After school activities

It can be good value for money when it works well. If you get a top notch nanny for 20% below market rates, to look after your 3 children and one of her own, I'd say that was pretty good value.

I would never call someone stupid for not wanting a nanny, that's personal choice. It is stupid to not want a nanny simply because you've heard a story or two about bad nannies. That's prejudice and prejudice is stupid. There are bad examples of every profession.

yes, outraged, and there are working arrangements and practices which make it much more likely for the outcome to be unsatisfactory. Apart from anything, it's not good value for money - so call me stupid if I don't want to spend £30k of taxed income for someone to look after their own child

I just want to point out, as I always do on threads like this, that this is one example of one bad nanny.

There are people who are bad at their job in EVERY job, EVERY profession.
Dismissing all of a particular group because of one bad egg is the definition of prejudice. Prejudiced people are stupid people, as we all know.

Comments like 'I'm going to point people to this thread hwen they ask if NWOC is a good idea - you're confirming all my prejudices about that kind of arrangement' are silly.

How did it go op ??

Normal practice in would be that the nanny prioritises their charges activities. I've never heard of any nannies doing what this one did. Terrible! Most nannies woc that I know would never work like this.

My advice would be to tell the nanny you have x class for your child/ren. It's not a discussion. Surely she has the skills to entertain the others during the class? Do homework, have a snack, etc.

I know it's not helpful to you, or this thread, but actually, the more I think about it, the more amazed I am that anyone would pay 90% of whatever it costs to have a Nanny for their 2 children, to have a Nanny that also brings 2 other children to work with her, and then expects to be able to take her children to things your children wouldn't be going to. . Is this normal practice in Nanny employing land ?

If I were you I would say:

No taking your children to drop her children off somewhere. Her children tag along with what your children are doing, not the other way round. If she wants her kids to go to activities, she has to arrange for someone else to do that.

You want your children to go to activities - what happens with her children aren't your concern.

"Unfortunately she has been employed for over 12 months. Will need to go with the get tough option."

That is really hard. Has she had a review. Have you set out to her that she is REQUIRED to take your child to extra curricular activites on that day. Prehaps you need to get things in writing.

Sacking someone with more than 12 months service is difficult but not impossible. You need to get a solitor's advice to make everything watertight. (ie. proper warning and a chance to improve etc.)

But it's not your problem if it's having an impact on her children! Right now, you're paying her and your children are the ones that are being ferried about while her kids go to activities that your kids wanted to go to. I know I'm being really blunt but I'm absolutely incensed that she's taking advantage of you like this.

I'm a pretty soft touch but I'm kind until people take the piss. You need to get tough or get shot.

" But it is really difficult when you don't want to make decisions which will have a negative impact on her her children- no matter that she hasn't shown me the same consideration. "

Working parents have to compromise their children's activites. This should apply to the nanny as much as anyone else.

It is clear that this nanny doesn't care a damn about your daughter's feelings or indeed has any empathy. If she has been in your employment for less than a year it is quite easy to sack her and she has no recourse to an employment tribunal.

Have to agree with others - surely the point of having a Nanny, as opposed to a CM is that you employ them, and part of the deal is that they take your dc where you want them taken, be that a class, and activity, a haircut, or the park. I can't see how she has a leg to stand on tbh.

I wouldn't care how much cheaper it was if she was prioritising her kids over yours. Sorry, but she's treating you like an absolute mug

what ReallyTired said. I'm going to point people to this thread hwen they ask if NWOC is a good idea - you're confirming all my prejudices about that kind of arrangement. Can work well when children are very small, but would take a saint not to abuse the employment relationship in their own child's favour.

"There was a group my own daughter wanted to go to but nanny indicated it would be inconvenient. Then without asking me she started her dd, taking the last place in the group and causing some inconvenience to my children and the arrangements we have in place."

That is awful. She should not give preferential treatment to her own daughter. If anything your daughter should come first as you are paying her!

It must feel utterly horrid for your daughter to watch another child being taken to an activity that she would have loved to have done. Either both girls should go or the nanny needs to make alternative arrangments.

Maybe if you get more demanding of her then she'll hand in her notice and you can find someone without their own children to do the job you want? Would she be fairly easy to replace? Is it true that she is paid the going nannying rate, or is she substantially cheaper because of the inconvenience? This does make a difference I feel.

That's very different then - I assumed she always too them all home together, rather than dragging your children to her children's activities. I don't think that's on at all!

That was really unfair of her to take the last place at the group your dd wanted to join. She said it was inconvenient to go, but then took her own child. I would have been really annoyed about that. Do your children have to wait while that group goes on for her dd? You are paying her to look after your children so Yanbu to expect the nanny to take them to groups and clubs.