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Original poster

Au pair, own room or sharing with child?

39 replies

Farala · 03/10/2013 00:10

We live in a tiny flat in central London, with only two rooms (one bedroom and one living room which we use as second bedroom). For now it's just me and DD, but we want to bring an au pair and don't know what would work best, if to give her my room or to put her in DD's bedroom (in another single bed). Whatever the case, one of us would have to sleep with DD. Thoughts?

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/10/2013 03:00

So perhaps on a tourist visa, rather than a working one? So not really an au pair.

I totally understand the need for affordable chiildcare. I also totally understand the disquiet around "private" arrangements. But I don't think it's a good idea to get childcare on the cheap.

whatnameshallibetoday · 03/10/2013 02:16

actually I know a liv eout au pair, she came here to be with her boyfriend and the arrangement suits everyone, I doubt she is officially living with him though

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 03/10/2013 01:48

There's no such thing as a "live out au pair", the whole point of the relationship is that the au pair is part of your family, like a big brother/sister, who contributes various domestic tasks (childcare of a six yo for those hours would be fine) in return for a roof over the head and a bit of dosh, usually around £80 a week. And English lessons would be good, the reason they au pair is to improve their language skills.

Original poster
Farala · 03/10/2013 01:19

sorry about the bad typing, Im using my phone

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Original poster
Farala · 03/10/2013 01:18

No, she hasn't seen the flat, but I sent her pictures and explained her the distribution. She is very excited about coming to London.

Re the hours, I had thought 2 hours in the mornings, 3 in the evenings, 5 days per week, plus two nights for babysitting... that's less than 35 hours per week I think, what is the usual? I feel a bit clueless, it's my first time hiring an aunpair, any advice would be of great help.

How much do live-out au pairs charge? What are their pros and cons?

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duchesse · 03/10/2013 00:48

I think you're going to have to give the AP the bedroom and you and DD use the living room bedroom. AP need their own living space ime. Maybe the size of the flat will be compensated by the location but it sounds a bit of a tight squeeze to me.

bsc · 03/10/2013 00:47

I thought they were supposed to have their own room!
You'll have to share with DD, or get a live-out nanny. It sounds like you'll need more childcare than an AP is supposed to do.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 03/10/2013 00:44

Has she been to your flat?

I honestly can't see it being possible to have an Au Pair in such a tiny flat :(

Original poster
Farala · 03/10/2013 00:28

MacaYoni the girl is 17 and used to sharing with other 2 sisters.

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Original poster
Farala · 03/10/2013 00:24

Thanks for the tip, I think putting a tv in her room a great idea!

I really want her to be OK and this to work for everyone! I'll be starting a new full time job soon and am trying to arrange everyhing...

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MacaYoniandCheese · 03/10/2013 00:24

Oh gosh. I don't think you can expect a grown (or semi-grown) person to share a room with a child. That's not reasonable Confused.

Original poster
Farala · 03/10/2013 00:23

True! DD is 5, almost 6. She still wakes up sometimes and gets in my bed. Hmm

When I thought of putting them together, I was thinking it'd be easier for the AP in terms of dressing her up in the mornings, putting her to bed etc. But yes I think the girl would like some privacy / rest from us too!

Ah, I wish we lived in a bigger flat! Has anyone had the same problem?

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JeanPaget · 03/10/2013 00:22

I don't think many AP's would agree to sharing a room with a child to be honest.

With the limited hours AP's work, they have quite a bit of free time and mine have always enjoyed having their own space to chill, Skype and watch TV etc.

PosyNarker · 03/10/2013 00:17

How big are the rooms & how old is the little now?

You can't expect an adult with limited childcare responsibilities to share with a young child with multiple waking, bed wetting, whatever. If she's 10 that's maybe okay, but how do you work DD's bedtime with letting the AP be an adult. On a night off she might stay out beyond 1am and unless you've explicitly stated that's not okay, she won't know.

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