WWYD re nanny

Aww come on girls - surely you can see both sides of this.

The nanny knows that mum doesn't like to leave the girls to cry, but OTOH the nanny didn;t know the babe was ill, just thought babe was playing up.

I think it's just a case of mum being a little concerned that nanny wasn't her usual intuitive self.

Don't think mum should give up going out over this but equally don't think nanny is in the wrong.

'Tis just one of those things...

I'd feel a bit sad for dd that she was ill and the person looking after her didn't realise. But I wouldn't be cross with the nanny either - she probably wasn't obviously ill at that point, just crotchety. Bit surprised she doesn't know your children better though, does she only look after the baby while the others are at school? Just thinking if my nanny was babysitting she probably would pick up if ds was ill. And she would (and does) stay with him while he's dropping off, which is not something I'd ask of her, IYSWIM, she just does it because she's nice.

I think you should consider yourself lucky that she even told you your middle dd was up and crying. A lot wouldnt bother.

Im sorry your daughter is ill but what else should she have done??

I dont think you should go out if you dont like the fact she left her crying for such a short period of time. Poor nanny.

How old is she?

I'd say don't go out if you're worried about them being treated differently. Or make it explicit that you don't leave them to cry.

She's your usual nanny?

Would suggest you dont go out in future.

I think it's way out of order because you wouldn't expect or want someone babysitting for you to undertake controlled crying on your behalf, would you?

When babysitting or looking after other people's kids on a short term basis the rules for your own kids go by the board and you do what makes the kid comfortable and happy. Let the parents deal with the aftermath later.

Personally i dont think its out of order either.

And nor would i sit with a child until they fall asleep... children need to learn to setle themselves to sleep and fall asleep by themselves.

10 mins isnt exactly long to be 'left' crying... and she then fell asleep

if you always give in to a crying child they learn that crying = get what they want.

huh?! ok if you really feel that strongly about it i really dont understand why you have her as your nanny. She clearly does not have the same stance on how your children should be treated. Do you have other worries other than this one incident and maybe you should talk to her, she is not a mind reader and maybe thought she had done her best. She is not you and so therefore does not have the natural mother instinct that you have for your dd.

Im sorry but theres not a lot else she could have done really, unless you wanted her to get child up? How old is she? Sometimes its hard to know what they are crying for, and there are so many children that will play up and pretend to feel ill etc. when others babysit.
I dont neccessarily do control crying, but you can usually tell when a child is crying cuz they are tired, and after 4 times of going up I would have stopped going up.

Just out of interest what would you have done?

i personally wouldnt say 10 mins is "doing" controlled crying and as you say the poor girl didnt know your dd was coming down with something and obviously just thought she was playing her up. I have done this with my own ds!