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Original poster

I HATE being an au pair.

34 replies

ddwah2 · 05/09/2013 16:40

Basically I have a fiancé back at home, the family are nice and all on that side is well. But I've been getting so depressed I've stopped eating, I don't sleep much anymore so I feel like a zombie, I just don't think it's benefiting any of us being here. How do I say "I call it quits" and do I give some notice. Bear in mind I'm only 3 weeks in, but like I said, I'm not eating, sleeping and I've been feeling more depressed.

Help fellow mothers?

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Original poster
ddwah2 · 05/09/2013 19:12

Not one bit, my family love my fiancé, so that isn't the issue. It's just due to the fact my mother was never an au pair so she was living her dream through me I guess. Christmas is no option, if I could I would pack my bags and leave right now, but that's unfair on the family. I know what it is like to have no options after somebody quits suddenly. I've tried to enjoy it, but it's impossible, I feel like a walking zombie at the moment.

If I leave I'm going to a careers advisor to discuss working in administration, I also will have a job to go back to.

OP posts:
racingheart · 05/09/2013 18:54

This one is really tough. Why did your family push you into it? Did they think you needed some distance from your fiancé? Did they worry you had no motivation in life?

If you are desperately unhappy (and it sounds as if you are) then call it quits. But it's very early days and quite normal to feel unsettled. Have you tried to make the best of it? Have you joined up to any social activities that might help you make friends? It's hard to know whether if you stay you'll be having the time of your life by Christmas, or whether your instinct is right.

What will you do if you leave? Do you have positive plans for the future?

Strix · 05/09/2013 18:35

I would say 4 weeks. But I expect the family might be a bit annoyed with your inability to cope. You should have considered these things before you took the job. However as you are so miserable I agree the best thing is for you to end it sooner rather than later.

Original poster
ddwah2 · 05/09/2013 17:33

I have no contract, but would they still pay for me to work?

OP posts:
User3433399 · 05/09/2013 17:32

Yes, I think four weeks is reasonable notice (unless you have a contract that says something different). Until then can you arrange to go home for at least one day at the weekend? I would guess once you've handed in your notice and there's an end it sight you will start to feel a lot better.

Original poster
ddwah2 · 05/09/2013 16:56

Yes I am in the UK, I'm English so my home is 2 train rides away (5 hours long though) but even still I just hate being here, I have no friends, I miss my fiancé, it's just annoying as although I'm mature and older, my family still pushed me into this.

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Original poster
ddwah2 · 05/09/2013 16:53

Would 3-4 weeks be decent notice? Thank you for your help.

OP posts:
User3433399 · 05/09/2013 16:46

Erm, yes, if that's the case then quit. Thank the family for their kindness, and explain calmly that you are suffering through being away from home and fiance and need to go back. DO give decent notice though so the family are able to get the cover they need, as it's not professional (and not very fair) just to walk out, especially if they have treated you well.

I'm sure the parents and kids will have noticed if you are that unhappy, and to be honest it's not good for anyone for you to be there in that state.

Do it soon, go home and feel better. Good luck.

SunnyIntervals · 05/09/2013 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.