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Original poster

Baby injured at childminders - advice needed please

212 replies

EmilyD2012 · 25/04/2013 14:03

My DS (10mo) returned from the childminders on Tuesday evening suffering from sunburn. Overnight his face swelled up badly, by Wednesday morning his face was horrific - bright red and he couldn't open his left eye because it was so swollen. We took him to A&E and were told he was most likely suffering an allergic reaction to something or severe sunburn.

After giving him antihistemines and pain relief we were discharged and his face slowly started to deflate. Yesterday afternoon his skin started to blister and, by the evening, was weeping constantly. I took him to the doctors who said that he was suffering from serious sunburn to the face. I asked the childminder how long he had been out in the sun for and she said it had been 30 minutes at most. The doctor disputed this and said that it was very unlikely to have such a dramatic reaction to just 30 minutes in the sun. It is only April, after all.

The childminder is a friend of mine and has always been brilliant with my DS (she has a baby the same age). No part of me thinks that she would have deliberately let him come to any harm. That said, the last 48 hours have been horrendous. Every time I look at my baby my heart breaks. His face is a mass of blisters and open wounds. His left eye looks like it could bruise. I've been given hydrocortisone cream to treat the skin but every time I touch him he screams in pain. Last night I put him to bed and wept.

Today, the childminder came round and saw for herself what a terrible state he is in. I didn't want to make her feel worse than she no doubt already is, but equally felt it was important for her to see that I wasn't exaggerating when I contacted her from the doctors yesterday.

I just don't know what to do. Some of my friends say that such a careless act is unforgivable and I should never leave my DS with her again. Others are more forgiving and say that, after seeing him, she has surely learnt her lesson.

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. What would you do?

Thank you x

OP posts:
babyboomersrock · 27/04/2013 11:11

"paediatric consultant said that, given the extent of his injuries, it is standard practice for social services to get involved and that they will need to interview the CM. I am now trying to figure out how I can let her know without making sound accusatory"

It's not your problem, OP. You don't "let her know". At the moment, you have no way of knowing what - if anything - they will do. The consultant may have been trying to let you know how serious this is, that's all - I don't think he was suggesting it was up to you to tell the CM. It's out of your hands now.

If there was no friendship between you, and this was a business transaction, what would you do? Just shrug it off? To be honest, I'd be livid if a friend allowed this to happen to my baby - but for a registered CM to allow it is inexcusable. Other people's children need to be protected, even if you're happy to forgive her.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/04/2013 19:25

2nd degree burns :(

Glad that doc thinks no scarring will happen but agree must have been in sun for over 30mins

I still don't get why cm didn't cream
Your ds :( it's standard practice for child carers :(

I wouldn't mention to cm that ss may pay her a visit - if they do then go via the hospital and nothing to do with you

So will you allow to keep looking after ds or are you giving her notice

KDKDKD · 26/04/2013 18:50

agree 2nd opinion required and take some photos just in case you need to evidence it in the future. Hope your little one recovers soon.

littlestressy · 26/04/2013 18:32

Glad to hear your son is ok and you got reassuring news from the specialists.
Hope you're able to have a cuddly weekend x

ReetPetit · 26/04/2013 17:52

did she not call you to collect your ds op when he was covered in sunburn? i'm assuming it got worse after you took him home but it must have been very noticeable to her. did she not call you before normal pick up time?

geologygirl · 26/04/2013 17:50

Sorry for spelling....damn phone!

geologygirl · 26/04/2013 17:49

Very pleased to hear that there is not going to be any lasting damage OP. Let SS do their job and terminate your contract with your friend. Im sure she didnt mean for this to happen and she no doubt feels terrible, but she has not cared for your child properly and clearly left the kids out in the sun for a very long time. She seems to have very little understanding of the danger of the sun and comes across as pretty blase about it. You had to aak her round so she could see the injuriea and realiae you werent being OTT! That speaks volumes...

Stay friends with her if you want to, but just don't employ her as your CM. If she's any kind of friend she will understand that her contract cannot continue.

Borntobeamum · 26/04/2013 15:35

I hope you're little boy is better soon.

Can I just add, when my mum hit 74, she became ultra sensitive to the sun and burns just like it seems your son has.
She cannot tolerate any more than 15 minutes.
She refuses to be in direct sunlight at all now.
She was absolutely fine prior to this and although wasn't a sun worshiper, she had many holidays in hot countries and never had a problem.

She's 81 now.

QuintessentialOHara · 26/04/2013 14:10

Glad to hear he is doing better.

You are far too nice to this CM.

I would report her to Ofsted, to be honest.

FacebookWanker · 26/04/2013 14:07

How bad was the accident Jam? When my friend fell down the stairs with her DD she had random visits from SS for a few months afterwards, even though there was a witness to corroborate.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 26/04/2013 14:05

I am glad about the good news.

I see no need to find a way to tell your friend CM. If it is standard procedure, it is just that.

Best wishes to your little one.

MrsHiddleston · 26/04/2013 13:45

I'm glad that the consultant thinks there will be no long term scarring.

You must do what you feel best. But personally, friend or not... I would terminate contract with childminder, report to ofsted and leave ss to do their job.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 26/04/2013 13:38

jamtoast - did your DD have an accident whilst at CM or in your care? Also, yes the weather was a bit unexpected but I still thought to put suncream on my kids and think about the time of day I was out and about with them. It's common sense.

I think the issue with the CM here is whether or not she is lying to OP about the amount of time the baby was left in the sun. CM says half an hour maximum. Specialist says 2 hours. This in itself needs to be addressed as if CM is lying about this I would worry what else she would lie about regardless of whether she is my friend or not.

jamtoast12 · 26/04/2013 13:30

Would SS actually get involved though? When dd had an accident at 6 months and we went to a&e (burnt on cup of tea) we got a quick call from the health visitor to check all was well but not SS?

Whilst I am not condoning your cm, your DS reaction is probably more unusual and severe than most and your cm obviously feels bad. As a friend of yours too I would be forgiving and not sack her. She couldn't have predicted such a reaction and often sunburn isn't apparent for a few hours so she probably didnt notice initially. Given her children were not overly burnt suggests she didnt keep him out all day. Not sure where you live but it wasn't exactly August weather, there's no way I'd have even thought of putting cream on my kids in this weather. It was a bad mistake on her part but I think she probably knows that.

Personally I'd hope SS have more important things to deal with than this careless one off mistake by your friend.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 26/04/2013 13:28

Oh and if this will be going down some sort of official route I would make sure photos are taken of your DS although obviously there will be hospital records as well.

Also, if you prewarn CM she may try and pressure you into not taking it further because you are her friend so might just be best to report it first before saying anything to CM. You could always imply that the hospital instigated it.

ReetPetit · 26/04/2013 13:21

if you really are as nice as you sound - you could just repeat what the consultant has said and mention that ss may contact her...

ReetPetit · 26/04/2013 13:20

glad to hear things are bit better today op.

i think you are being far too nice - just let the hospital/ss do their job - don't worry about it, and personally i wouldn't give her a heads up either. If she has nothing to hide, then you/she have nothing to fear.

WouldBeHarrietVane · 26/04/2013 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimothyClaypoleLover · 26/04/2013 12:58

Emily - so pleased that you have had relatively good news with regard to your son's injuries.

I know this is going to be hard for you, especially seeing as you are friends with your CM, BUT this does need to be dealt with by social services and any childminding officials.

To leave a baby in the sun, unprotected for up to 2 hours is completely unforgiveable. Your CM probably knows how serious this situation is and has possibly lied about the length of time in the sun. Whether or not she is lying though you do need to let the professionals deal with this.

Oh and I would definitely terminate the CM arrangement with immediate effect.

Floralnomad · 26/04/2013 12:49

Just tell the CM what the consultant said , that because of the extent of the injuries SS may wih to speak to her . There is nothing accusatory about that , having said that I assume you will be leaving her so she can read what she likes into that . I'm glad you're baby is going to be ok ,but as I said last night I had similar sounding burns and no after effects .

Thurlow · 26/04/2013 12:49

That's so good to hear that the burns will fade and won't leave any scarring. Two hours is far too long though Sad. Do you know if the hospital have called SS and they are automatically going around to your CM's?

I would call her and say that you've had to go to the burns unit and the doctor says the burns are consistent with being in direct sun for hours. Because of this, you don't feel that it was just an oversight or being caught unawares by the sun, and so you aren't happy are longer for your DS to be looked after by your CM (unless you are, if she agrees to new procedures etc). You don't have to tell her about SS. You can always say that you didn't know SS would be going around to visit.

Waferthinmint · 26/04/2013 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeterParkerSays · 26/04/2013 12:37

EmilyD2012, I'm not sure that you do need to let the childminder know in advance. If you say something, and she suddenyly puts procedures in place to ensure they all have sunhats etc, it won't be an accurate picture on what is happening at that childminders.

Original poster
EmilyD2012 · 26/04/2013 12:31

Back from the burns unit with relatively good news - the consultant is confident that there will be no long term scarring, although it may take up to a month for the marks to fade.

DS is doing ok, he was quite tearful after the fourth person had a poke around but is now sleeping it off. I feel a lot better to know that this episode, along with the scars, will not be with us forever.

The consultant was adamant that DS had been left in the sun for over half an hour. He said the blisters were consistent with him being left in direct sunlight for up to two hours. I asked whether it was possible that my son was hypersensitive to sunlight and he said that not only was it an extremely rare condition, but it would have likely manifested itself before now.

The awkward bit comes now. The paediatric consultant said that, given the extent of his injuries, it is standard practice for social services to get involved and that they will need to interview the CM. I am now trying to figure out how I can let her know without making sound accusatory.

Thank you again for the kind words of support; when I wrote my OP I had no idea that there were so many lovely mums out there willing to offer support.

x

Tanith I think either you've misread or I've not been clear. My friends said the CM was careless to let this happen, which she herself admits. My OP made no reference to her lying. Throughout this process it has been medical practitioners - not me - who have doubted her version of events.

OP posts:
Karoleann · 26/04/2013 12:24

I looked a friends 5 and 7 year olds on Tuesday both boys were out for 30 mins in the garden and burnt. I was really mortified, my boys were fine.

But, they were 5 and 7, so I wasn't watching them constantly - surely your 10 month old is constantly supervised at childminder and she should have seen that his skin was burning. It's not something that happens instantly. I wouldn't let my 1 year old in the garden without supervision never mind a 10 month old.