Never ever employing a nanny again

I'm very far from an expert but it seems to me that the problem is that you will be paying the solicitor and paying costs for whatever trumped up case she wishes to raise (whether you win or lose) when you could have simply paid her the money in the first place.

Nobody wants the solicitors to be the only ones to benefit

"She is looking to leave in September"

Then this is absolutely not a redundancy situation
Or have I missed something?

If you need another nanny you can't make her redundant. You therefore need to go down the dismissal route and follow the disciplinary procedure in your contract. As long as you follow that to the letter you can be shot of her in a couple of months if you have reasonable grounds - and her attitude is definitely making the relationship untenable so that would count.

You would need to do that anyway to give a negative reference - a bad reference must be accurate.

Not seeing where redundancy is coming in here tbh...she wants to leave? So she is resigning

Employees cannot just do what they please and laugh all the way to a tribunal

From what you've said I would argue any one of the following:

Failure to follow a reasonable request ie turn up to work when you are expected

Being absent without leave

Frustrating her own contract of employment

You make it clear that her request has been considered and rejected

If she fails to turn up, you consider it a disciplinary matter

No further discussion on the subject.

Btw, from July, people have to pay to file a claim wihh an ET...new plan to weed out vexatious claims

So not be bullied!

You need a lawyer. I would be asking them all sort of questions as I wouldn't want to leave my DC with someone this unprofessional.

If she has agreed to leave in September and will be away for 2 weeks already in August I would be seeking advice for moving her leave date to July 31st. She can go on holiday on her own time. A month should be enough time to find a replacement. Worst case you could use a CM.

Knackered - I'd be furious if an employee spoke to me like that.
I would just send her an email (therefore recorded) stating that you are unable to authorise the leave and if she does not turn up on the stated date you will class that as gross misconduct.

I really wouldn't let it stress you. Have something as back up if she fails to turn up (suss out a few childminders, holiday clubs). She'll need a reference at some point, which you can just refuse to give, maybe then she'll think again about doing it to another employer. If she does ask for one you can just give the standard xxx worked for me from xxxx to xxxx. Please call for further details and then you can give them the details.

The vast majority of nannies are professional - always

1. Pay slightly in arrears
2. Have a clause that states that you can deduct a reasonable amount from their final salary if they fail to fulfil their full notice period to cover for expenses incurred as a result of failing to work their notice period.

Use this calculator to work out how much redundancy will be

Is there any chance you were rounding up and she's been there less than 2 years?

You can't make her redundant if the position isn't redundant. Do you still need a nanny in September?

If it's possible to make her redundant I would do so as soon as you can find alternative care. Start calling childminders now. Find alternative care and then make her redundant asap. The payment is likely to be very low as she only work 2 days and has only been there for 2 years. It'll be worth it to see the look on her face when you give her notice!

I'd pay the redundancy and get rid ASAP. I would not have someone looking after my children, with whom the relationship had deteriorated so badly. It will be the equivalent of two weeks pay I think. I'd beg, borrow or steal; well not steal, but you know what I mean! I know you probably dont want her to 'win' so to speak, but I'd just want the stress to end. Pay her off and in a few weeks she'll be a distant memory! Otherwise your prob looking at months of it! What an unpleasant situation, I really feel for you. Good luck x

Can you go to see a solicitor? It would probably be worth it. Nightmare.

I would just say she is redundant as from today and pay redundancy. It would be cheaper that paying her wage until September then redundency

It's only roughly 1 weeks wage per year

You need flowery. If you put a call out for her in the Employment section, she will probably be able to help you with the legal side of your issues.

Good luck, whatever. You do. Sounds like a total nightmare.

Just a couple of questions (am not a legal bod, just interested) Is the job changing in September? Have you given notice of those changes? Have you given her redundancy notice?

Can you try talking with her about why handing in her notice and sticking to what she originally said would really be in her best interests - perhaps because you will be happier to speak to future employers about how happy you have been with her work with your children ? And how it is always good to leave on friendly terms. I presume there is nothing legally to stop you having such a conversation with her ?

No advice, but I suggest that when she does finally fuck off, agree to give her references for future jobs and then tell the truth about what a bitch she's been (sending straight to prospective employers so she can't intercept)

Firstly what does your contract say is gross misconduct?

You can definitely send the letter saying you refuse to grant the leave to which she is not entitled, and include proof of when she had taken leave this year, and tell her that not turning up will result in instant dismissal.

I'm sorry you're having such a stressful time. Do you have legal cover on your home insurance? If your empliter's liability is through that then you should.

Personally I'd try to talk it over with her in a friendly way and say you feel if she wants so much holiday in August and is planning to leave anyway in September that you suggest she leaves before her holiday in August, and you will pay her for the holiday she is entitled to ?
See if you can't come to a friendly agreement before going down the route of dismissal etc.
I've worked as a nanny for two families and my friend has been a nanny too, and personally I think it would be nice to see more placements end on friendly terms where possible

Surely if things have reached the stage they have you no longer want her looking after your kids anyway?

Is the redundancy a lot?

Depends if you can bear to to play chicken and wait to see who flinches first.

On principle I guess I'd want to do this, especially as you believe she'll leave in Sept. But in reality, I think it would be money well spent for a swift conclusion. I don't think I'd want her working out her notice either. But that's easy to say and not so easy if you don't actually have the money.

It might be worth giving Acas a ring and talking it over with them www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4296 and here www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=4098

I would suggest issuing a verbal warning which is followed up in writing for her unacceptable conduct in threatening to take unauthorised leave and indicating that doing so will constitute gross misconduct which will result in her immediate dismissal without notice.

Can't you just give a nanny notice as per the contract, like a childminder/nursery?