WWYD re nanny

Good.

Seriously though, I really hope this thread has made her take a long hard look at herself and her attitude towards others who are providing a 'professional service', they are not slaves!!!

If it wasn't so I would be really about her attitude!

I want her to come back and stand up for herself, if she thinks she is right in the way she is acting then she should stay and fight

Good.

I reckon

WELL SAID!

Do you think we've scared her off?!

This is what makes me uneasy about the whole issue of nannies, mothers' helps, au pairs, cleaners, any "staff" employed to work in the home. I know for lots of people it works fine, and many people treat each other with courtesy and professionalism - but I can't quite forget that not so long ago in our culture it was normal and acceptable to look down on people who did domestic/childcare work quite openly, and treat them like menials. It makes my blood boil just thinking of anyone being treated like that, or anyone having the fcking nerve to think that they have the right to treat any employee with such disrespect. It's just snobbery*. PLain and simple - spoilt, ill-mannered, socially stunted, unattractive snobbery.

God, that's better

yep, probably!!

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I totally agree. Noone was namecalling or anything until this woman, who is clearly above everyone else, started being incredibly rude and I mean TERRIBLE TERRIBLE attitude!!!

I never get involved in things like this but was so at her attitude towards us lowly nothings that I had to post.

I still think she's an incredibly rude snob and I dread to think how her children will turn out.

Where has she gone anyway????

I did not saything offensive or even questioned her parenting skills at any point but suggested it was a misunderstanding between nanny and Hello Dolly. However when Hellodolly started namecalling and insulting childcarers as little more than a person who wipes bottoms and implying her superiority because of this I did feel HelloDolly has made herself fairgame.

You just can't get the staff these days

I defer to your superior offensiveness, Uwila

I don't think people have been too harsh, though. Rude, obnoxious snobs generally get their comeuppance on MN. It serves her right for showing such a stinking attitude. IMHO.

Uwila, I did originally post in exactly the way you've suggested, vaguely supportive but saying I thought she was being a bit OTT. But then she lashed out and started namecalling. Noone had been rude to her at that point.

And I do actually think it's fairly worrying if she has such a low opinion of the person looking after her children (if this is a nanny we are talking about, not just a babysitter). It will come across to the children and affect their attitude to their nanny. If you are being looked after by someone, you need to trust them and feel secure. If your mother clearly thinks they are unworthy, how can you do that? At the very least, she's risking them growing up being very self-important and rude to anyone they consider 'below' them. Which is a. darn rude and b. won't win them many friends.

Sorry couldn't read without posting.

I would expect my 4 yr old to tell who ever was caring for her that she was unwell. Otherwise yes she would be left to moan/cry and settle herself unless it was complete hysterics.

I work nights/DH works days and we would love the occassional break from the children but for most of us this is not possible, think you are very lucky to be able to go out and leave your children with a Norland Nanny glad you can afforrd it but at the end of the Day you are paying for the best qualified Nanny around and she probably knows the difference between when there is a problem and when she is being played up by a child.

4 yr olds are very manipulative and are often ill if they don't get enough sleep which in this case was quite possible. The nanny went in 4 times to settle her so I can't see what else she could of done. If you want things done differently either chat to Nanny and tell her to phone you if they won't settle and ask your advice or don't go out.

Wow, you lot have been really harsh on HD. I mean it. Had you presented your arguments in a kind way to say, really I think the nanny couldn't have been expected to know she was sick, and you are being a bit harsh. But, that is not what went on here and I'm not one bit surprised she lashed back with equally offending insults.

I think that HD's point is that because the nanny knows the child well and the fact that this child never gets up crying, the nanny should have known something was up with the uncharacteristic behaviour. However, I do d think that a lot of people, including mothers and nannies, would have missed the signs at that point. So, perhaps a simple reminder to the nanny as you go out tonight that if she cries, you would prefer she was cussled and not left to cry, in veiw of the fact that she is not normally like this and therefore it should be seen as a sign that she is still not quite 100% well.

And, Greensleeves, I am the most offensive personality on mumsnet.

BTW, HD, I too employ a nanny and you are welcome to CAT me for my opinion any time you like.

So, let me get this straight, HelloDolly blames her child's illness on the hired help, but then swanned off for another night out while her dd was ill? Strange attitude IMO. HD, if you can't bear someone else leaving your child for a whole ten minutes, why are you ever leaving the house?

As for nannies wiping bums, well yes, if a child isn't capable of doing that themselves, someone has to do it for them. I assume you have occasionally wiped your own children's bums - or do you leave that to the nanny too?

If you look down on nannies so much, why the hell are you leaving your children with one?

And is the poor woman your nanny or your babysitter?

And do you work or are you a SAHM?

Blimey, think someone needs to call Tanya Bryon and send her round sharpish.

ROFLMAO

Maybe she was never allowed to cry!

Message withdrawn

Is hellodolly not going to come back then
sounds a little like a stroppy child having a whinge and then throwing her toys out of the pram when not everyone agrees with her..................................then quick change to rude teenager........when she insults everyone and storms off!!!

nor have I!

and IF i never let the children cry.... and pandered to then when they were messing me around i think i might be sacked!

I'd love to meet these children who have never cried because I've never met one!

I didn't think any one said anything offensive enough for that response Hello Dolly. Also Hello Dolly I think you've made yourself look rather silly by being so rude to a group of people who have chosen to care to the best of their ability for other peoples children. As all mothers know being around small people can be frustrating and difficult at times but also very rewarding. As for the wiping bottoms thing well I hold my hands up to that and say yes I have done that but as all of my charges are now toilet trained, I've not that for a while now. I think when I did have untoilet trained children I spent more time dealing with temper tantrums than dirty bottoms. Further I'm surprised your babysitter/nanny agreed to look after your sick child, I wouldn't. I may be paid to wipe bottoms but not to clear up and deal with sickness, sorry that the mothers/fathers job and when the child is sick they don't want the babysitter they want ther parent. I don't think you will find any type of childcare be it nanny/babysitter/nursery or school that agree to that!

do you know, if this had happened to me I would probably be feeling guilty that I had gone out when she was coming don with something rather than blaming the babysitter with a 'holier than thou' attitude

God I wouldn't like to work for you!