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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Childminder - AIBU?

77 replies

HugeLaurie · 11/06/2013 13:01

My childminder is also a friend of some 20+ years so advice would be appreciated.

She looks after my 8yo DS before and after school, inset days and some school holidays.

So here goes:-

  1. More or less every night, when I collect my son, there are the childminder's friends at her house having coffee and a chat. This would be ok if the children were in the same room but they are often in the garden or another downstairs room, unsupervised. More often than not my son, who is the eldest, is reading to the little ones or playing with them in the back garden. This has become more frequent in recent weeks. My previous childcare was a day nursery so I don't know other childminders operate. Is this normal?
  1. My ex usually picks our son up from school on a preset day during the week. Last week he contacted the cm directly to say he wouldn't be picking our ds up and could she collect him from school. Neither of them told me until half past five that the arrangements had changed. I had to cancel what I was doing (work related) to collect my son. I told both of them that I was not very happy about the lack of communication.
  1. Yesterday one of the other parents shouted at my son and was quite nasty to him. I was there when this happened. I did tell my childminder that I did not expect other parents to shout at my child. Discipline is one thing, shouting is another. I am reasonably strict as a parent and my son does get told off when he does something wrong. But I would expect the childminder and not another parent to hand out any discipline if it is required.

All of these things are reasonably minor in the scheme of things and seem a bit trivial when I have typed them out. But I am feeling a bit annoyed and I wonder if IBU to feel like this.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
flowery · 11/06/2013 13:05
  1. YANBU, that is completely unacceptable, she is paid to look after the children not leave them to look after themselves while she chats with her mates. It's one thing with an 8yo but if I were a parent of the younger children I would be especially unhappy about that.
  1. I think that should have been your ex communicating with you, not the childminder. He is responsible for care of your son on that afternoon, so if he can't make it and arranges for the CM to pick him up I don't think it's for her to tell you. I also don't see why you should have had to cancel your thing.
  1. Surely the problem is with the other parent not the CM?
CaptainSweatPants · 11/06/2013 13:04

No 2 is miscommunication btw you & your ex & nothing to do with the childminder

The other 2 points would make me think again about using her

Is there an afterschool club at school?

He'd be much happier with children his own age I'm guessing

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