their outdoor shoes on, sitting down in my living room etc etc. This may be my work place but it is also mine and my son's home. It may be you have overstepped the mark one to many times and she is not confident enough to tell you to your face so is just doing it in a more 'subtle' way.

You wouldn't walk into a school classroom and expect a detailed handover. Why is it okay to expect the same from a cm just because she works from home?

oh and also, long hand overs can quite often make the child act up, perhaps she had noticed this and so was trying to avoid that stress? Or perhaps she had something happening in the other room with another child that she needed to quickly get to.

Havent read all other messages sorry. My thoughts are...

Is she trying to make a point? Have you been arriving on the dot and then lingering for a long time, or worse still arriving a bit late...cos that's enough to send me mad! I have one that has an annoying habit of arriving a little bit early and about 10 minutes late...quite often, and then despite the fact that I have filled in the diary in detailed fashion then always wants me to tell her the things I have already written down, even though she asks me if I've done the diary she still wants to know from me...this then makes it even later that she goes! I would never be abrupt like that though!

Being early even just slightly without warning would drive me up the wall. I really don't mind if they ask me if they can drop off early because they want to catch an earlier train or something.
I had a parent who should have been dropping off at 7 am and she kept turning up as early as 6.45am. I did not want to hear the door bell before the contracted time. My own children were still in bed that time and her being 15 minutes early was messing up my whole morning routine. I gave notice after a couple of weeks as I asked her a number of times if she needed to change the contracted time and she kept saying no 7 am is fine. It just wasn't working for me and wasn't worth all the stress in the morning.
I like short hand overs at the end of the day too. They children do play up when their parents are here and if I am spending time chatting to them I am not looking after all the other children in my care. Also if I have 6 children here (which I do every day) and I spend 10 minutes chatting with each parent that's an hour each day I am not looking after the other children while they are running riots in my living room. Of course if there was something I needed to say like X bumped her head etc I would do it. Otherwise everything is in the daily diary ... what we did, what they are, how many nappies I changed etc ... so I do not want to repeat myself again.
If parents need to chat they know they can ring me later or arrange to come later once everybody's gone and my children are in bed. I can then give them my full undivided attention.
I don't think there's anything wrong with your childminder. She's probably just tired and wants to get on with whatever it is she's planned to do after you collect your child.

When I was childminding I often spent 20 mins chatting at the end of the day with one family but made it a quicker handover when my ds2 was starting to act up as he was doing it to get his mummy time. But I found it hard to have shoes on ready, just wasn't for me so we'd always have a bit of stuff to do at pickup time (which could be hectic with several being picked up at the same time). I always had a smile though and would so a very quick 'good weekend?' type thing.

One thing though, you say you're a few mins early for drop off and pickup. Pickup fine but I HATED people being early for drop off, even a few mins massively impacted things sometimes as I'd be sorting my own out. I know it sounds silly to some but honestly, it can make all the difference. Having said that, I always remained friendly.

I will say that although you've NC'd, if your CM is on here then she'll likely to have an idea who you are now. I once posted about 5 years ago about having a stressful time at toddler group and next thing I know someone I met at that session said she think she'd met me. I didn't feel I'd given anything away and thought nah, not THAT little group in a village by me when there are groups all over the country. Turned out it WAS that person. So you'd be surprised what people can pick up in a message on here!

If it was me I'd go with the 'is everything ok' in a friendly way approach and see what she says.

One thing that has changed is the weather. I often get parents standing on the door step with the door wide open wanting to have a chat. I don't think they realise quite what a fortune it costs me to heat the house and how freezing it is to stand there with only a thin top on and an icy blast blowing in. If they come right into the hall and close the door behind them I will happily chat but otherwise I do try to have a quick handover.

Plus you have a diary - why do you need a verbal handover too? Such a waste of the cms time writing it if you just want to talk about it instead.

I've been reading CM threads too and agree that if she is MNer she will also have seen advice to have DCs ready by the door at pick up time to avoid dragging it out. It's better for the child to have a quick turnaround, no time for tears or dramatics and it means the CM can get back to the other DCs/preparing dinner/tidying up the carnage of the day!

I agree maryann. When my dcs were at CMer oldest would start to play up if i stayed to chat with CMer and it was easier just for her to have him ready to go when i arrived sk no chance for him getting bored standing with his stuff on while i chatted.

I find, whenever a parent comes in to the house and need my attention one of the children get really silly. They seem to think it becomes a free for all. My mindee (age 3.5) starts jumping on the furniture, emptying toy boxes, changing channels on the tv, scribbling on other children's pictures etc. This is fairly recent and i am trying to figure out how to get mum not to come into the house and stay in the hall, get the children ready quickly and out of the door. I open the door and she kind of side steps past me and ends up in the living room before I know what's happened.

It's not that I don't want to chat, but the child is generally well behaved for me, her behaviour changes completely when mum walks in and I can do without it, especially when it is so daily avoided. Is not that I don't want to chat, it's just impracticable to do so. I hope I'm polite about it though.

I do quick drop offs and pick ups, because it tends to be better for all the children concerned. I do smile though and chat if people want to. I openly invite parents to come in after work if they have specific concerns.

Does she have other children eating breakfast or tea who she needs to get back to?

As long as you don't drop off early, or pick up late, just ask her. It could be like me that making it quick stops disruption for all the children.

(I don't think OP is talking about me ...)

Just to warn you, if she's active she's likely to know exactly who you are, I remember the previous thread you are talking about quite clearly and there haven't been many of that kind!

I'd be concerned that she was shoving out of the door without so much as a smile or hello, there is a difference between "Hi, hope you're well, little Timmy had fun today! Bye!" and just pushing the child out of the door.

I always read these types of thread in trepidation that the CM in question might be me. It's not btw! :)

IF I were to be your CM however, I would be really cross and very disappointed in you that you chose to post on a forum you knew I used about your concerns prior to discussing them with me. I really don't think that's very fair.

Go and talk to her and ask her! There are a multitude of reasons that we can only guess at that might be causing this change in her behaviour.

I'm wondering if she's trying to set the tone for quick handovers since she's moved from being effectively your nanny, in your home, to being a childminder who runs her own business and will presumably in time have more children to deal with and more parents dropping off and picking up.

Alternatively, are you sure you are always on time to pick up? 5 mins late or more is extremely irritating at the end of a working day. Early drop offs are equally annoying - it eats in to family time that the childminder is not being paid for. That's the main thing I can think of that would make me become more abrupt with a parent.

Op maybe search threads on here where parents come in and dally about

Sure a cm posted last week about always finishing late and being pissed off about it and all said have child ready

Do you know each other's names on mn?

You've not said anything behind her back/ on Facebook? or on Mumsnet

Could've been misconstrued and fed back to her. It can be v bitchy profession to be in.

I would think she was off to hairdresser, or waiting for a supermarket delivery, or maybe even on a promise, nudge nudge

She a MNer... blimey, well, I think it's highly likely you will know exactly how she feels... anytime now.

I wonder if your dc has started going through a more difficult stage/phase?

It does sound only a minor thing - is there anything in your contact book about his behaviour?

Is it the 3rd time in a row, or the 3rd time in x number of weeks?