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Original poster

Never ever employing a nanny again

107 replies

knackeredmother · 19/06/2013 16:56

I have already posted in legal but would be grateful for some opinions/help from this board.
I've posted about my nanny a number of times and it's safe to say our relationship has completely broken down now.
So....

We have had a nanny for over 2 years. She is looking to leave in September so we agreed leave verbally on an accrued basis rather than yearly. From April to August she has 5 days leave (works 2 days per week, 5.6 weeks pro rata per year).
She has already taken 4 of her 5 days leave. She has a 2 week holiday booked in August, I have agreed to this despite her not having enough leave.
She then asked for a further week unpaid leave. I said no for a number of reasons. She repeatedly asked, I repeatedly said no.
We are now in a stalemate situation where she has categorically said she is taking the extra week leave despite me saying no.
She initially said she may leave as i wouldnt allow the extra holiday but now is saying 'I (employer) need to decide what to do'. I keep repeating the line that I would like her to carry on working for us but can not give her the extra week, I've already given more than she is entitled to etc.
I get the impression she wants to be sacked so she can go to tribunal for cash and she is receiving advice not to leave.
I can't afford to pay her redundancy and don't see why I should when she is making the situation difficult.
So, the advice I need is can I call this gross misconduct on her part and let her go? Or am I in for an expensive and stressful fight?
Do I need to wait until she actually fails to arrive for work before Ican sack her?
I have no doubt she plans to try and get money out of me as she has stated her intention to leave in September anyway, is blatantly telling me she is taking the time off regardless of what I say. Surely you would just leave early in August if you were in her situation?
Anyway this is stressing me out so much, I feel she is just laughing at us and in law can do whatever she likes - someone please tell me this is not so!
Or just a friendly ear will do I've really had enough now!

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Runoutofideas · 19/06/2013 17:27

I think WeareEternal is more correct than me. It may be better to tell her if she doesn't turn up you will take that to mean that she has chosen to leave your employ with immediate effect, thereby making the decision hers to resign rather than yours to dismiss.

Original poster
knackeredmother · 19/06/2013 17:24

She has just text to say she doesn't have to or want to hand in her notice and wants to know what will happen when she doesn't turn up for work. I need to be sure legally I can call that gross misconduct as she clearly intends to take it further.
Why would any sane employee think this was reasonable?

OP posts:
WeAreEternal · 19/06/2013 17:15

Oh and I would start presenting her with verbal and written warning every time she does something that you don't agree with, that way you will have a good defence if she does try anything legal.

WeAreEternal · 19/06/2013 17:12

I would send her a letter (recorded/sign for post) stating that as per the terms of her contract she has taken all of her entitled leave and that you do not agree to any additional leave, paid or unpaid. You understand that she would like to take leave from x date to x date but you do not agree to this.
And your letter is to officially inform her that if she fails to turn up for work on x day then you will consider that to be her formal resignation, you will no longer consider her to be employes by you and any contract you have will be terminated as of that date.

Basically if she doesn't turn up on that day she is quitting her job.

It sounds like she will be doing you a favour.

Original poster
knackeredmother · 19/06/2013 17:12

Runoutofideas, she suggested leaving sooner but there has been a sudden about turn whereby she won't leave but is still intending to take unauthorised leave. This makes me think she has been getting advice not to leave. Everything is in writing, she has text me to say she is not leaving but still taking the unauthorised holiday and that I need to decide what to do (?!!!)
Notsonervous, the way she is being so blatant about it makes me think she knows she can get away with it.
I am literally on the edge with all of the stress!

OP posts:
Runoutofideas · 19/06/2013 17:02

I'm not a lawyer, but I would put in writing that you are unable to permit her request for unpaid leave on x dates. If she fails to arrive for work on those dates it will be considered gross misconduct and she will be dismissed. Maybe suggest that if she wants more holiday over the summer she should hand in her notice sooner? Not sure how you stand legally though...

NotSoNervous · 19/06/2013 17:00

Sorry I have no advice but she sounds a nightmare. I hope you get some good advice and whatever it is I would stick completely to the rules so that when you have alot of evidence to sack her and leave her with no possible way to try and get any money out of you.

I don't know how these things work but I would start having complaints about her behavior now and go through the whole verbal warning, written warning ect...

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