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Original poster

Gut feeling about childminder....am i being silly?

40 replies

HelpMePleaseImConfused · 15/08/2013 11:59

This is a bit unusual, but i am currently looking for a childminder for my baby ds. I thought we had it sorted with a childminder my dh had known since he was young himself, and she happened to have outstanding OFSTED report and fantastic parental reviews. On paper she is perfect. All was great until i met her.

I sound neurotic and i cant explain it, but upon meeting her, i just feel very uneasy around her and my gut feeling is telling me i don't want to leave him there. She can be slightly abrupt in her mannerisms and when speaking to her occasionally, but at the same time comes across as friendly and good with the children...but even when she is like this i sense an underlying feeling that i can't explain.

I thought maybe i was just nervous about leaving him with someone i essentially dont know, but i have been to visit nurseries and other childminders and i dont get the same uneasy feeling. The problem is, my inability to explain the feeling and to give a good reason for him not going there is annoying my husband who knows her and says he trusts her. This is particularly as i have not found another childminder or nursery with as good experience/recommendations/reviews/extra qualifications that she has.

Is there anything to be said for gut feeling when choosing childcare? Its not helping that i am normally quite an intuitive person, and am normally right with my first impressions about people. Only this time i dont know what is bothering me. Am i being silly?

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OutragedFromLeeds · 15/08/2013 17:32

Sunny Nannies are not rated by Ofsted so beware of any nanny who tells you she has been rated anything by Ofsted!

OP gut instinct is very important, you must be happy with whoever you leave your DS with. Your DH's gut instinct is also important though and I think you need to bear that in mind. You need to find someone/somewhere that you both feel is right.

LynetteScavo · 15/08/2013 16:17

You are not being silly.

At the end of the day, you can't leave your DS somewhere which doesn't sit well with your gut instinct, so using this childminder isn't a realistic option.

OFSTED and qualifications aren't everything.

Original poster
HelpMePleaseImConfused · 15/08/2013 16:05

This is true with regards to the OFSTED, it is not the be all and end all for me as i know it is a reflection of how they implement or are seem to implement the early years criteria in their paperwork. But what is most inportant to me is that i feel he is happy, safe and cared for.

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 15/08/2013 16:05

I know several excellent childminders who have been rated satisfactory by Ofsted.

littlestressy · 15/08/2013 15:52

Go with your gut, my childminder is lovely I liked her immediately and my DS loves going there. I didn't really bother with OFSTED rating; she showed me it and she has been rated good (although I think she is outstanding) but to me that was not the most important thing. The most important thing to me was that she was qualified, caring and treats my son well. Which she does.

SunnyIntervals · 15/08/2013 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HelpMePleaseImConfused · 15/08/2013 15:48

Cansu, this is a very interesting point because i asked whether she took the children to any groups as some other childminders said they do, and she said she didnt. She prefers to do her own thing with them. I also raised couple of hypothetical concerns i had with her, and she didnt reassure me in the way i expected, she has a slightly odd manner. The way she is as a person doesnt match up to how well she interacts with children for whatever reason. Thanks Sunny, i am glad other people have experience this and im not coming across as insane

OP posts:
SunnyIntervals · 15/08/2013 15:39

This reply has been deleted

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cansu · 15/08/2013 15:36

I felt this with the childminder I eventually used. As it turns out I think she was good with children but v poor with adults. The children were well cared for but they perhaps missed out a bit as she didn't really like mixing with other childminders etc so tended to keep herself a bit apart and more at home. If you don't like her then don't use her.

Original poster
HelpMePleaseImConfused · 15/08/2013 15:32

Thanks everyone for your replies. Blonde, she isnt much older than some of the others ive seen, my dh has known her since he was young so she is probably late 50s and has been childminding for a number of years. Tywy, i have debated leaving him on a trial basis, but the feeling is so strong that i literally would worry about leaving him for even the short term. I cant explain why it is so strong or what i am worried about, but every time i let myself decide that i wont leave him there, i feel instant relief. Perhaps it is just her personality that i really don't gel with and i just feel uneasy round her generally, im not sure. We have contingency plans in the short term which has relieved some of the pressure.

The thing is, i have been to other places which i dont think are quite right, but i dont get this same overwhelming feeling in my stomach. It may just be that i dont feel she is right, but feel obliged because of my husband's links to her. I have met another childminder who i liked, but who only had satisfactory for OFSTED and a nursery i really liked which had been rated outstanding, but i am not so keen on the nursery setting in general. Because she seems so outwardly good and is good on paper, it is difficult for me to justify not choosing her in comparison.

OP posts:
Poppylovescheese · 15/08/2013 15:07

I agree you have to go with your gut instinct. It is always right.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/08/2013 15:07

trust your gut

am assuming this cm is older then others you have seen if your dh has known her since a child, or did you mean is a friend of dh?

drinkyourmilk · 15/08/2013 13:51

Go with your gut.
Just because she is perfect for someone else doesn't mean she is perfect for you. Doesn't make her a bad childminder.

tywysogesgymraeg · 15/08/2013 12:16

I also think gut feeling is important. But if you can't find anyone else, why don't you agree with DH to put DS there on a trial basis? You may well warm to the woman as time goes on.

Could you have a chat with parents of the other mindees?

HSMMaCM · 15/08/2013 12:14

I think gut feeling is one of the most important things when choosing Childcare.

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