Never ever employing a nanny again

If you could use alternative childcare then redundancy is probably the quickest and easiest....

I am not an employment lawyer but I will say one thing. once scumbags like this get in their head they are going to take you to tribunal they will do it whether you do the right thing or no. She is banking on you not having the stomach for a fight and you need to show her that you have.

Is there a figure that she wants?

I'm assuming this person is planning to leave paid employment. She cannot seriously expect any kind of reference from you and 2 years is too long a period to go simply unaccounted for.
I would simply give her notice and indicate she is required to work the period. if she fails to attend as required, gross misconduct, instant dismissal, whistle for your money you appalling individual.

Sorry, bits of mine are garbled as trying to type quickly before having to run back upstairs to DS again

But hopefully you get the gist...

I wonder what would happen is she just says she's sick those days? Or if she has a child under 5 or a disabled child she can could maybe them as parental leave?

What's difficult to give advice o. Without seeing all your relevant paperwork is the definition of gross misconduct in your case - there is not really one standard definition, it's set by the terms of your contract, handbook (although you probably don't have one) etc

One interesting reason for dismissal that does not have to be either redundancy or dismissal is for 'some other substantial reason'

The SOSR dismissal is for things that don't really fall user one of the other headings, but are significant enough to warrant that course of action

Now, I would argue that a completely intransigent employee, who is expressly going against the stated terms of her employment and the express decision you have already explained to her, is reducing the relationship to one that is no longer sustainable and you have list trust and confidence. So, potentially it could be a SOSR case.

The key thing an ET is looking at in reaching a decision re unfair dismissal is whether an employer has acted fairly ie made a reasonable decision that another reasonable person would also reach. This is clearly quite subjective, but I think if you go doe. He route of saying to her

"I have considered your request. In light of the difficulties caused to me in having to find an alternative solution if you do not attend work as contracted to do, I regret that I cannot agree to further leave. If you go ahead and take the leave anyway, I will be forced to consider that you no longer wish to see out the remainder of your contract"

BUT - and I hate to say this - you have already given her extra time off...so does another 2 days really make a difference? If you can genuinely say yes, I'd consider the SOSR route. If not...well, no good deed goes unpunished.

An employment lawyer friend of mine recently put the odds of winning a case (even if you really think it's a good one) at no more than 75%

So essentially you have to take a view on the risks

NB: I work in HR and used to employ a nanny. I have also uttered the words 'I am never employing another nanny'. It is not easy...

ACAS could not help, so it must be a complex thing. If unauthorised absence is written in the gross misconduct section, then I guess it is an easy situation but if it is not written in there, then it may be misconduct rather than gross misconduct.

Did ACAS point you towards their guides to dealing with employees?
m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=924 - this is aimed at small employers, so may be worth a read.

Have you got anything in writing about her intention to leave? I had an employee (but not a nanny so law could be different) who had resigned then changed their mind but we didn't and accepted their resignation nonetheless - clearly if they'd been any good we would've kept them. I wonder if you could follow that route?

She sounds vile. Poor you.

You can not retrospectively define gross misconduct but it can have broad scope. Theft, violence, criminal prosecution, that sort of thing is easy to say fits gross misconduct, subject to there being proof. Insubordination, not turning up to work will be harder to fit in my view. It is certainly misconduct but is it gross misconduct?

I too would suggest that you call any emloyer helplines you have, start with ACAS as that is free and you can discuss at length with them about the situation and get the employment law specifics as clear as possible. Then call your insurers legal line if you need to double check the legal specifics.

You need to take professional advice not ask an internet forum imo

Acas will give you advice on how to proceed - they know all the legal ins and outs.

So, she works two days a week? wants a weeks paid leave? Is this five days or two days as she only works two days a week? I would be inclined to just say fine, have the two days unpaid to save myself further hassle.

You could (potentially, again I'm not a lawyer) count the "well, I'm going to take the leave anyway, so what are you going to do about it?" as insolence and hence misconduct and give her a written warning for that; if your relationship's broken down to the extent you describe then surely there will be other instances of regular misconduct between now and August; make sure you follow your contractual procedure re warnings etc. for those and that she's on a final written warning before the date of the projected unauthorised holiday and you'll have a good paper trail to justify sacking her at that point.

If the job still exists I.e you will need another nanny, then you are not making her redundant. She is either choosing to leave or you are asking her to go? Also as others have said it sounds like she will be committing gross misconduct giving you he right to terminate her employment? ACAS are fantastic and are certainly worth a call. They are totally confidential and can just give proper advise as to where you stand legally.

I think that absenteeism in general doesn't constitute gross misconduct but that you can give her clear notice that taking this particular unauthorised absence after being explicitly told that you won't allow it will be considered gross misconduct and render her liable to immediate summary dismissal.

But I'm not a lawyer and you should confirm that with ACAS or a solicitor.

Does she have a job to go to in September? If not,it might be that she is trying to get you to sack her so she is able to claim benefits as if she just left, she would not be entitled.

As others have said, you can't make her redundant because the position isn't redundant.

The only other option is to sack her. Follow the procedures in your contract.

Or, just let her have the extra 2 days off. Make her take the full 3 weeks unpaid if she doesn't have enough holiday. Use annual leave or temporary care to cover. This is probably easier, although I couldn't stand to employ someone for the next few months who had this attitude.

I just wanted to add my two cents worth from a nanny's point of view. I'm so sorry to hear of your predicament and think it's bloody awful and unprofessional what she is doing. It makes people like her give all us nannies a bad name and makes parents really worry over hiring someone in the future.
There are a huge amount of us good ones out there who stick to our signed contract agreements and I hope that in time you can trust another nanny to look after your children if you need to.
If she has signed a contract stating her agreed holiday days then she has no right to ask for more and expect you to just deal with it. It would be the equivalent of you saying that as her employer you were taking an extra week off but deciding not to pay etc. If you were to do something that wasn't agreed on the contract then she would kick up a fuss and state her rights.
I hope that you do seek legal advice and that you can pull the rug out from under her feet. People like that make me sick.
Ok rant over.
xx