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Original poster

AIBU - Au Pair

107 replies

Ralphsmummy · 04/10/2013 10:08

Am I being unreasonble?

We have an au pair. We have just had a bit of a calamity - husband in a serious bike crash last night - broken arm and ribs. Unusually, I have to go away for the weekend for a family wedding five hours away - I'm planning to take the two big kids with me, but leaving the 2.5 year old.

Au pair is basically refusing to help him out over the weekend. I appreciate its her days off, but to be honest its an emergency, and she stays in her room all day anyway (then goes out at night and gets back in at 6am, but thats another story). I'd be happy to pay more.

Is it me, or her?!

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thelittlemothersucker · 04/10/2013 10:22

Karma is a wonderful thing. She's going to want days off in the future for a family wedding / festivals / whatever, and she's just shot herself in the foot.

Original poster
Ralphsmummy · 04/10/2013 10:20

Yes, happy to pay her more, money isn't the issue. Am now looking into getting an emergency day nanny to come in for the two days instead.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ralphsmummy · 04/10/2013 10:18

Fair enough.

I can't take younger one (on train, too small a car at the other end, nowhere for him to sleep blah blah), it means us all missing the wedding. We shall have to not go, which is a shame for the family and also for the older children who have been looking forward to it for months. It would have been nice to have somebody who tried to make out lives easier and be more helpful tbh.

OP posts:
JustBecauseICan · 04/10/2013 10:16

YANBU to ask.
She is NBU to say no.

YA perhaps BU to still be going to the wedding if it's all so dramatic and calamitous.

Have you offered her a bonus for doing it?

DSM · 04/10/2013 10:15

Sorry - YABU. It's really unfortunate situation, and it would be lovely if she could help, but you can't expect her to. Much like my boss can't demand that I work on my day off because of something unexpected. He can ask, but he can't be annoyed if I say no.

grabaspoon · 04/10/2013 10:13
  1. No YANBU to ask but she is BU to say No - its her time off to do with it how she likes -I am a live in nanny while I am ok to help where needed I have on occasion said NO which leaves my employer in a sticky position but can't change plans etc

2 "and she stays in her room all day anyway (then goes out at night and gets back in at 6am, but thats another story)" Why is this relevant - many a weekend I have stayed in my room writing essays, slobbing out - remember our room is also our lounge space - so shes just hanging about in her lounge, watching tv, then going out for supper/drinks in the evening.

SPBisResisting · 04/10/2013 10:10

Sorry fo hear about your dh

I think yabu sorry. She might have plans. Can you takr the younger one? Yes your plans might have to change but this is your family and your problem