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Original poster

Nanny abusing children - DESPERATELY NEED ADVICE

57 replies

Mummyneedshelp1 · 30/09/2013 23:35

My eldest 9 year old child has just revealed our nanny has been mistreating her - smacking on legs and face and threatening to get her in trouble if she reveals anything.

She went on to say she did the same thing with her baby sister (18 months) Perhaps even treating her worse - ignoring the baby when she falls and hurts herself, shouting at her, smacking her thigh. Apparently the nanny even threw a ball at the baby and when it hit her head which hurt her and made her cry the nanny just put the volume up on the TV so the crying didn't disturb her TV watching.

It seems the nanny behaves in a completely different way when I and my husband are not around.

As you can imagine, this news is most distressing. Made worse by the fact I could see the baby changed towards the nanny. Wouldn't want to go to her, would suddenly stand still staring away from her in her presence, clinging on to me if I would pass her to the nanny.

I dread to think what the nanny could have done to the baby when my eldest daughter isn't around.

Needless to say the nanny is gone - on our next meeting I will be firing her evil butt without pay.

My question is how can she be disciplined for such poor and potentially illegal actions?

Though she smacked my children, she did not leave any marks. We also have no proof, no video.... It will just be my daughters word against the nanny's.

As a Filipina, I also don't think she is registered with Ofsted nor has any records for CRB.

However - I am aware she has just been legally made a British citizen. I don't know if there is anything I can do about that.

Also I have details of a family she still babysits for - I don't know if it might be worth finding out how the nanny behaves with them and perhaps warning them about her.

Yes - I am angry, fuming even about this revelation. But more than that, I actually would like to protect other families and other children from going through this experience. There must be some way other parents can be warned and make sure she never works with children again.

I haven't let the nanny know I know yet - I want to handle this as delicately and wisely as possible. The baby is with grand father and I am always around when she is with my daughter - when she behaves well.

Pls forgive the length of this post. It has all been quite frightful really

:( :( :(

OP posts:
afromom · 01/10/2013 00:08

CAB is Citizen's Advice Bureau
SS is Social Services

I would definitely contact the other family.

Did the nanny come through an agency or was it a private arrangement?

BrianTheMole · 01/10/2013 00:07

Citizens advice bureau and social services. Although I work for social services, and apart from checking to see if she is known on the system we would generally say to contact the police.

Original poster
Mummyneedshelp1 · 30/09/2013 23:59

Hi all

Thanks kindly for all your responses!

Anciientbuchanan - what is CAB and SS??

And yes - my husband and I have spoken to my daughter at length. Even if there is a possibility she might not be telling the truth, we wouldn't be any kind of parents to ignore. Also - some of the words she uses to describe what the nanny says to her aren't words from her every day vocabulary

Besides - my husband and I were growing suspicious of the baby's reaction to her. The baby was clearly scared to be with her

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 30/09/2013 23:52

why would you employ some one as a nanny without crb checks or being offsted registered? is that not just madness? also please make absolutely sure your 9 yr old is being wholly truthful before involving police etc. I wouldnt have employed someone to look after children who wasnt registered.

ancientbuchanan · 30/09/2013 23:48

Umm, you will have to be v careful to avoid slander.

If I were you I would enquire of CAB and also SS what the position is.

She should be CRBd. Anyone who works with children should be.

You had better also be clear about what reference you give, if any, as you don't want to either to be done for libel nor not provide due warnings to higher employers. Hence suggestion of CAB and SS.

BrianTheMole · 30/09/2013 23:40

Yes I think I would mention it to the other family as well.

BrianTheMole · 30/09/2013 23:39

Hmm, difficult. What a horrible situation. My first thoughts are to run it by the police and see what they think. It may not get anywhere, but it will be on record. I think that would be a good place to start.

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